Everyone I care about lives far away from me - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 09:00 AM Thread Starter
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 09:11 AM
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I have two friends right now, both are from high school(since I never made another friend after highschool, only lost them), one lives in the same state but 3 hours away, and the other is going to school in the carribean I am a bit worried though because I've been talking to them way way less than usual online, I hope we don't stop being friends because of the distance since then I'll have no one. We do have tentative plans to see star wars over christmas though!


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It also sucks because having people I can text etc every day makes me much less motivated to seek out new friends irl, since I have that fake 'company'.
If you were motivated to try, how would you try?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 09:23 AM
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It also sucks because having people I can text etc every day makes me much less motivated to seek out new friends irl, since I have that fake 'company'.
Oh yeah I can definitely relate to that, I lost many of my rl friends long ago and now I made new friends almost exclusively on the internet, people that I will probably never met in person. Am not saying that those people are not important nor do I think our relation is "fake" but indeed it makes me less motivated to make rl friends.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 09:54 AM
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Heh this is me too..

Not really made any "local" friends since I was at uni 8 years ago (whom I don't even speak to for various reasons)

The only actual local friends I have remaining are from school when we were 11/12. One I do occasioanlly meet up with for a pizza or something like every month or 2, the other one I've seen once in 2015...

I've befriended a few folk online, good friends I'd call them, we have met up and everything (yes they are real!) but its not exactly the sort of relationship where you can ask them to meet up and do something on a weekend when you live 5hrs away... It's more like a day outing is arranged every 4-5 months at best...

Honestly? I get on better with the online folk most of the time, its crap, and it takes me so long to get comfortable with someone I feel I'm only capable of making friends with people online in the first place (I didn't say a single word to anyone during college for the first 10 months, how can I befriend people like this?) I don't even know where to begin with trying to find local friends to be fair..
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 10:09 AM
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It also sucks because having people I can text etc every day makes me much less motivated to seek out new friends irl, since I have that fake 'company'.
I can relate to this.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 10:42 AM
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I'm in a similar position. It's nice to have friends who care enough about me to maintain a relationship despite the distance, and who've be happy to host me on the occasions I could come visit. I guess an excuse for travel is a positive.

But yeah, when making new friends is a challenge, it's a difficult transition when ones you have move. You potentially shift from having plenty of social interaction to not knowing who to call when you're bored or lonely.

It's probably good that you at least have people to text though. I get what you're saying about motivation, but interacting with other people is grounding. When you're struggling with your own thoughts/emotions, it's easy to backslide if you spend too much time in a vacuum.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 02:45 PM
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I can definitely relate to this thread. I cant call myself a loner but I technically am because most of my friends don't even live in Europe. The only time when I've made friends was when I worked abroad but all these peeps live in USA, Japan or Brazill. I love these guys but I would love to be able to regularly hang out with a squad.

Right now I have noone. I'm trying to get used to it but it's hard y'know?

It's so much worser when you get older and leave education. No ways to make friends and everyones obsessed with their career. I dont see how I can make friends now.

I was contemplating using meetup.com but in my experience it's not very good.


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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 03:31 PM
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That sucks. I am going to be in the same situation unfortunately. I have three friends (all 3 from high school). One lives 2 hours away. The other 2 go to the same university as me. We still hang out semi- regularly, because they've gotten gf and new friends etc. They're all I got and in a couple months both of them will go abroad for 6 months... Not looking forward to this time...... it will suck

"super inspirational quote"
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 03:40 PM
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welcome to your 20's. I see your 21 which is nice for your sake, you're still very young. It only gets weirder, people get weirder and the things people value in life only get weirder through your 20's. So even good friends are hard to hold onto, even within the same town.

buckle up, I can't wait to turn 30. Sick of the ****ing games that you need to play in order to fit in in your 20's. I find most 20 something don't have a ****ing clue of what they want, good from bad, nice from douchbag, caring, from unthoughtful, ****head from poo poo face. Yeah you get my point. Basically I'm disgusted with what people become and what drives them in life. to sum it up, once in your 20's its all about you. nobody cares about one another and if they do, it's because they can provide them with a commodity. In the form of social circles, financial and wealth related variables, ect. you provide nothing, or less than most... for a lack of better wording, even if your a solid person, before long you'll be ex'd out for someone that can bring a little more to the table.

Sorry for the negativity, hope you find a friend close by. Probably didnt give you a lot of hope. not that you were counting on me anyway.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 06:58 PM
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welcome to your 20's. I see your 21 which is nice for your sake, you're still very young. It only gets weirder, people get weirder and the things people value in life only get weirder through your 20's. So even good friends are hard to hold onto, even within the same town.

buckle up, I can't wait to turn 30. Sick of the ****ing games that you need to play in order to fit in in your 20's. I find most 20 something don't have a ****ing clue of what they want, good from bad, nice from douchbag, caring, from unthoughtful, ****head from poo poo face. Yeah you get my point. Basically I'm disgusted with what people become and what drives them in life. to sum it up, once in your 20's its all about you. nobody cares about one another and if they do, it's because they can provide them with a commodity. In the form of social circles, financial and wealth related variables, ect. you provide nothing, or less than most... for a lack of better wording, even if your a solid person, before long you'll be ex'd out for someone that can bring a little more to the table.

Sorry for the negativity, hope you find a friend close by. Probably didnt give you a lot of hope. not that you were counting on me anyway.
Totally agree but it's not like anything's going to change in your 30's. besides the number of people with family's and maybe a priority shift to that.

You have no effect on me because you are flat chested!
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 07:04 PM
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Totally agree but it's not like anything's going to change in your 30's. besides the number of people with family's and maybe a priority shift to that.
Very true. Here's to hoping. Hope is all I got left. My 20's haven't been kind to me. And well I haven't been kind my to my 20's either. Ready for a change. Even if that's a number.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 07:07 PM
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A friend of mine lived on the west coast and recently moved back here to the east coast. I used to see him often because he was now nearby. That tampered off, probably because he realized that he didn't really like me.

And my roommates seem to be getting the idea that I suck, and it would have been better to not move in together. For example, today, I get texted (I hate cell phones - whenever mine rings or beep sin my vicinity I feel the immediate urge to toss it far away) and invited to dinner at home. I rarely keep my phone on me and didn't get the text until six hours later. Now I'm home and they're gone and most likely realize I'm a ****ty person, because I am.

Distance is sometimes a good thing, but I'm sure you're a good person, OP. I'm sure. Otherwise, things would be otherwise. As is such, don't listen to anything I say.

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