Does meeting other awkward people bother you? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 03:36 AM Thread Starter
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Does meeting other awkward people bother you?


I should get along with other anxious or awkward people but I don't, they make me even more uncomfortable and it's harder to talk to them.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 03:47 AM
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Thats pretty unusual
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 05:18 AM
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In the sense that they all seem to be infinitely more functioning and well-adjusted, yes. Depending on the severity, it can be bearable, reduce your quality of life, or completely shut you down. The people that it shuts down are not often seen or heard of, so the ones you end up meeting, even if you are among the less functioning, tend to be the less severe cases. So you supposedly have the same issue but you can't relate to them because, well, theirs hasn't destroyed their prospects.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 05:41 AM
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Idk I think its easier to talk to them.

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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
In the sense that they all seem to be infinitely more functioning and well-adjusted, yes. Depending on the severity, it can be bearable, reduce your quality of life, or completely shut you down. The people that it shuts down are not often seen or heard of, so the ones you end up meeting, even if you are among the less functioning, tend to be the less severe cases. So you supposedly have the same issue but you can't relate to them because, well, theirs hasn't destroyed their prospects.
I think i understand what you mean. I often feel like i cant relate to socially anxious people too, i feel like almost everyone on this site is different to me.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 06:46 AM
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I think i understand what you mean. I often feel like i cant relate to socially anxious people too, i feel like almost everyone on this site is different to me.
Me 3. Maybe my SA was worse and that's why my life is such **** but it does seem like most people on here that are my age are doing far better than me. Every now and then I'll read something that im like wow im glad im not in that place anymore but overall everyone's got a job or going to school. A lot have some dating expirience and what not. But I would love to meet someone with SA in real life.

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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 08:34 AM
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I've notice anxiety is contagious. When I've had bouts of anxiousness around my friends I can actually feel them more on edge/nervous due to my own anxiety. It's strange. Luckily, I am not anxious very often anymore. I guess it does make sense if you are warm/open/calm others will open up to you and be comfortable around you. Don't confuse anxiousness with awkwardness, too.
Awkward people will get along great I think, but if you are awkward because you're anxious that's different.

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 08:39 AM
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I've had good and bad experiences. If they're awkward.with other people but we're comfortable with each other than I feel closer to the person

But there's one person I know that's awkward around me (but still talks to me for some reason) and it's pretty painful lol. Kind of dread talking to that person

a
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:09 AM
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I have yet to meet anyone else as awkward as I am. :/

When I come across other people IRL who seem anxious (never as anxious as I am, though), I have this instinct to be even more patient and outgoing than usual, to put them at ease; it's almost like I become the more "sociable" and talkative one. I'm not sure how successful or not this is, since it's very rare for me to run into such people, and it's always just a one-time only interaction.

Online, when I encounter people who seem almost as anxious as I am, I might try this technique for a bit, but it never works for sustained social interactions, because their anxiety doesn't diminish, and my anxiety overrides my instinct to be more sociable and I start to feel discouraged and suspect they just don't want to be in touch with me, and we end up avoiding each other.


Tl;dr--it's somewhat easier for me to communicate with other awkward people at first, until our combined awkwardness cancels itself out, two like poles repelling each other. :/

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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Witchblade View Post
I should get along with other anxious or awkward people but I don't, they make me even more uncomfortable and it's harder to talk to them.
At first it did. But then I remembered that they were once in a position I was. So I see myself as the expert and one of the few people that can lead them back on path, since I led myself back on the right path.

Understand this, and work with them even if it is just for that short time.

We owe it to eachother. And smile. Even if it's only because you see yourself somewhere you used to be. Or because you know that the other person will just make it out fine :-).
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:22 AM
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At first it did. But then I remembered that they were once in a position I was. So I see myself as the expert and one of the few people that can lead them back on path, since I led myself back on the right path.

Understand this, and work with them even if it is just for that short time.

We owe it to eachother. And smile. Even if it's only because you see yourself somewhere you used to be. Or because you know that the other person will just make it out fine :-).
That's awesome man. Typically when people get better they just forget where they came from. I would be a hypocrite to do that. I applaud you👏

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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:28 AM
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That's awesome man. Typically when people get better they just forget where they came from. I would be a hypocrite to do that. I applaud you👏
It is through eachother, people who have passed what we are currently going through, that we make it through. If we don't pay it forward, i.e., once we are good and see someone who used to be us: but choose not to take a moment to help them as we were once helped...then I reckon our purpose on this world diminishes.
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:30 AM
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It is through eachother, people who have passed what we are currently going through, that we make it through. If we don't pay it forward, i.e., once we are good and see someone who used to be us: but choose not to take a moment to help them as we were once helped...then I reckon our purpose on this world diminishes.
Agreed.

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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:32 AM
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I prefer being around talkative people. Might sound weird but I do prefer it. They balance me out. Since they're the ones that usually initiate conversation and ask me things, I never really have to do it and just reply to whatever they're asking/ saying and ask for the opinion about the same thing they asked me etc. It's easier to bounce off conversations to other ones. I like listening to people talk too so it's less pressure on me to have to keep the conversation going.

I do like talking to quiet people too. I noticed that if a person is more anxious than I am (uncommon but has happened), I kind of step up? I become the one who initiates the conversation and tries to make them feel comfortable. Not completely sure as to why that is.

Meeting other awkward people doesn't really bother me although I haven't met many at all. If anything, it makes me relieved that I'm not going to be the one constantly messing up or that I might be laughed at etc. Less pressure. Also that thing from earlier about wanting to make the other person feel comfortable applies here too. I do so how it might be harder to talk to them, especially if they don't really respond well to what you say or feel so uncomfortable where they are that they make me uncomfortable

This doesn't include people who generally don't want to talk to anyone or have a conversation with me. I can definitely tell the difference. If someone doesn't wanna talk then I'll leave them be, regardless of whether they're outgoing or awkward. It's always awkward trying to keep a convo going that only one person wants to continue

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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:37 AM
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It kinda depends. At my last job I knew several other people who (although I'm not sure they exactly had SA) were pretty quiet and kept to themselves. Out of them I only knew maybe one that I really got along with well. And we only started talking to each other after we'd been working together for a couple of years.

I generally get more annoyed with loud, extroverted people. But that's not necessarily because they're extroverted. It's because they talk more and when someone talks a lot you have a much better idea of what kind of person they are. Most people are kind of obnoxious when you get right down to it. Talky people usually show that side of them right off the bat.

Quiet people are just as obnoxious but you might not know it for years. The main difference is just how much people talk and how open they are when they do.

Sometimes I like obnoxious people if they're obnoxious in a way I can relate to. If they're obnoxious in a way that has been a sore spot for me in the past I tend to not like them at all.

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:14 PM
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It makes me feel less awkward, and relieved that I'm not the only person like that on earth.

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:47 PM
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Anxiety is fine, awkwardness I have difficulties dealing with as that makes me unsure of the conclusions I should draw from the situation.

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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Witchblade View Post
I should get along with other anxious or awkward people but I don't, they make me even more uncomfortable and it's harder to talk to them.
opposite for me, i instantly become comfortable and transform into an extrovert lol
cause I know they're busy being self-conscious
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 09:30 PM
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Anxiety is fine, awkwardness I have difficulties dealing with as that makes me unsure of the conclusions I should draw from the situation.
Me too, man.

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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 06-21-2017, 03:35 AM
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