I've been told something by my parents my whole life that never made sense to me. That Jesus fills the void. It never made any sense. In fact God doesn't make sense, let alone that he has a Son, which also made no sense. So as a result, I've lived the last many years believing that I don't know what's true, and that it's all chaos. Because that's what it feels like.
At this point in my life, at 27, I am still unsure of what is true. But I do know one thing. There is a severe void inside my heart. A staggering, empty chasm. And it demands to be filled with something. That is what every single person on this planet is doing. Filling it with something. People don't think they're talented, they develop a view of themselves that's horrible, and that they have no meaning. So they involve themselves in things to numb the pain like drugs, alcohol, porn, or even resort to suicide.
Others have lots of talent. And in fact they seem to find peace, serenity, and joy about it. I think what those kinds of people have is faith. They've seen that they can accomplish things, and instills this faith inside, and this faith is what drives them to do everything. What's more, the more faith they have in one thing, they wonder why they can't have it in another. And this is where they summon the strength. The ironic thing is about some of these people is that they're succeeding also at distracting themselves. Distracting themselves from the reality that it's all going to end. That no matter what careers they reach, what goals they reach, what amazing feats they complete, if there is no God, no reality beyond life, and no existence that has deep meaning, then this life is simply pointless.
I'm beginning to wonder what it is about Christ that gives people such joy and hope. Because they believe so adamantly that Jesus, and what he did, is of such significance and such beauty, that it's an example so powerful that it is the ultimate source of strength for people. The idea that they don't have to fear death because Jesus will give them life. The idea that they don't have to fear God's punishment because Jesus paid the price of damnation. The idea that they don't have to feel pointless because Jesus promises a grand meaning for them that will blow their minds.
So the first question I have is if what they say about Jesus did in fact historically happen, which is what I'm trying to find out, then it's of more importance than anything can be. The only question that plagued my mind was that if Jesus is required to be saved, why wouldn't God make it more plain to people through some kind of miraculous thing? Well if this man's story is true, then perhaps he is doing something to help people. I hope you'll watch this special. It brought me to tears. It will play as one big playlist.
The reason I am here on this site today is because when I woke up, I thought to myself, aah I can sleep a little more, even though it was already late in the day. Then another thought came into my head, I had seen a video on facebook of a few of my friends that i had not talked to in a long while, who had taken a trip somewhere together and they arent much older than me and i thought wow, they are independent and having so much fun. Then I realized how pathetic my life is to me. I realized that i do nothing but go to work and back to my room, and church that one special day of the week and back to my room. Today i thought i would look to see if anyone feels this deadness that i do and i found this site, and i am glad that, at least i am not the only one that feels this way.
I am 19, this my first year in college, and i am working in a retail store. I can relate to what everyone is saying. I don't live anymore, I'm just there. I am a christian and I visit a church regularly and I am happy in church but it's only one day of the week. If it wasn't for my church, I would be much like one person said, I would have had whole months of just blankness and I wouldn't remember anything because of this constant routine.
I am not here to promote the church, I know that a lot of people are like "oh here we go again..." No. I'm just like everyone else, I have no idea what I want to do and I'm scared. I feel like everything is worthless. For example, once I get my degree in whatever and I work behind a desk or something for a very long time... Then what?? Sit on a buncha cash and try to figure out how to spend it? It seems like this is what this world wants me to think but I have had quite a lot of time to think and I know that that would not make me happy in the end.
I have been told by many people that I am pretty good looking guy, and I like to think that I am smart because I have never failed or dropped a class and, i dont drink or smoke and yet i cant find friends that i can truly be real with. I find that everyone around me is fake. And i really want a girlfriend but everytime a girl likes me, i realize its not because of who i am but because of what i look like. I end being hurt because i am boring or "too perfect" or i end up hurting a girl. I never want to hurt anyone because i have been there and i dont want to cause that to anyone ( in other words i refused to be a player) and this has made me so shy, i find it very hard to talk to girls, especially ones that i like.
When i read through all the posts, the one that i quoted i related to the most, because i sort of grew up in christian home and i was saved from a lot of things, including doing drugs. I hope i didnt get off topic, but the video dogeymon posted kinda got me. I watched the whole thing. It wasnt like i got a complete understanding of what i want to do but it clarified a few things in my walk with God.
Here is what i concluded, society tells us to become these takers, and never give, society tells us to be the big bosses and make a load of money and drive nice cars and have huge houses and think only about yourself. And all of this, is to hide the truth, because if you believe this then you are feeding all the other greedy people. This life isnt only about us. If we live a life in which all we care about is ourselves then we will always be miserable. This is the reason why marriages go wrong, because one of the partners says, well what about me? and the other says, well what about me? and what about their kid. who is gonna take care of the poor kid that the parents dont want to put effort in raising because its all about them? they just want to have fun like everyone else... It's not all about us, the sooner we start loving other people more than ourselves (which is the opposite of what everyone, aka society, tells us to do), the sooner we start living.
I hope i helped someone and that someone feels the same way i do