Even making progress is making me depressed. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 06:25 PM Thread Starter
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Even making progress is making me depressed.


Today at work they randomly asked me to train two future managers in a specific job. Mind you I'm not a manager, I'm not a trainer, I'm just a regular worker.

They chose me because I do that specific job the best, I didn't ask or want to train anyone. Anyway they just threw me in to train people without any warning.

I've trained people before, but not higher ups. I was specially nervous because the managers at work tend to be social butterflies.

Anyways. I got throughout it. I wasn't very anxious, but my terrible social skills definitely showed. My voice is naturally low so they had a hard time hearing me. I had a hard time explaining things well. I felt like I was running out of breath everytime I went into detail to explain something.

Things went well (from the perspective of a person with SA), but I feel like a failure. I feel like I didn't do a good job because of my ****ty social skills, and low confidence.

I'm really anxious of going back in to work tomorrow. I feel like they will think "oh there's that loser who can't speak to save his life. "

I've improved a lot over the past few years, but I feel like I will always have a quiet voice, no confidence, and will always run out of things to say.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-23-2020, 02:19 PM
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You're overthinking. I've trained manager trainees in certain roles before too. As long as you aren't a condescending prick or otherwise inappropriate most people you train just want to get it over with as much as you do.

Like you said, they sorta threw people at you and nobody is a fan of that, regardless of their social skills. Just keep improving.

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old Today, 08:15 AM
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This reminds me of something I heard which is an unpopular opinion. Techniques like the power of positive thinking and positive affirmations, you could argue, can do more harm instead of progress. Like I heard there's some stadium event for positive thinking and most people there are negative despite practicing the positive thinking technique. Then with affirmations, the more you say for example "I am great" is just reinforcing that your not great to begun with. It's like the more you say to yourself something, the more your unconsciously confirming that your not that something in the first place, and that just grows bigger and bigger causing you to become more sad.

It's like this one scene from the 1999 movie American Beauty. The woman is crying then she tries to say all this affirmations but you can see the intense struggle and suffering where she wants to cry but she tries to force herself to stop and say the affirmations, so she's forcing all those negative emotions to stay inside her, and as a result, negativity will keep controlling her.

Remember, your views and what you have to say matter to others AND to yourself
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old Today, 08:31 AM
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At least the the company trusts you to train managers. Means they have confidence in your ability and dont see you as a loser. So thats a very good thing.

Keep trying and improving like you are doing. Good job
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