So do I. Literally every day, I ritualistically get rid of all my physical flaws in my head. I visualize the flaw being removed and I analyze how much better I would look if I didn't have it. I can't fantasize about sex, cuddling or any type of physical intimacy if I don't perform this ocd ritual, my sex drive is very low because of this. Before I lost my job, what bothered me was the attention I received about my looks but my flaws themselves only bothered me a little. Now I've become so aware of them and how turned off the women I view as desirable would be by them. What makes it so harsh is that I didn't always have these flaws (ie. stretch marks, chronically dry lips, ) so I have to analyze how much better things could be if I didn't have them, especially if I were smart enough to prevent them from happening in the first place.
I haven't wanted a girlfriend since I was 19-20 years old but I find myself thinking how great it might be to have one.
Everyone tends to be their own worst critic, especially when it comes to physical appearance. I know I sure hate the way I look. It's easy to focus on the things we don't like about ourselves, and then assume that other people will not like those features as much as we do. But I've never had someone point out one of their own "flaws" that they hated and thought "yeah, I can see why they hate that. It bothers me too." Usually they will be self conscious about something that I never even noticed, or actually thought made them more unique and attractive.
The "flaws" that you listed seem like extremely minor/unnoticeable things to me. I think that they are most likely not as big of a deal to other people as you believe they are.
OP - I know how you feel. I've missed out on a lot of opportunities in life due to SA. I think about all the times that I intentionally faded into the background, rather than assert myself and put myself out there. There are a lot of goals that I have in life, and sometimes I feel like I'll never achieve them b/c my SA prevents me from chasing my dreams.
But I don't believe that life has to be this way forever. The root of the problem is SA, and if we work on building up confidence and changing our SA behavior patterns, then everything else will fall into place eventually.
Maybe you can start by making an effort to get to know this guy better. Keep it low pressure (on yourself) and friendly, and see where it goes from there.