Dwelling on missed oppertunities - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-10-2007, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
going hazy
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-10-2007, 04:21 PM
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re: Dwelling on missed oppertunities

Right on. Bullseye. We're screwed.
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-10-2007, 06:32 PM
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Re: Dwelling on missed oppertunities

Originally Posted by Njodis
I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about all of the missed opportunities I've had over the years. I know it's stupid and pointless, but I can't help it. I know my life could have been so much different today if I wasn't so avoidant of social situations. Any time I was invited to do something with other people, I would just make up some lame excuse like having to study or something stupid like that. I would do this every single time. I just didn't want to have to deal with it; I preferred to just stay at home, alone. In classes I would just sit alone while everyone else talked with each other. Everyone around me made friends easily while I was too nervous and scared to even try to talk to people.

I dunno. Like I said, it's a waste of energy to even be thinking about this, but it's tough. If I could go back about 10 years with the knowledge I have today, my crappy situation today would be totally different.
you have the knowledge now to change so why not try?

I made a post last week about how I could have spoken up and talked to people in my classroom but I don't (I still don't) but I want to, i'm holding my self back from doing it each time in class but I know the opportunity is there everyday to do it and will be there so long as I'm in class

One of these days i'm just going to say something, like HELLO lol...hello there...the person then will reply....Uhmmm Hi....i'll give one of those weird nods back with a smile....but I DID IT....woooohoooo in your face fear
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-11-2007, 01:14 AM Thread Starter
going hazy
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Well yeah, you're right, but I'm just thinking this all would have been a lot easier if I didn't act this way for so long. Would have been a lot easier to try and change back then...
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-11-2007, 11:24 AM
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I'm currently dwelling on a recent specific missed opportunity and it's really getting me down. To me there's nothing worse than feeling as though I missed out on a great relationship or friendship due to my SA.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-11-2007, 06:59 PM
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I would suggest the book "Power of Now", that talks about how the present moment is the only one that matters. Living in the past (whether good or bad) is an illusion in your mind. I understand how you feel, it pisses me off too to look at people who are really happy and knowing that it could have been me. But seriously, only now matters. And plus you're really young, focus all that energy on what you want to do now to change your situation.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-12-2007, 08:04 AM
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re: Dwelling on missed oppertunities

Am I the only one here who actually doesn't have any regrets about missed opportunities? Fact is, I haven't had any opportunities at all, so I can't regret missing them. Perhaps I have regrets about not having any regrets. Since that sounds like a seductively dangerous recursion, I'll step away now without thinking any harder about it....

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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-13-2007, 11:45 PM
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Missed opportunities does bother me. But I usually try to focus what's happening in my life now that I understand my problem a little better.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-14-2007, 05:36 AM
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"Don't live by what ifs.

Just do it.

Better to regret doing it than to regret not doing it"

just a little quote/motto i found

I'm not suggesting this but for me to go ahead with invitations i have a little bit of alcohol before hand, just a little not too much. helps me loosen up and that way, i can look back and think, i'm glad i went ahead and done that, rather than looking back not doing it, thinking "i wish i'd done that..."

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, why not baffle them with BS?
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 03-14-2007, 05:59 AM
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^^^haha alcohol does work, i talked to some girls the other night, who i had talked to before - but hardly, for a decent amount of time all because i was pretty pissed..lol. so it is good in some instances, but i probably ended up saying something stupid. oh well

except alcohol probably isnt the best idea for wanting to talk to some of the girls in my classes, whilst in class that is :P
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