Does anyone fear going outside for a walk in their neighborhood? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 08:19 AM
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Thats horrible how society has changed from just a couple decades to what its now. But what you say in summary is pretty accurate. As for not fitting in I can understand. I also have problems and have always have had on every level because living as a poor man. Ive read living in poverty changes the brain. I dont understand how people can be content with all the misery and misfortune going on in their lives. Having a social life was pretty non existent for me for all of my life. I never and still have yet to accept myself for who I am and move forward as opposed to being stuck in the past. I also have the same neighbors were I live that have been there for at least 20 years or more. But nosey neighbors I really cant stand and many of them are like that which isn't a good thing.
Yea well the problem is that even the poorest areas in major cities have condos being built, so what is a run-down area now, 5 years from now will have health food supermarkets and hipster cafes and stuff and the property values will increase, all while pricing out the real people. It is hard for me to say I was happier then, because NYC was dangerous back then, and everyone was hassling you for a few bucks, drugs and prostitution were all over. Now, the same area i lived in my whole life, which used to basically be a slum, is filled with Yuppies and people walking down the main streets like it is a fashion show wearing the best name brand preppie clothes. I can't say which people I hate more, but I don't fit in here now at all. I think even if i bent over backwards to dress and talk and act a certain way, i still would be the odd man out. I basically did live in poverty for my entire childhood, but with a few tiny luxuries, my parents had a bungalow in a summer community upstate and were able to rent out part of their house to pay bills etc. My parent's home value skyrocketing is the only thing that made me and my parents be able to afford luxuries now. So I really feel that while i don't have a lot of money, I came from basically poverty to living the lifestyle of a wealthy person. When i walk around town, part of me expects that someone will jump out and mug me or demand money or see drug dealers, but all i see are uptight snobs with tight-fitting clothes and perfect haircuts. I honestly don't know who or what era i hate more. I have gone so far to avoid speaking a word to neighbors that I have not looked any neighbors in the eye in years, have my earbuds in my ears at all times, even when walking in the hallways of my building, and NEVER stop to talk to them even if they are speaking to me, i just say "yea" and keep going. Neighbors are complete annoyances, and it ends up being a lot of talk about the weather and nothing of any value. All neighbors do when BS-ing with you is gathering information to then blab about you later to their friends or other neighbors or relatives. I especially hate neighbors who hang out by the entrance of your building, it is like they are watching me and recording anything unusual so they can then judge me and plot against me (not literally but you get the idea). I don't know how anyone has a good relationship with neighbors, completely pointless The only way i see it as being possible is to mostly talk about the weather and if you plan on going to the park or beach. The tone of everything you say to neighbors always has to be positive, because they are conniving creeps. You can't talk bad about anyone to a neighbor. It is almost like "Oh Hitler? Yea he's not so bad." or "Stalin? eh he is OK" or "Manson? yea he's ok" You literally can't say a bad word about anyone so your only last resort is talking about the weather over and over to the point that i am so bored and annoyed I want to kill myself
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post #42 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 08:23 AM
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post #43 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 08:27 AM
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I did when I started going for walks to the park because I thought people would get suspicious of me and wonder what I was doing, but then I stopped caring as much because a lot of people go for walks on their own. I keep checking behind me to make sure no one is following me, and no one has ever tried to talk to me, which is good. A car honked its horn at me once, which confused me.

When some people were walking towards me once, I turned back and changed which direction I was walking in so I could avoid having to face them, which would have looked weird if they noticed, so I'll try not to do that again.

If I see a hole in the dirt that someone might trip over, I'll try to smooth it with my foot, which is another thing that might look weird, but I won't stop doing that.
I can relate to the anxiety, but as a woman, no one is really suspicious of you in public walking around alone. Me as a guy, and someone who looks suspicious to begin with, I am looked at as way weirder and stranger than any woman, or most other men. As a woman walking in the park, i would be terrified because i mean watch the news, you know? If I was a woman walking in the park, i would only walk in crowded areas during the daylight and probably only weekends, because of the lunatics out there. Anyway, everything else I can relate to though
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post #44 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 08:48 AM
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Yea well the problem is that even the poorest areas in major cities have condos being built, so what is a run-down area now, 5 years from now will have health food supermarkets and hipster cafes and stuff and the property values will increase, all while pricing out the real people. It is hard for me to say I was happier then, because NYC was dangerous back then, and everyone was hassling you for a few bucks, drugs and prostitution were all over. Now, the same area i lived in my whole life, which used to basically be a slum, is filled with Yuppies and people walking down the main streets like it is a fashion show wearing the best name brand preppie clothes. I can't say which people I hate more, but I don't fit in here now at all. I think even if i bent over backwards to dress and talk and act a certain way, i still would be the odd man out. I basically did live in poverty for my entire childhood, but with a few tiny luxuries, my parents had a bungalow in a summer community upstate and were able to rent out part of their house to pay bills etc. My parent's home value skyrocketing is the only thing that made me and my parents be able to afford luxuries now. So I really feel that while i don't have a lot of money, I came from basically poverty to living the lifestyle of a wealthy person. When i walk around town, part of me expects that someone will jump out and mug me or demand money or see drug dealers, but all i see are uptight snobs with tight-fitting clothes and perfect haircuts. I honestly don't know who or what era i hate more. I have gone so far to avoid speaking a word to neighbors that I have not looked any neighbors in the eye in years, have my earbuds in my ears at all times, even when walking in the hallways of my building, and NEVER stop to talk to them even if they are speaking to me, i just say "yea" and keep going. Neighbors are complete annoyances, and it ends up being a lot of talk about the weather and nothing of any value. All neighbors do when BS-ing with you is gathering information to then blab about you later to their friends or other neighbors or relatives. I especially hate neighbors who hang out by the entrance of your building, it is like they are watching me and recording anything unusual so they can then judge me and plot against me (not literally but you get the idea). I don't know how anyone has a good relationship with neighbors, completely pointless The only way i see it as being possible is to mostly talk about the weather and if you plan on going to the park or beach. The tone of everything you say to neighbors always has to be positive, because they are conniving creeps. You can't talk bad about anyone to a neighbor. It is almost like "Oh Hitler? Yea he's not so bad." or "Stalin? eh he is OK" or "Manson? yea he's ok" You literally can't say a bad word about anyone so your only last resort is talking about the weather over and over to the point that i am so bored and annoyed I want to kill myself
damn i feel your pain (hug) and I can relate with just about everything you stated. I avoid neighbors like the plague but at the same time I just say a few words to them. Ive been in the same neighborhood since I was born and the new neighbors I have next to is a drug house. Yet i always think the neighbors attention is on me rather then the crap going on next door to me. Doesnt make sense. FBI, Military, Local law enforement have already been to the drug house several times but luckily it hasnt happened again since a few years. I was always living in poverty or raised poor. At one point I did have luxury and wealthier lifestyles for a certain period of time until I dropped out of university. Everything since then has gone down hill mentally and emotionally. ugh

My doctors liek my sleep specialist, primary care doctor, and caseworker want me to go out for walks. they just dont get it. They dont know how it is it seems with people suffering particularly with sa and or depression.

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post #45 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-10-2020, 02:35 PM
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Sometimes. I'm always anxious about running into a neighbor & they'll want to talk for an hour

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post #46 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-11-2020, 07:57 PM
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damn i feel your pain (hug) and I can relate with just about everything you stated. I avoid neighbors like the plague but at the same time I just say a few words to them. Ive been in the same neighborhood since I was born and the new neighbors I have next to is a drug house. Yet i always think the neighbors attention is on me rather then the crap going on next door to me. Doesnt make sense. FBI, Military, Local law enforement have already been to the drug house several times but luckily it hasnt happened again since a few years. I was always living in poverty or raised poor. At one point I did have luxury and wealthier lifestyles for a certain period of time until I dropped out of university. Everything since then has gone down hill mentally and emotionally. ugh

My doctors liek my sleep specialist, primary care doctor, and caseworker want me to go out for walks. they just dont get it. They dont know how it is it seems with people suffering particularly with sa and or depression.
Not that it is an easy situation, but in a way, as long as you are safe, it doesn't matter if you are next to a drug house or Mr. Belvedere, you still basically want to avoid any interaction with neighbors, you know. It is just too close to home, never get involved with people living near you. I would always have your earbuds or headphones in, and if someone stops you, just mumble something and keep walking, don't stop for anyone and don't make eye contact. Especially if you have drugs in your area. I dunno, if you must socialize somewhere around you, it should be at least one town over. I have so little faith in people that I have given up on socializing.

Growing up, I was maybe one step up from poverty. I live the lifestyle of a rich person now in many ways, but i am not any happier than i was. I have snuck into $100,000 of seats in all the major sports games in New York City and gone to the best movies theatres and concerts, but I honestly don't even care much, and still feel worthless and like a loser. I am lucky on some level, but really be careful what you wish for. I was alone the last 9 years mostly so it often feels like i am in solitary confinement with a few luxuries. A few of the women i dated in recent years, they all left me, but i would honestly trade whatever perks i have now or lifestyle pretty much to have them back in my life.

I hate going for walks and I am convinced everyone thinks i am a creep or criminal or homeless or crazy, or some combination of those things. So for me it isn't just my inability to deal with people or interact with them, I am convinced they hate me for a variety of reasons. I also due to bad experiences in my past with basically everyone i dealt with, have no sympathy for anyone or faith that good people even exist anymore, so i kinda hate everyone
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post #47 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-11-2020, 09:02 PM
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No, I won't do that. Especially now.

My mom and neighbors had an intense scolding and arguments a few days ago. I usually don't involve in any conflict even if someone insults me or scolds me. Even if someone insults me or scold me, I mostly want to make peace with them.

But I get angry when there is a fight between my family and others. Even this is so rare.

But I got involved in this and called them "bi*ch" and other rude words. They used similar words as well.

Now, its been 3 days. But I'm thinking about it all day. I can't sleep or eat. Now I want to leave my home badly
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post #48 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-12-2020, 01:41 AM
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Not that it is an easy situation, but in a way, as long as you are safe, it doesn't matter if you are next to a drug house or Mr. Belvedere, you still basically want to avoid any interaction with neighbors, you know. It is just too close to home, never get involved with people living near you. I would always have your earbuds or headphones in, and if someone stops you, just mumble something and keep walking, don't stop for anyone and don't make eye contact. Especially if you have drugs in your area. I dunno, if you must socialize somewhere around you, it should be at least one town over. I have so little faith in people that I have given up on socializing.

Growing up, I was maybe one step up from poverty. I live the lifestyle of a rich person now in many ways, but i am not any happier than i was. I have snuck into $100,000 of seats in all the major sports games in New York City and gone to the best movies theatres and concerts, but I honestly don't even care much, and still feel worthless and like a loser. I am lucky on some level, but really be careful what you wish for. I was alone the last 9 years mostly so it often feels like i am in solitary confinement with a few luxuries. A few of the women i dated in recent years, they all left me, but i would honestly trade whatever perks i have now or lifestyle pretty much to have them back in my life.

I hate going for walks and I am convinced everyone thinks i am a creep or criminal or homeless or crazy, or some combination of those things. So for me it isn't just my inability to deal with people or interact with them, I am convinced they hate me for a variety of reasons. I also due to bad experiences in my past with basically everyone i dealt with, have no sympathy for anyone or faith that good people even exist anymore, so i kinda hate everyone
Ive been living alone for about seven years and I hate it but I also im neutral about it. I cant even feel comfortable with my own relatives being in the place im in. Its really sad and worrisome that im afraid ill lose them. Wishing I had many girlfriends for decades is something I wished and Its just really weird people seem like theyre jealous of you but also hate you. At least most people Ive been in touch with whether at work or university. Ive always had mistrust in people even sadly with family. Ive never had issues hating people but its amplified and spiraled out of control where i get suspicious.

Im always thinking neighbors or people think I look suspicious when I feel at the same time suspicious of them. Always some mind reading and fortune telling going on with people and mostly neighbors where I live. I really dont like nosey neighbors its not only annoying but distressful having to worry about what theyre thinking about you. Ive always also been a worry wort to the point of excessively trying to cope and fight the feelings.

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post #49 of 54 (permalink) Old 09-18-2020, 07:08 PM
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Yes. I have a dog that requires daily walks. Neighbors usually stare, talk about stupid things, think I'm a weirdo because I'm so introverted. It's honestly preventing me from enjoying life on some days. Up until recently I thought that I needed to force myself to talk when a neighbor would initiate a conversation for the sake of my parents. But just recently I've been learning to relax and just keep on moving. I get this almost dissociated feeling when leaving the house, but I feel like I need to because agoraphobia isn't a fun trait.
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post #50 of 54 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 10:34 AM
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Ive been living alone for about seven years and I hate it but I also im neutral about it. I cant even feel comfortable with my own relatives being in the place im in. Its really sad and worrisome that im afraid ill lose them. Wishing I had many girlfriends for decades is something I wished and Its just really weird people seem like theyre jealous of you but also hate you. At least most people Ive been in touch with whether at work or university. Ive always had mistrust in people even sadly with family. Ive never had issues hating people but its amplified and spiraled out of control where i get suspicious.

Im always thinking neighbors or people think I look suspicious when I feel at the same time suspicious of them. Always some mind reading and fortune telling going on with people and mostly neighbors where I live. I really dont like nosey neighbors its not only annoying but distressful having to worry about what theyre thinking about you. Ive always also been a worry wort to the point of excessively trying to cope and fight the feelings.
Yea I am also pretty neutral about it, the enemy for me is going out and seeing all the "happy couples" and "friends all hanging out" and being exposed to everyone and everything that i am missing out on, in a way. I am Ok with my parents visiting here, but that is about it, don't like almost any of my other relatives or in-laws and no desire to have contact with any of them due to them being boring or robots or annoying. Women i dated in the past, when they told me, i was with this guy for 10 years or married for 14 years, i was like jealous of that, and they always said it matter-of-factly. I am jealous of the idea of someone having a bond with someone for that many years. It feels very foreign to me. From what i have seen and heard, after a few years sex becomes less and less and arguments and bitterness. At the same time, i do still feel i missed out. I do hate 99% of people, but most of them are not exactly deserving of my hate, they are just dumbly and blindly wandering through life as morons, so they more annoy me than deserve actual hatred, you know? If someone did come along who I liked who was trustworthy, I am so conditioned to have walls up i would just reject them like the rest anyway.

I think people are suspicious of me where they think i am a threat to rob them or commit a violent act. The way I am suspicious of them is more along the lines of me wanting to keep my distance and avoid conversations with them. i want to be invisible. The real danger with neighbors is that if you like admit that you like cheese, even THAT becomes too revealing and all of sudden one neighbor says "did you hear that wacko likes cheese?" and then the other neighbor says "who the hell is he to like cheese? What is he bigger or better than fruit or vegetables?" and now I am public enemy #1 for liking cheese. My point is anything you every tell a neighbor is ammunition for them blabbing to you to someone else and twisting your words around.
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post #51 of 54 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 10:51 PM
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I'm nervous walking outside any neighborhood. After a black car rammed the public sidewalk to stop me and my friend in 2006.. I feel weird walking anywhere. The two white cops made a big scene in my old neighborhood and question my friend about me trying to hide a knife. The white cops told me they saw me putting a knife in my pocket? How can the cops mistaken a blue Texas Algebra Calculator as a knife?

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post #52 of 54 (permalink) Old Today, 08:47 AM
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I'm nervous walking outside any neighborhood. The white cops told me they saw me putting a knife in my pocket? How can the cops mistaken a blue Texas Algebra Calculator as a knife?
yeah i get the feeling that some people can just be jerks and sometimes insensitive to mess with you which isnt right of course.

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post #53 of 54 (permalink) Old Today, 10:38 AM
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yeah i get the feeling that some people can just be jerks and sometimes insensitive to mess with you which isnt right of course.

I didn't know what to do in that situation, because I was just 14 years old at the time. I don't why the cops are telling my friend to not lie about me threatening him. All I cared about at the time was playing video games and talking about video games.

Five years later, I ended up encountering my cousin calling the cops on me about having a knife. The cops gang up on me inside my aunt's house and curse me for no apparent reason.

I'm psychologically traumatized by people behavior. That's all from my unusual childhood experiences from school, and online experiences.

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post #54 of 54 (permalink) Old Today, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CopadoMexicano View Post
yeah i get the feeling that some people can just be jerks and sometimes insensitive to mess with you which isnt right of course.

I didn't know what to do in that situation, because I was just 14 years old at the time. I don't why the cops are telling my friend to not lie about me threatening him. All I cared about at the time was playing video games and talking about video games.

Five years later, I ended up encountering my cousin calling the cops on me about having a knife. The cops gang up on me inside my aunt's house and curse me for no apparent reason.

I'm psychologically traumatized by people behavior. That's all from my unusual childhood experiences from school, and online experiences.
Be thankful they didn't shoot you and then plant something on you.

Idk what it is, but people love to accuse people like us of all kinds of crazy nonsense and love to try and get us in trouble for things we didn't do. Idk where it comes from? I think it's a form of bullying. I can tell when people know they're being disingenuous and cruel and I can see that in people when they're doing this.
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