Feel i need a good cry about my life - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-08-2020, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
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Feel i need a good cry about my life


1. Dont have friends never did, looking back on my baby shower my aunt had to scrounge up distant family members. Friends i thought i had at my former job had better things to do. I think of this bc my cousin had her bby shower yesterday and she had so many people come for her. I just dont know why i dont get the same love from people. I propel them even though im nice. I truly wish I knew what was wrong with me that drives people away.

2. Im 29 still at home. Not for lack of trying. My parenrs sabatoged my last job and my mom doesnf want me to leave and i can tell. Bc she does things to keep me here.

3. Again revisiting loneliness, when my baby was in the hospital bc of a neutropenic fever no one visited. Yet my cousin was in the hospital she had family fly down.

4. No one showed up to my babys bday.

5. My bbays father didnt really love me.. Gave me HPV...the cancerous kind both 16 and 18 ( lucky me) gets carted to jail. Went through pregnancy alone.

6. Exp ppd or ppa no one in my family cares. My mom keeps pushing me tho i lack sleep to run errands this and that. Underminds my parenting

7. Bro moved back in ..so im living with 7 pll and 2 dogs

8. My parenrs got into an accident. My name is on the car but theyre supposed to get alot back . now ive given my mom a **** ton of money over the yrs. 900 for a nursing school she doesnt attend anymore. Gave her 600 every semester i was in school. 25k my grandma left me to help keep a house we lost anyway and she doesnt want to give me a cent. Just pay off the car so shes not saddled with a note and she can buy a house and go to school.


I want to make a vision board but im depressed. I want simple things ike my own place but for some reason it doesnt happen for me.

I feel like im not supposed to be happy at this point.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2020, 08:58 PM
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It sounds like your main issue is abandonment or not being able to count on people, or them not caring. I mean I am old now compared to most people on this site, and you really can't count on people. The friends I had or few women i dated who were popular, those types kind of developed a fake personality to keep everyone entertained. It could be that you are trying too hard. Most popular people with friends don't have any close friends really, just a lot of superficial friends and relationships. I have lived alone for 20 years and it is not some picnic. It has actually been mostly a nightmare, the few women I had over here were disasters to deal with in different ways and none lasted. My point is, whatever chaotic situation you are in with your mother or brother might not be that bad. I would kill for any kind of action right now, even if that meant a ton of family running around and fighting.

Anyway i can relate to having no friends etc. I had a good friend for 7 years who cut me off about 9 years ago. i have resigned myself to the fact that people are slimebags (to censor myself) and everyone is out for themselves. I think for people like us to have friends, we would have to not come across as needy, while developing a fake fun, happy, peppy personality, and devote a lot of energy to that. On some level, we almost need to use people and disrespect them back now, as a way to even the score, even if that is not a smart path to take.

I really think I am the type of person who at his funeral will have no one show up but random strangers so it feels more normal. It really for me comes down to, when i develop something with a woman or a friend, they don't value me and eventually cut me off. The world we live in now, especially with dating sites and facebook everyone is expendable and there is always the next best thing around the corner, or so it seems to people
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2020, 10:03 PM
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Hello and welcome to the forum @Olivenight
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
It sounds like your main issue is abandonment or not being able to count on people, or them not caring. I mean I am old now compared to most people on this site, and you really can't count on people. The friends I had or few women i dated who were popular, those types kind of developed a fake personality to keep everyone entertained. It could be that you are trying too hard. Most popular people with friends don't have any close friends really, just a lot of superficial friends and relationships. I have lived alone for 20 years and it is not some picnic. It has actually been mostly a nightmare, the few women I had over here were disasters to deal with in different ways and none lasted. My point is, whatever chaotic situation you are in with your mother or brother might not be that bad. I would kill for any kind of action right now, even if that meant a ton of family running around and fighting.

Anyway i can relate to having no friends etc. I had a good friend for 7 years who cut me off about 9 years ago. i have resigned myself to the fact that people are slimebags (to censor myself) and everyone is out for themselves. I think for people like us to have friends, we would have to not come across as needy, while developing a fake fun, happy, peppy personality, and devote a lot of energy to that. On some level, we almost need to use people and disrespect them back now, as a way to even the score, even if that is not a smart path to take.

I really think I am the type of person who at his funeral will have no one show up but random strangers so it feels more normal. It really for me comes down to, when i develop something with a woman or a friend, they don't value me and eventually cut me off. The world we live in now, especially with dating sites and facebook everyone is expendable and there is always the next best thing around the corner, or so it seems to people
Thanks for this thoughtful response. Im back with my ex as were expecting a baby together in April. I really hope it works out.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 05:16 PM
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Are you and your ex living together? He has his own place? Is he still in and out of jail?

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
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How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 06:25 PM
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Olivenight Hi. Its your party and you should cry if you want to. So I hope you had yourself a good cry. Disheveled and Lost spoke to what you're feeling best. The people who abandoned you and don't want to be in your life, they don't matter. Sorry you've felt lonely, it sucks feeling like no one's there and no one cares. Trust that things will work out with the ex and your situation

I m afraid of not being enough
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