Does Anyone else hate phones this much? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 02:27 AM Thread Starter
Mattie Sanstheworld
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Does Anyone else hate phones this much?

I hate phones a lot more than any other type of social interaction.

I prefer IRL interaction a 100x more because I can read people's facial expression and tone, and use my hands and I think they also read my lips sometimes (and f*ng phones clip a lot of audio frequencies anyway). I rely so much on "micro" stuff (don't remember what it's called), the actual words I say often are just gibberish that people can't decipher.

Text and email are a lot better too. You can re-write things a 100 times before sending them.


I can't imagine how most people see phone calls as the most convenient way of communication. Especially if it's someone you're not used to or know very well or at all.

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 04:16 AM
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Um, yeah, I hate phones. I've had to talk to a lot of people lately about the problems I'm having in my basement and it hasn't been fun. I'm also nocturnal, and everyone else is up during the day, so when people do call, it interrupts what little sleep I do manage to get. But nothing is worse than video conferencing.

I prefer text, but in-person is the next best thing. I think it's because in person I don't actually have to look someone in the face to talk to them like I do on a video call. And they don't have to look at me. We can both just sort of look around and listen to each other. But they're also not really focusing exclusively on the sound of my voice either. It's more diffused in a way. It's the intense scrutiny of my appearance or the sound of my voice that bothers me. In person there's always other stuff going on at the same time to distract them. Idk, I'm still trying to understand why I rank things this way myself. (Text -> in person -> phone -> video.)

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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 04:26 AM
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You're not alone, though I'm a lot less able to articulate why I hate speaking on the phone/voice comms so much. The only thing I can think of that's worse is webcams.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 01:43 PM
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Yeah I don't like how you can't have silences and the entire focus is on you. I mean maybe not if you're in a conference call or something but in your average one on one phone call. I prefer texts/online communication when it comes to most people, and most people my age do too I think. The only person I talk to on the phone now is my dad.

If I don't constantly respond on the phone my dad is like 'are you still there?'

I don't really need to hear people's voice unless they have an attractive voice and I'm attracted to them or something.

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 03:53 PM
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i will avoid making phone calls for appointments etc (i haven't made an appointment for years).

sometimes i like to chat on the phone quite a bit with one of two friends i would be comfortable talking to, though not very often, and not initiated by me. more common is i just have nothing to say and the whole thing is a chore and i put them off from calling me ever again.

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 04:09 PM
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I go places in person sometimes to avoid making a phone call. Like drive to a pizza restaurant, order inside, then go wait in the car until it's ready. Never done any kind of video calling, but that sounds even worse.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 04:43 PM
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I'm getting to the stage where I hate every type of interaction ... text is probably my favorite, short & to the point.

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Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 06:26 PM
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I hate 1 on 1 in general. I'm much much better in a group interaction. Even if its just 3 people. Well that's in person, I'm TERRIBLE at conference calls, especially when I have to present something to the group. On the phone I'm actually better 1 on 1 lol. Not sure why. I still don't like it and I'm not that great at it but I'm better at that than conference calls.

So I mostly just suck at basically all verbal communication. That's the long and the short of it I guess.

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 06:33 PM
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It's making and receiving phone calls that I despise, It should be easy enough but I overcomplicate it, with anxiety I just miss the whole thing so I have to ask the person to repeat themselves, or I slur words. I prefer texting when possible, it gives me time to think and reply instead of doing it on the spot. I do find having a cell phone handy for directions or surfing the web if I'm needing to know the weather or news, etc.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 09:02 PM
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Made the mistake of holding my phone too close to my ear and its causing issues inside my ears so there's 1 reason I dislike them. 2. People who don't know how to text, calling me. 3. Having to keep it on for emergencies, 4. Annoying Scam calls. They are a necessary evil, I need them for emergencies and keep up with friends who I can't talk to openly on the house phone. I hate taking the initiative with texting and making calls. Would I prefer to see them in person, I do. I feel the same way as you op but I have come to rely on it too much.

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 12:29 PM
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One day we will hate telepathy. I hate how people get into my head to talk to me without asking first. Cause knocking would kind of hurt i imagine.

I'm sure back in the day people used to hate smoke signals or carrier pigeons. Look at james again with his smoke signals darkening the sky. And those god damned pigeons keep ****ting on my balcony.

I kind of hate phones but i like mine for playing games on it and music etc. I just hate it when you visit family and they are always on those phones every 2 seconds. But it's kind of nice out in waiting rooms or public transport though. Everyone is on their phones and not paying attention to me.

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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:58 PM
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I definitely prefer writing and I often think my written communication is better than my verbal speak. I can take my time writing my thoughts down and consider the other person's feelings.

Phone calls are too complicated because just like when doing anything related to public speaking.... you only get one shot. Once you screw up ONE time, that's all people need to write you off as a creep or inept.

Say the wrong thing and people get all combative and try to correct you. Yet we're supposed to be "normal" like them to appease their standards—only if we say what they want to hear.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 05:00 PM
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I hate talking to people on the phone, but am fond of texting.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 03:06 PM
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I am not a fan of phones. I am not a fan of music fans recording performances with their arms in the air.
Anyway, like other things, they can have their use but they are overly misused.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 07:10 PM
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-28-2020, 03:44 AM
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I second on the points of the lack of being able to use facial expressions and body languages. Why with phone interviews, I usually do horribly for these reasons. All communication is strictly base on words and tone of the your voice. One slip up on verbal eloquence could be a huge impact.

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 11-28-2020, 06:34 PM
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I hate it too. I spent about 30 minutes yesterday just trying to figure out how to increase the volume of my ring tone. Haha
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