Ever been talked into a Fight?
Before I begin, let me just explain something real quick...I. AM. A. *****. I have never been able to fight or defend myself because my body and head get all messed up when I'm confronted. I stiff up all over. My hands, neck, and jaw muscles tremble and shake, and I feel this intense fear and anxiety. Its been that way my whole life, so I never got into fights or went out of my way to start a fight, or look for a one. I was always avoiding that kind of thing, and whenever I did get hit, I didn't fight back...so that being said...
In 1995, when I was 14 years old, I was hanging out with these 2 bothers named Ryan and Nathan (Ryan was 13, Nathan was 12). I had known them for years, and I thought of them as friends even though I didn't hang out with them much. We were playing in their backyard and there cousin Joe showed up. I never met him before, but he seemed cool as we chilled in the backyard. At one point Nathan comes up to me and says "we don't like Joe, he talks tough but hes just a *****" and I'm like "oh, ok" and Nathan says "you should kick his *** and teach him not to talk trash", and I say "Nah hes not doing anything to me". We continue hanging out for a little longer, then Joe leaves with his mom. After hes gone, Ryan tells me "Joe said he could beat you in a fight", and I'm like "Really? Why?" and Ryan is like "He always talks trash about people, that's why we don't like him". They spent the next 2 weeks convincing me to fight this kid that I had only met once, and it was working. They told me they had my back if he decided to fight back, but they assured me he wouldn't fight back and that I would win easy. I believed them when they told me he was talking trash, and that I could win, so I started feeling like I should do it. I convinced myself that he deserved it for being nice to my face, but talking trash about me behind my back. I also felt tough for the first time in my life, and it was a little intoxicating to hear them saying positive things about me.
We were hanging out in their basement one day, and Joe showed up. As we played some video games, Nathan kept asking me to fight Joe before he went home, and I finally said "Ok". I felt confident and excited, and walked over to where he was sitting on the couch. I stood over top him and said "I heard you wanted to fight". Ryan and Nathan were standing behind me, and I felt pretty safe. Suddenly Joe jumps up and grabs me and throws me onto the couch and starts punching me. He continues hitting me as I am trying to block with my arms, but he kept hitting me in the jaw and it hurt like hell, plus it was terrifying and I was in full panic mode. I was able to get up, and I tried to go out the back door but Nathan stood there blocking it, with a pleasurable smirk on his face. Joe kept hitting me as I went to the stairs to try and go up, but Ryan was standing on the first step, blocking them as well. After a few more hard punches to my head and face, I started crying and said something like "My mom is waiting for me I gotta get home", and Nathan moved and let me out the back door. I walked home with tears and blood running down my face, and in shock. I couldn't understand what had just happened, and I felt like such a *****. For years I thought it was my fault and that the way I acted was the reason I got beat up, but over the years I eventually realized those 2 brothers were evil little manipulating jerks, and I wasn't completely to blame.