Don't know what to do with my life - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-02-2010, 07:20 PM
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i feel ur pain centrigal. Ive been in the same boat recently too. i just dont enjoy anything in life anymore. And i dont want to with the way people have been treating me lately. like its been bothering me to the point where seeing people live their lives on Tv shows makes me sad. I do plan on going to college and thats my only hope for a bright future. I wish people understood more and the emotional pain. I want a girlfriend but would she understand my SA? But i feel very lonely too. Always sitting in my room, but still, i wouldnt want to go out much either cuz i feel like people are too fake these days. Idk ive just been feeling very insecure about life. I wish it was secure again.
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post #22 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-07-2010, 07:59 PM
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I'm 19 and I feel for some reason that i've already run out of time in a sense.. I'm not even sure for what i have run out of time for. I just moved states and i thought the change may enable changes in my feelings toward life but it is no better. I suppose this is the perfect example of when people tell you that you cannot run away from your problems, they follow you.. but i have no idea how to face them either. My social skills are quite horrible. When i am pushed into a situation i can make it work, but the thing is there is so much fret before hand i find afterward it wasn't even worth it. I have tried changing my attitudes toward life but i'm extremely nervous and self conscious and those override anything else. Everyone thinks i just need a job to distract myself, but i dont think distraction is the key and i honestly cant see myself doing any better any time soon if ever, even though it is desperately what i want.
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post #23 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-07-2010, 08:15 PM
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I've recently wasted a bunch of time sleeping, doing nothing. Not even going to school. My worthlessness is getting out of hand and it feels that the only place I am somewhat needed is at home (some don't even have that)...

Don't you hate it how time is kinda the master of all damn things ?
Just press a pause button and fall asleep for like a week...
That is a super power I would like to freakin' possess...

"i'd leave you at the altar, knowing all the things i've just escaped."
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post #24 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 03:59 PM
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I stumbled upon this site completely by accident but I've got to say you are all stating exactly how I feel.
I've got a loving Partner, and we rent a nice flat within walking distance of work, we've got loads of friends between us, I have every reason to be happy. but life just seems really meaningless, I'm currently self employed but I'm thinking of going back to being employed by someone else, and just the thought terrifies me. I just can't seem to be happy. I just want to stay at home, in bed and cry. I have no motivation, no ambition and no goals, everything seems to be grey and monotonous. It makes me feel better than I'm not alone in this!

Just wish I could work out how to make up from this "coma" like state and start living.
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post #25 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 04:24 PM
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I know exactly how you all feel. Ever since I graduated from college with a useless degree I've felt restless. I've even changed locations, changed from one ****ty job to the next in hopes of inspiration, yet still I have no clear answers.

My parents try to get me to apply to jobs in my field (journalism), but I think it's pretty much a fruitless matter because:
A. I don't know if I want to do it anymore.
B. The field is going down the toilet.

I don't have any real skills or any talent, so I rely on a constant positive attitude that things will get better. While I'm good at convincing everyone around me that I'm A-OK, the truth is I'm so restless that I make myself sick. Seriously. Some days I'll have this overwhelming sense of dread or feel anxious. I'll even feel sick to my stomach. Unfortunately, I can never pin-point what exactly is ailing me and what I could do to help change my situation.

The simple question is, how do I figure out what I want to do? How do any of us do it?
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post #26 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 05:10 PM
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Sounds like we're all experiencing existential dread. Someone recommended this book to me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning. I'm sure it would be illuminating if I read it. It's just that this topic leaves me paralyzed with fear. I'm able to think rationally; I know that I'm responsible for whatever meaning my life could have, but I'm just stuck. Maybe you can take heart in the fact that a lot of people are in the same boat.

I've actively resisted moving forward in my life. Seriously, I've done things that haven't made any sense until now. I think someone up thread mentioned the phases that everyone is supposed to go through (or things that everyone is supposed to want to have): school, work, starting a family, etc. So many concepts seem alien to me, perhaps because I used to isolate myself when I was supposed to be gaining experience and preparing to make "my mark on the world." Lately I've been thinking, if I manage to accomplish one thing (years later than what is considered "normal"), then what?
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post #27 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 08:03 PM
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If the world were fair, then Nature would compensate people for their shortcomings in some way. So if you're not exceptionally intelligent, you might be physically attractive instead. And someone who was terrible in social situations might be endowed with some great talent or skill. But it doesn't work that way. Qualities aren't distributed equally, they form clusters. So you'll often find people who are beautiful AND smart AND talented, while the rest of humanity has to contend with the scraps.

Being mediocre and introverted is the worst possible combination. Because I'm completely awkward and incompetent at interacting with other people, and at the same time I have nothing to do on my own either; no passion, no interests. For the longest time I wanted to compose music, but I soon realized that I just don't have the intellectual capacity to understand the concepts involved, so I gave up on that. Bach had an IQ of 180 or so, if I remember correctly. Seriously, it's like a snail trying to outrace a Ferrari. And I'm long past that stage where my brain assimilates new information easily. So I guess I'm just a machine for converting water into urine.
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post #28 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-18-2010, 09:26 PM
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yup i feel something similar yet different


uselessguy.... first thing the system said was id is not taken.... i guess it was made for me...

I graduated with a bba degree then found a job 5 month later and got laid off 6 month later. I have no clue what I am suppose to do with my life. Everything started during my senior year in HS. I learned that we had to apply to something called "college" and potential students were to be filtered out by GPA/essay. Parents and friends never ever spoke about college. My GPA was so low that i got rejected from all university except for city university. That was fine. It was a smooth process, just follow instructions as stated, just apply and wait for notification to start class in the fall. I transferred out of the college in which most of my friends attended simply because it was a better school and friends were there. I declared my major when i was half way into my junior year because I didn't know what i want to study or do with my life. So I just randomly chose a business major and went on with my business. I did pretty good in college. All I did was study and play games. Scored a high gpa with no working experience which is equivalent to useless. Guess what? It's time for graduation!! yay!! i skipped all my graduation, because I've had some horrible experience back in my childhood years and I don't know much people. It's kind of depressing. Finally, I graduated. What's next? Where's the instruction that I can follow? What am I suppose to do? Oh I found out, you're on your god damn own now. Friends... what are friends good for? I used to think that I don't need to be popular and know over 1000000 people. I just need a small circle of good friends whom I can trust, talk to, and to help me when I'm in trouble. After graduation, after finding their gf, finding their bf, finding their job, they don't even call me anymore. Now i'm just telling myself that I don't need friends. If i'm going to get something done then i'm going to get something done myself. But i have no clue on what needs to be done therefore i am static now.

I tried hitting the clubs and it just didn't work for me. I have no job, no girl, no money, almost no friends. A lot of people tells me that i'm good looking and that I have a bright future. I'm feeling the complete opposite. Is this what we called a self fulling prophecy? The more I think, the more depress i get and the more i repress.

Why can't i just be average? get a average gf, average job, average life. Hang out with friends and do something fun. nothing is fun anymore either. pool, games, sports, dinner, lunch, chatting, anything. maybe i'll do something crazy... out of the ordinary...
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post #29 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-18-2010, 10:40 PM
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I feel this way right now. I think this feeling can be directly attributed to financial and relationship issues but I can relate. I am about to be 26 and certainly didn't see myself living at home without a degree, career or gf/wife.

We can only move forward, right? I can spend the next month feeling sorry for myself (which I have spent a lot of time doing) or I can change this sh**. Hope you feel better.
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post #30 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-19-2010, 04:03 PM
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You sum up my life totally. I just came home from living in Tokyo, Japan for about 2 years and now I'm a nobody again. Though my trip would change my life, but no, I'm just back to nothing.
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post #31 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-20-2010, 07:01 AM
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When I got this result after typing in 'I don't know what to do with my life' into Google, I couldn't quite believe it; reading all the above threads, finding a whole bunch of people with the same issue as me just made me cry, a lot!

I'm nearly 25, have been to uni and dropped out twice, been on VTEC courses, worked in a variety of shops and done care work and have still no clue as to what I want to do with my life. I have extreme dificulty with long term goals and interacting with people. I can't stick to things, have few practical skills and real problems with educational institutions. I find my anxiety medication does little for me and because I've screwed up or failed so many times my parents are angry and fed up with me.

Technically, I'm homeless, though I do have some very relaxed friends helping me out. I don't 'take' to many people and prefere to keep most people away. Right now I'm at my Dads and spending a lot o time in my room. What I am good at is art and working on that technical level, but I dont have the capacity to be an art teacher or art therapist and I think I would worry so much if I tried to be a freelance artist, that I would get myself into a bigger mess. Some would call that self defetist, but knowing myself and my behavoural patterns, I know its just realistic.

I plan to go back to my doctor and ask to see a psychiatrist, but for the moment, I am still worried about being homeless, jobless and falling into the fringes of society. In Britian the rules on incapacity benefits are getting stricter, so I doubt that I'll be classed as ill enough to live on them.

I don't know what to do.
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post #32 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-28-2010, 08:25 PM
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how many people feeling this way have or do marijuana or any other drug during their teenage/early adult years of their life?
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post #33 of 325 (permalink) Old 11-28-2010, 08:51 PM
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I thik this society is designed to make people feel that way...if you can't conform to the norms of liking what everyone else likes..finding lame hobbies to commit to, doing this or that, aside from being a drone, then youre just not normal..to be honest, after everything people witness in the media ,the way things have gotten..how interesting can things be out there? I mean...you can take part in things, find passions, enjoyment...but in a lot of cases...all these things..are so robotic...theres no diversity in them...no real passion, no real anything...its all about being a collective drone in a society full of them...once you come to the realization of what things really are...and have no one special to even do these things with...how exciting is it to do something or take interest in it....I mean i think life is beautiful and to be explored..and its great to do things...but the structure upon which society is founded on andthe way things are done, is just so fake...strange...it makes you not want to be a part of it...
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post #34 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-03-2010, 08:55 PM
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Originally Posted by centrigal06 View Post
I always feel like I should be doing something, but there's nothing really that I'd like to do. I don't really enjoy doing much of anything anymore. Everything I do makes me feel restless. Does anyone else feel that way? I don't want to do nothing, but doing something seems equally as bad. So I spend most of my time alone in my room. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do. I think it's really bothering my roommate too because she has a life and things to do and doesn't understand why I'm hiding in my room all the time. I don't want to hide in my room....I just don't know how to deal with people or life anymore.....nothing makes me happy or maybe happy is too much to expect. I'd just like to be o.k. but nothing makes me feel o.k. I keep thinking about a quote from the movie 'Heathers' that goes "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?" Because in one sense it kind of feels like I'm dead emotionally, but my physical body is still alive so I have to figure out something to do with my life as long as I'm physically still alive. Does that make any sense?
I've been told something by my parents my whole life that never made sense to me. That Jesus fills the void. It never made any sense. In fact God doesn't make sense, let alone that he has a Son, which also made no sense. So as a result, I've lived the last many years believing that I don't know what's true, and that it's all chaos. Because that's what it feels like.

At this point in my life, at 27, I am still unsure of what is true. But I do know one thing. There is a severe void inside my heart. A staggering, empty chasm. And it demands to be filled with something. That is what every single person on this planet is doing. Filling it with something. People don't think they're talented, they develop a view of themselves that's horrible, and that they have no meaning. So they involve themselves in things to numb the pain like drugs, alcohol, porn, or even resort to suicide.

Others have lots of talent. And in fact they seem to find peace, serenity, and joy about it. I think what those kinds of people have is faith. They've seen that they can accomplish things, and instills this faith inside, and this faith is what drives them to do everything. What's more, the more faith they have in one thing, they wonder why they can't have it in another. And this is where they summon the strength. The ironic thing is about some of these people is that they're succeeding also at distracting themselves. Distracting themselves from the reality that it's all going to end. That no matter what careers they reach, what goals they reach, what amazing feats they complete, if there is no God, no reality beyond life, and no existence that has deep meaning, then this life is simply pointless.

I'm beginning to wonder what it is about Christ that gives people such joy and hope. Because they believe so adamantly that Jesus, and what he did, is of such significance and such beauty, that it's an example so powerful that it is the ultimate source of strength for people. The idea that they don't have to fear death because Jesus will give them life. The idea that they don't have to fear God's punishment because Jesus paid the price of damnation. The idea that they don't have to feel pointless because Jesus promises a grand meaning for them that will blow their minds.

So the first question I have is if what they say about Jesus did in fact historically happen, which is what I'm trying to find out, then it's of more importance than anything can be. The only question that plagued my mind was that if Jesus is required to be saved, why wouldn't God make it more plain to people through some kind of miraculous thing? Well if this man's story is true, then perhaps he is doing something to help people. I hope you'll watch this special. It brought me to tears. It will play as one big playlist.

http://www.youtube.com/dogeymon83#p/f/6/b9f2n0xPZ3k
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post #35 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-04-2010, 05:58 PM
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I also feel that way


I can't believe I actually found people who feel the same way I do! It sort of makes me feel better, even if it's just a little bit. Anyway, here's my story.

I'm 18, almost 19 and I have no idea what I want out of life. Well, I might know, but unfortunately it is far too unrealistic under this society's standards. I am currently in College, which I don't give a sh*t about. Why? Because I don't know what to do with it! Everyone keeps telling me how important it is to study in college and getting a degree and a career and a 'future', but I'm afraid that only works for people who are OKAY with giving up what society is asking of them. I don't see a reason to why I should sacrifice so much, there really isn't anything I'm interested in working at or any real career I pursue. My parents keep telling me that I'm doing it for a job and a future, that I shouldn't even think about it right now, but I've been living my life without thinking about where I'm going and just going with the flow for far too long, I'm tired of just hoping for things to happen.

And yet, I don't do anything to change my situation. I just spend the little free time I have left locked up in my room, doing nothing. My friends don't even act like my friends anymore, I barely even see them. They're always telling me how all I ever do is complain and be depressed all day. I try not to, I really do, but sometimes I just can't take it and I try to see if any of them can relate, but they're too busy living what everyone else told them was a life, so they don't understand me.

Sometimes I try to change the way I think about life, trying to see it in a more positive way, to see if that's what's wrong with me, but it never works. I eventually remember why I just can't seem to find meaning in anything and why I feel like I hate the world. The thoughts -I just can't escape them.

And that's pretty much what I do all day. I just think. It's pretty much what I've done my whole life -just think. Though lately I haven't had much time to think, and I've just been living each day for the sake of...I don't know, just doing it, I guess.

In all honesty, if I could truly be myself and do what I really wanted, I guess I'd like to do something related to music. Like have a band or something. It's the only thing I've ever wanted, ever since I was a child. But of course, my parents -and everyone else- told me I couldn't make a living out of that so I ended up following everyone else, and so on. If I could travel all my life, travel and sing, and write and make myself useful, maybe I'd be happier.

But then again, I'm not sure, 'cause I'm not really sure what exactly would make me happy.

I know love would. And friends. But I mean real friends. But everyone's so fake...

I could sit here and 'complain' about everything forever, but I won't. You all have your own problems to take care of, heh. So yeah, that's it. I'm a lonely, unmotivated, uninspired, numb, angry little girl who disagrees with mostly everything society is based on, and is looked at as a crazy, lazy-*ss terrorist who doesn't want to conform to what everyone else is thinking and trying to impose on her. So that makes me weird. And, like I said, crazy.

Maybe I'm just too radical, like, for my traditional little town? Or is that the whole world is just as narrow minded?...And now I feel I am getting off-topic. Please excuse me, I tend to do that. A lot.
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post #36 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-08-2010, 02:56 AM
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I know the feeling too well. I work at a job that I hate, come home, and stay in bed until bedtime. My plan is to get rid of the internet and tv to rid myself of distractions. I'm not much of a reader or video game player either, so I won't be doing those things all day. The ultimate goal is to bore myself enough in order to force myself to leave the house or call up old friends (Which I haven't spoken to in like 4 years).
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post #37 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 06:12 PM
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if you want to change maybe this will help


hey i got to this website looking for ideas to help me figure out what i want to do with my life because im ready to change my life. im 20 yrs old and for the first 18 i was one of the happiest most out going people youd ever meet. i could make people like us happy and lift there spirits. but i liked to party and have my fun on the weekends it was my senior year and i rolled my car with my friend and fell into a pretty big depression it was a big hit to my life. so i started drinking and smoking weed more.. pretty much became a stoner wich didnt help with my life situation. and than about 3 months after that wreck i rolled my friends car in to a irrigation ditch filled with water and we all almost died. i got charged with seven things and was facing alot of jail and fines. but they all got dropped and i got away clean. second chance. and ever since than my life has been a living hell i cant even remember months of my life cause i go into this "zombie" like state were all of my actions come as naturaly as breathing and i just zone out. i sleep for days at a time and dont want to talk to anyone. but one day about 2 or 3 weeks ago i was at the library and saw this rack of free books and figured why not get a book i have nothing else to do (i was waiting for my bus) so i looked through most of them and they were all dumb. but i saw this bright yellow book behind some other one that caught my eye and i pulled it out. its called "the power of positive thinking"

http://self-improvement-ebooks.com/books/tpopt.php

1. Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop this picture. Never think of yourself as failing; never doubt the reality of the mental image. That is most dangerous, for the mind always tries to complete what it pictures. So always picture "success" no matter how badly things seem to be going at the moment.

2. Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal powers comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.

3. Do not built up obstacles in your imagination. Depreciate every so-called obstacle. Minimize them. Difficulties must be studied and efficiently dealt with to be eliminated, but they must be seen for only what they are. They must not be inflated by fear thoughts.

4. Do not be awestruck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as YOU can. Remember also that most people, despite their confident appearance and demeanor, are often as scared as you are and as doubtful of themselves.

5. Ten times a day repeat these dynamic words, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) (Stop reading and repeat them NOW slowly and confidently.)

6. Get a competent counselor to help you understand why you do what you do. Learn the origin of your inferiority and self-doubt feelings which often begin in childhood. Self-knowledge leads to a cure.

7. Ten times each day practice the following affirmation, repeating it out loud if possible. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) Repeat those words NOW. That magic statement is the most powerful antidote on earth to inferiority thoughts.

8. Make a true estimate of your own ability, then raise it 10 percent. Do not become egotistical, but develop a wholesome self-respect. Believe in your own God-released powers.

9. Put yourself in God's hands. To do that simply state, "I am in God's hands." Then believe you are NOW receiving all the power you need. "Feel" it flowing into you. Affirm that "the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:21) in the form of adequate power to meet life's demands.

10. Remind yourself that God is with you and nothing can defeat you. Believe that you now RECEIVE power from him.


im only half way done with this book but its already gotten me off my *** and movin around. im still kinda socially akward but change will come with my independence im hoping. i was litteraly to the point were my mind and body were just trying to die. like i had completely givin up. and this book has some stuff about god wich some of you might not be so happy about but just look past that part if you have to this book is helpful and im ready to move forward again!

PARTY ON WAYNE!
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post #38 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by centrigal06 View Post
I always feel like I should be doing something, but there's nothing really that I'd like to do. I don't really enjoy doing much of anything anymore. Everything I do makes me feel restless. Does anyone else feel that way? I don't want to do nothing, but doing something seems equally as bad. So I spend most of my time alone in my room. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do. I think it's really bothering my roommate too because she has a life and things to do and doesn't understand why I'm hiding in my room all the time. I don't want to hide in my room....I just don't know how to deal with people or life anymore.....nothing makes me happy or maybe happy is too much to expect. I'd just like to be o.k. but nothing makes me feel o.k. I keep thinking about a quote from the movie 'Heathers' that goes "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?" Because in one sense it kind of feels like I'm dead emotionally, but my physical body is still alive so I have to figure out something to do with my life as long as I'm physically still alive. Does that make any sense?
I work at a prison. I don't make that much money atleast it's pertains to my degree. However, I wish I was doing something else but I don't know what else I would be good at. I don't have a answer for you. I also feel college is pretty overrated do what right for you.
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post #39 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-25-2010, 12:03 AM
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Hi guyz..iam too..left with life.


hey hi guyz..i have read all the postings here. same i too relate.. and have going nothing .. after my graduation .. worked for some organizations.. and after my 4 yers. of life after graduation. have become my life.. so .. stubb,,,, anxiety to do something but not understand what to do.. my family has confidence on me than myself.. to success in life.. but what matters is i'm in a situation where not able to decide where to go. what to do.. people started studies with me.. have gone forward in life. settled and working successfully in jobs.. and have happy life. i too have all the same qualities. but i understand my eligibility.. depended on which our life lies on...... decision maker.. makes success life.. everytime i turn to take decision gets backward step what would happen.. if does.. if not do what could be the other result.. always.. wanted to do sme sensible. but .. remains .. sorrow in my life and my wellwishers also...
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post #40 of 325 (permalink) Old 12-25-2010, 01:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbp86 View Post
I know the feeling too well. I work at a job that I hate, come home, and stay in bed until bedtime. My plan is to get rid of the internet and tv to rid myself of distractions. I'm not much of a reader or video game player either, so I won't be doing those things all day. The ultimate goal is to bore myself enough in order to force myself to leave the house or call up old friends (Which I haven't spoken to in like 4 years).
the more and more i think about it, the more i come to the conclusion that technology can have an adverse effect on people suffering from social anxiety. there is less face to face time with people. everything is moving so fast now a days, and as a result, i think that people are more prone to forget how to connect with people (losing the skill). i could be wrong, but it makes sense to me.

"Give me just one moment... Through the eyes of the one in
A picture perfect moment... In the life of the one who is
Something better, more than... Anything i will ever be
Give me just one second... Just to touch what I'll never own
Let me count those feelings... Of love that i will never share
Show me your compassion... In the dark of this world"

Tesseract - Perfection
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