Does anyone fear going outside for a walk in their neighborhood? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 05:22 PM
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Not really. I live downtown so there's always a flurry of people with a lot of anonymity - No one's taken the time to say hello or stop me to talk like they did when I was in the burbs.

It's both good and bad. Sometimes I enjoy the unexpected socialization.
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post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 07:14 PM
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I suppose it depends on the time of day, people tend to be working on their yards or sitting on the stoop to smoke, kids will be playing in the front yards & street, people walking their dogs too...we live two blocks from a mall so itís a little bit of through way, though not a busy one. I donít know all the neighbours but Iíd nod & say hi to some. If I wanted to walk & it was busy out front Iíd just go out the back. In general yes it would make me a little anxious
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post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 07:19 PM
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Just throw in your earbuds. Then no one will bother you. I got for walks / jogs almost every day and hardly anyone ever tries to talk to me, except to ask for directions now and again.

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post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-22-2020, 05:54 PM
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I'm afraid of going outside in general. Being visible for me means being judged.
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post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-23-2020, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Paul View Post
I fear it anytime near rush hours, and I pretty much stay in on weekends because more people are out then. But I walk around the neighborhood at other times when the chances of encountering anyone are slim.
For a bunch of years now, I plan me going out as much as possible during strange hours like weekdays before 4PM. Weekends are a disaster and crowds are everywhere but I am in NYC so it is even more congested. The thing is, it makes logical sense, but at the same time, it is a direct response to dealing with idiots and jerks. The more crowded things are, the more chance someone tries to confront you or start drama. I am not afraid but I have my earphones on and head down at all times anyway. People try to target loners, teenagers are the worst often. It is the same as the animal kingdom where the loner animal gets targeted and attacked. i think it is still just mainly that I hate 95% of people and when there are less people around, i feel less hostility around me in general
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post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-23-2020, 10:15 PM
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We have a neighbor who likes to sit on his lawn chair outside his garage door, it always anxiety provoking when I go past him because he likes to strike up a conversation or wave as you go by.
I hate people, generally older, who sit outside on their stoop in silence and watch people walk by. I have no problem if they read a paper or book or listen to their headphones, i just hate when they sit in silence for like hours and stare at me, I can almost feel the hatred directed at me, or at the very least the judgment. I always have my headphones in, but people like that, if you must get into a conversation, are never really themselves, all they seem to talk about is the damn weather over and over. Even if i didn't have anxiety about that, the conversations you end up in are so damn boring and never seem to go anywhere past "weather, park, beach, going upstate" and the weather being nice is connected to everything. i want to complain about things or get into long conversations about life, if i ever am forced to interact, but no one wants to do that.
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post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-23-2020, 10:30 PM
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ive always worried about leaving my house but i did it anyway since childhood but what made it worse was living in the ghetto. The early to mid 90s was different then it is now. There were a lot of thugs and cholos at the time. I dont even remember how to say cholo in english ugh. but i kind of miss the early 90s and early 2000s. Those were my perfect years as everything else seemed much more laid back. Today, I'm always anticipating to make a choice for half the day whether or not I should just go to drive to grocery store. Now walking in my neighborhood I avoid like the plague so instead I walk indoors im lucky enough to have a large house to walk around and achieve my steps. Might not be as stimulating environment as going to the park or neighborhood but Im too concerned about being watched, judged, followed, and what people think.
I never had much of a social life for most of my life, with a few exceptions, but the 90's and early 2000's were great. I didn't party much or have a ton of fun I guess, but i was in Brooklyn NY and there was a sense of community and danger combined. You had candy stores with video game arcade games (the giant cabinets) then you had a ton of beggars or just poor kids asking for a dollar every minute. If you saw a kid getting beat up, you just walked by like "whatever" If you saw a mugging, you just kinda accepted that was how it was. Everything where i lived then was mixed, poor people could afford it but rich people were also peppered in and everyone was vastly different in every way. You had artists and jugglers and writers who were all struggling but getting by and they were REAL PEOPLE. Now it seems like New York City is getting richer and richer and the differences between poor and rich are more pronounced, which is I am sure the same in Los Angeles Chicago, London, etc. from what I have read, you can't really meet fascinating or unique people anymore, it is like they were either priced out of the area or they overdosed on drugs or they were killed or went to jail or who the hell knows where they went. The people you see maybe 2005 and on, in any of those previous vibrant communities are now just boring and stale. They might have a $1500 gym membership with a personal trainer, they have 2% bodyfat and eat whole wheat everything and no sugar or everything organic. They do yoga, travel to weird locations to meditate, go hiking upstate, have a summer home and eat out at fancy restaurants. The residents before 2005 maybe just ate fast food, sprayed graffiti, lit firecrackers, got drunk out of their minds at the local bars, shoplifted, maybe hired hookers (I am against that and never would), smoked cigarettes and/or weed, hung out at arcades, rode motorcycles, illegal street racing or steal cars and go on joyrides, just people looking for a thrill. Construction workers and painters going to pro sports games and getting drunk out of their minds and cursing at the players and fighting in the stands. I am in a 600 sq foot apartment and i am judged at this point for not looking or dressing or acting like the elitist residents here, so it is a huge struggle to fit in as much as ever. Because I did not get girls much back then or ever in my life for the most part, or ever have much of a social life, i can't say i love that time either, but it was better in many ways.
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post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-23-2020, 10:38 PM
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Yes, I've had trouble with my neighbors across the road. I don't even want to spend time in my yard because they might try to interact with me. Have a repair man coming over today to work on something outside. The husband is nosy so worry he'll not be able to resist coming over.
I hate all my neighbors by default and if I ever talked to any for 5 minutes, it is all confirmed. They are mostly jerks or nosy. Or they see me as the loner and want to try to psycho-analyze why I don't have a girlfriend or any friends. Or wrack their brains trying to figure out why i am not like them. Maybe because i don't want to be and they all bore me to tears. I avoid interaction with neighbors so much at this point that if Haley's comet landed in my street out front and a neighbor said to me "did you see that?" I would just ignore them and walk around the disaster and go on with my day. The less i talk to any neighbors, the way i see it, the less i will have problems with them. I wouldn't even let neighbors know that i shower and brush my teeth at this point. If a neighbor ever asked me, "I am just curious, do you wake up and take a shower and brush your teeth?" I would say, "sorry that information is classified"
It is like I am in hiding, or in the mafia or C.I.A. but all i am really trying to do is hide from nosy moronic idiots all day long
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post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-24-2020, 04:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
I never had much of a social life for most of my life, with a few exceptions, but the 90's and early 2000's were great. I didn't party much or have a ton of fun I guess, but i was in Brooklyn NY and there was a sense of community and danger combined. You had candy stores with video game arcade games (the giant cabinets) then you had a ton of beggars or just poor kids asking for a dollar every minute. If you saw a kid getting beat up, you just walked by like "whatever" If you saw a mugging, you just kinda accepted that was how it was. Everything where i lived then was mixed, poor people could afford it but rich people were also peppered in and everyone was vastly different in every way. You had artists and jugglers and writers who were all struggling but getting by and they were REAL PEOPLE. Now it seems like New York City is getting richer and richer and the differences between poor and rich are more pronounced, which is I am sure the same in Los Angeles Chicago, London, etc. from what I have read, you can't really meet fascinating or unique people anymore, it is like they were either priced out of the area or they overdosed on drugs or they were killed or went to jail or who the hell knows where they went. The people you see maybe 2005 and on, in any of those previous vibrant communities are now just boring and stale. They might have a $1500 gym membership with a personal trainer, they have 2% bodyfat and eat whole wheat everything and no sugar or everything organic. They do yoga, travel to weird locations to meditate, go hiking upstate, have a summer home and eat out at fancy restaurants. The residents before 2005 maybe just ate fast food, sprayed graffiti, lit firecrackers, got drunk out of their minds at the local bars, shoplifted, maybe hired hookers (I am against that and never would), smoked cigarettes and/or weed, hung out at arcades, rode motorcycles, illegal street racing or steal cars and go on joyrides, just people looking for a thrill. Construction workers and painters going to pro sports games and getting drunk out of their minds and cursing at the players and fighting in the stands. I am in a 600 sq foot apartment and i am judged at this point for not looking or dressing or acting like the elitist residents here, so it is a huge struggle to fit in as much as ever. Because I did not get girls much back then or ever in my life for the most part, or ever have much of a social life, i can't say i love that time either, but it was better in many ways.
Thats horrible how society has changed from just a couple decades to what its now. But what you say in summary is pretty accurate. As for not fitting in I can understand. I also have problems and have always have had on every level because living as a poor man. Ive read living in poverty changes the brain. I dont understand how people can be content with all the misery and misfortune going on in their lives. Having a social life was pretty non existent for me for all of my life. I never and still have yet to accept myself for who I am and move forward as opposed to being stuck in the past. I also have the same neighbors were I live that have been there for at least 20 years or more. But nosey neighbors I really cant stand and many of them are like that which isn't a good thing.

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post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-24-2020, 05:43 AM
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I like to go out early in the morning or take a more quiet route, like the walking trails outdoor.
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post #31 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-25-2020, 02:53 AM
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I did when I started going for walks to the park because I thought people would get suspicious of me and wonder what I was doing, but then I stopped caring as much because a lot of people go for walks on their own. I keep checking behind me to make sure no one is following me, and no one has ever tried to talk to me, which is good. A car honked its horn at me once, which confused me.

When some people were walking towards me once, I turned back and changed which direction I was walking in so I could avoid having to face them, which would have looked weird if they noticed, so I'll try not to do that again.

If I see a hole in the dirt that someone might trip over, I'll try to smooth it with my foot, which is another thing that might look weird, but I won't stop doing that.

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post #32 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-25-2020, 06:14 AM
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Put on headphones and try to zone out and go for a stroll
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post #33 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-26-2020, 09:57 AM
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Strangle no I can't really say why though. I really don't have a problem with walking through my neighborhood and it's not even that good of neighborhood to begin with.

I think I would have more anxiety from walking around in my mall.
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post #34 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-26-2020, 12:31 PM
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Hi. Can I tell you something. Here's the honest truth. People are so busy and distracted by their own lives they don't have time to think about you and if someone does say something, ask yourself, is what that person saying really true and does it matter? Our thoughts tell us everyones watching me, they'll laugh at me, they're judging me etc. That creates feelings of anxiety in us. When I start to think someone is looking at me, I just remind myself, they are distracted by their phones and the people they are with and so on to pay mind to me. Go for your walk, you have every right to

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post #35 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 12:08 PM
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After getting infected myself with corona I have to admit I feel quite nervous about going out; but still after being isolated for about a month because of it, I kind of feel the urge to go out. I guess I have conflicted feelings right now.
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post #36 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Captainmycaptain View Post
I want to go on a fifteen walk around my neighborhood, but it gets me stressed thinking about it and I stay home. I am worried that neighbors will be outside and I'll have to say "hello" to them or they will be watching and discussing me from their homes when I walk. Or I will make them nervous as I pass by or they will confront me and ask who I am and what I'm doing.
Yes. This is why I feel much more at ease when I'm walking outside my neighborhood.
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post #37 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-27-2020, 04:31 PM
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I sometimes jog through my neighborhood to minimize the chance of running into someone I know, haha. If I have time to go on a long walk there's a small public forest that almost never has anybody in it, though there are plenty of mosquitoes.
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post #38 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-28-2020, 07:53 AM
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I used to LOVE walking and running in the neighbourhood but silly me would go at 1-2 am. Nothing happened at those times but thinking back, it was pretty dangerous. I hated doing it in the day because I always got unwanted attention ..people staring, honking, guys screaming things out of the car. I wish I lived in a safe neighbourhood, I kinda miss the night walks.

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post #39 of 49 (permalink) Old 08-28-2020, 08:37 AM
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I don't fear it like I once did, but it depends on my mental state. The height of the pandemic when places were closed, I jogged around the neighborhood almost daily.

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post #40 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-08-2020, 09:13 PM
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No I donít. Iím the lunatic people should fear. *evil laugh* (jk)
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