Originally Posted by CopadoMexicano
damn i feel your pain (hug) and I can relate with just about everything you stated. I avoid neighbors like the plague but at the same time I just say a few words to them. Ive been in the same neighborhood since I was born and the new neighbors I have next to is a drug house. Yet i always think the neighbors attention is on me rather then the crap going on next door to me. Doesnt make sense. FBI, Military, Local law enforement have already been to the drug house several times but luckily it hasnt happened again since a few years. I was always living in poverty or raised poor. At one point I did have luxury and wealthier lifestyles for a certain period of time until I dropped out of university. Everything since then has gone down hill mentally and emotionally. ugh
My doctors liek my sleep specialist, primary care doctor, and caseworker want me to go out for walks. they just dont get it. They dont know how it is it seems with people suffering particularly with sa and or depression.
Not that it is an easy situation, but in a way, as long as you are safe, it doesn't matter if you are next to a drug house or Mr. Belvedere, you still basically want to avoid any interaction with neighbors, you know. It is just too close to home, never get involved with people living near you. I would always have your earbuds or headphones in, and if someone stops you, just mumble something and keep walking, don't stop for anyone and don't make eye contact. Especially if you have drugs in your area. I dunno, if you must socialize somewhere around you, it should be at least one town over. I have so little faith in people that I have given up on socializing.
Growing up, I was maybe one step up from poverty. I live the lifestyle of a rich person now in many ways, but i am not any happier than i was. I have snuck into $100,000 of seats in all the major sports games in New York City and gone to the best movies theatres and concerts, but I honestly don't even care much, and still feel worthless and like a loser. I am lucky on some level, but really be careful what you wish for. I was alone the last 9 years mostly so it often feels like i am in solitary confinement with a few luxuries. A few of the women i dated in recent years, they all left me, but i would honestly trade whatever perks i have now or lifestyle pretty much to have them back in my life.
I hate going for walks and I am convinced everyone thinks i am a creep or criminal or homeless or crazy, or some combination of those things. So for me it isn't just my inability to deal with people or interact with them, I am convinced they hate me for a variety of reasons. I also due to bad experiences in my past with basically everyone i dealt with, have no sympathy for anyone or faith that good people even exist anymore, so i kinda hate everyone