Everyone seems like such a conformist - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 02:09 AM
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i agree everyone trys so hard to fit in and i dont fit in cause i am hispanic and i live in a really urban enviroment and ill turn my music up all the way in my car when i listen to my rock, metal, metalcore. people just love to look at me now oh the attention i get for not following the trend lol
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post #22 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 02:12 AM
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Everyone wants to be secure. Conforming gives you a sense of belonging/security and acceptance. It's like a survival instinct. Blend in, don't attract unwanted eyes, be safe.

All you have is your fire,
& the place you need to reach.
Don't you ever tame your demons,
but always keep them on a leash.
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post #23 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by FitchForce View Post
Wow I started this thread last January. Someone bumped it. It's still true for me. It's built into me. I can't help getting annoyed when I walk around my campus and see the guys with their flat bill hats say "YOOO a hahaha" and the ****ty girls acting more outgoing just for the sake of looking like they're outgoing.

I get that everyone conforms in some way or another. I guess for most people they do it just to fit in. They want to be part of something. I just wish it didn't bug me so much.
For the past 6 months I was under the impression that your avatar was a duck. My bad.

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing".
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post #24 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
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Why is everyone so concerned about what other people are doing?

You can either 1. Be yourself and deal with how people treat you for doing so, or 2. become a "conformist" and deal with how people treat you for doing so.

Is it wrong for a bunch of college kids to wear hats like in the original post at the start of this thread? I don't see anything wrong with that. I wouldn't say it is "conformist" at all, when I was in college a majority of guys wore hats because they didn't want to take a shower/worry about their hair in the morning. A hat covers it and that's that. Who cares if they wear hats? Why is that conformist??
Well then I guess to you it doesn't matter. I can't help but be annoyed when I see the same thing everywhere I look.

I guess since I'm an INTP the "N" in me sees the broad picture, meaning I see everyone as a whole, and the "T" in my thinks about people a lot. It's not like it really matters all that much. I've never lost sleep because of it, but i'll never be able to not see and point out the commonalities in people.

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For the past 6 months I was under the impression that your avatar was a duck. My bad.
That made me laugh. Yeah it's just a crappy quality picture of Beavis with a football stuck in his helmet.

I might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night.. don't try it suckA!
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post #25 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 02:11 PM
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I can definitely relate to this. It seems like everyone follows a set pattern, and nobody wants to admit that they like geeky things, or like unconventional things.



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post #26 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 03:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Illmatic123 View Post
Well you're right, a lot of people conform against who they really are. I mean it's probably safe to say that EVERYONE conforms to at least some social norms.

But what is more annoying that conformists are people who intentionally find ways to be non-conforming and act like they're above conformists.

But since you said that you're naturally different, then I guess you win.
Yeah that annoys me. Like, people try to be "different" but oftentimes they are conforming to something that's already acceptable like, copying some obscure celebrity's style, one which many would consider "cool." I think it all has more to do with wanting to impress other people, and not necessarily to be different. I think some conform not to purely conform but to be fashionable and impress others, since they know that most people consider mainstream stuff to be cool.
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post #27 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 01:06 AM
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Amazing the backlash from seemingly-intelligent individuals against OP complaining about a very real problem.

The whole idea that "non-conformists are more annoying, are hypocrites, etc." is a non-starter, for the most part. I mean... sure, there are transparently fake non-conformists like hipsters who really are disingenuous and annoying, but that's not really what the OP is talking about.

Take a look around you, for once. Tons and tons of people -- the vast majority, in my experience -- really do take conformity to an unreasonable extreme. They very consciously compromise their inherent preferences, personality traits, etc. if they happen to be unique. It baffles me that so many of you can act like this is a good thing, or even neutral.

Here's some food for thought, next time you want to scoff cynically at someone who dares swim against the flow: the vast majority of truly impactful figures throughout history were real nonconformists who would be laughed out of most high school and college campuses today (and perhaps were in their time, too). Lapping up our commercialized, reality TV, low-IQ-catering mainstream culture may be a guaranteed ticket to acceptance, but it's also a guaranteed ticket to mediocrity and irrelevance.
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post #28 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 01:23 AM
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Who cares if most people are trying to conform? It's not like they're tracking you down and forcing you into polos or side-ways baseball caps. Just find the people you like, and it won't matter any more if everyone else is "trying to conform." Don't pretend like you're some poor lost soul who people "just don't understand." Conformity happens. Find your own path and you won't be so bitter and bothered by it.
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post #29 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 02:29 AM
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post #30 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 08:34 AM
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"Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity."

- Eric Hoffer
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post #31 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by BlazingLazer View Post
"Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity."

- Eric Hoffer
Well said, on a board chock full of nonconformists who are socially isolated and have no "clique" to conform with.

Err... not.
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post #32 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 10:32 AM
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Originally Posted by BlazingLazer View Post
"Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity."

- Eric Hoffer
Well said, on a board chock full of nonconformists who are socially isolated and have no "clique" to conform with.

Err... not.
That was just a quote that came to mind as I was going through this thread. I found it interesting and I thought it displayed another way of looking at things.

Believe me, I know what it is like to struggle between not conforming and being a complete outsider to any social group or sub-group. It may be irrational, but I've never used Facebook or any of those social networking sites because that is a part of me that refuses to conform. Yet I'm most likely missing out on who knows how many social connections (or re-connections).

And I don't think there is an overwhelming percentage of non-conformists here either. Even if most of us are socially isolated. Sometimes we try to find ways to conform (whether consciously or subconsciously) in order to adapt to what can benefit us in any way.
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post #33 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 10:33 AM
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Society only allows you to be nonconformist in pre-ordained ways. These types of pseudo-nonconformists are still considered 'cool' by a large fraction of society and they have no problem finding people to accept them. True nonconformists are ignored or ridiculed because they fall too far outside the range of the arbitrary criteria of likeability that have been decreed by society.
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post #34 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 10:40 AM
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It's also people who some would consider "non-conformist" (geeks, punks and goths, for instance), who are in fact as much conformists as anyone else.
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post #35 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Ape in space View Post
Society only allows you to be nonconformist in pre-ordained ways. These types of pseudo-nonconformists are still considered 'cool' by a large fraction of society and they have no problem finding people to accept them. True nonconformists are ignored or ridiculed because they fall too far outside the range of the arbitrary criteria of likeability that have been decreed by society.

Yes, and I would agree with this astute assessment as well.
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