Don't you hate it when people ignore you in PM's? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 07:46 PM
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Sorry to hear that you get ignored irl and online! Wish you the best! if I'm unsure about someone I won't choose to talk to them.
Just wondering - what do you look for in a friend, IRL or online? You mentioned needing to like their personality, etc. What qualities or characteristics are you drawn to, and what turns you off?

I just ask because I feel some similarities between what you've posted and my own difficulties making friends I actually like and jive with.
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post #42 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 08:29 PM Thread Starter
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Just wondering - what do you look for in a friend, IRL or online? You mentioned needing to like their personality, etc. What qualities or characteristics are you drawn to, and what turns you off?

I just ask because I feel some similarities between what you've posted and my own difficulties making friends I actually like and jive with.
Hi, sorry I don't feel like being more detailed bc people online can be fake.

What do you mean you have some similarities b/t what I've posted and your own difficulties of making friends you actually like and jive w/?
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post #43 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 09:13 PM
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Hi, sorry I don't feel like being more detailed bc people online can be fake.

What do you mean you have some similarities b/t what I've posted and your own difficulties of making friends you actually like and jive w/?
I understand.

I mean, from reading some of your posts, I feel that you're quite selective with friends and whether or not to respond to people who PM you. Is that right?

I was wondering why you were so selective with potential friends and whether or not to PM someone back. Maybe it's because I'm very different from you - I'm not very selective with friends, and I've responded to almost everyone who's messaged me on various sites. However, people who continue to want to be friends with me, IRL or online, are not people that I innately like and find appealing. The people that I do like don't continue being my friends, IRL or online - or if they do, they're condescending and bullying.
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post #44 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 10:27 PM
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Your PM box is full
....Ah ok that figures cause I've never cleared it out 🙂

Edit: I have 1700+ messages between quotes & PM's, deleting them on my phone is a pain in the butt, I might just try to delete 100 a day for a while.






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post #45 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 05:02 AM
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I thought about this question overnight and I'll say this if someone sends you a message and you can take a few seconds out of your day to give the recipient a quick reply to the very least by saying "don't feel comfortable", or "I do not always check for PM's", ect, then the sending can make a choice to end it their or still send you PM's or you can also some up with an alternate method of communicating.

I have a few times did not want to PM, one the site was a pain to login to, but I instead asked them to send me an e-mail or text me.



Now if you're talking about private messages on Facebook I don't necessarily blame the recipient I put the blame on Facebook because if you aren't friends with that person your message automatically goes into a special folder and most people aren't made aware of it.



If you do not want PM's than you should disable it or say something along thses lines "Please do not PM me" witch I have seen on here and other places.



The only times I think it would be not necessary and it wouldn't be rude to reply if it's clearly spam.
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post #46 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 05:50 AM
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It might only be dissapointing in a way that if you really might want to share something, or help someone, and they don't answer back. But it takes usually a long time for people here to respond or answer at all. Most here are learning to socialize or conquer their fears in the first place so you need to be appreciative if someone talks to you. I like if people motivate, inspire and stimulate each other though to communicate. And not know you have to be afraid of the other. I will always answer a pm but I don't expect others to always do the same. It might be that you are dissapointed because your expectations are too high. Give it time, everything you receive is a plus, and be thankful for what you get.
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post #47 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 08:01 AM
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Iím sorry to anyone who has sent a PM I never replied to. I would have read it, thought ďIíll reply to this later, when I can think of a good reply,Ē and then when I decided to finally reply, it was a few days or weeks after I got it and I thought it was too late to reply. I used to do it a lot, but Iíve been trying to get better with it.

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post #48 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by SASsier1 View Post
I understand.

I mean, from reading some of your posts, I feel that you're quite selective with friends and whether or not to respond to people who PM you. Is that right?

I was wondering why you were so selective with potential friends and whether or not to PM someone back. Maybe it's because I'm very different from you - I'm not very selective with friends, and I've responded to almost everyone who's messaged me on various sites. However, people who continue to want to be friends with me, IRL or online, are not people that I innately like and find appealing. The people that I do like don't continue being my friends, IRL or online - or if they do, they're condescending and bullying.
I would say I'm selective with friends. I usually don't just talk to anyone. I'm sorry to hear that the people you do like being friends w/ don't continue being your friends.
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post #49 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 03:59 PM
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I find it rude but then I know I have to be understanding that they probably are too anxious to reply to me or else they think something wrong of me and don't tell me and then I have no say in return. it's just not a nice feeling. I'll get over it. I'm just feeling bored now.
I don't understand this. Why not just tell them you're not comfortable chatting and end it there? Saying SOMETHING (even if rude) is still better than completely ignoring, at least from my perspective
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post #50 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 06:49 PM
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hmm. I'm a chatty person.. you can pm me and i'll respond that is if you want ofc.

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post #51 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 07:14 PM
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Not ignored, I just think PMing only goes so far, eventually you run out of stuff to talk about and it starts feeling like a chore. Plus because its online there isn't really any strong incentive to keep contact vs actually seeing someone physically. I know I'm guilty of this.
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post #52 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 08:09 PM
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I think I've always taken the time to answer PM's. It doesn't take long. The only time I wouldn't have was if the person was on my ignore list to start with so I don't think you actually see their messages to you anyway.
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