Does anybody ever feel like they are being tortured? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-01-2011, 11:24 PM Thread Starter
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Does anybody ever feel like they are being tortured?


Is it just me or is anybody else feel like they are being tortured? I am not talking about physical, but mentally. Constant thoughts of pain, this **** is killing me.
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post #2 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 01:16 AM
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I feel the same way - I get so sick of this constant beating/battering life throws at me. Even when you think you can enjoy a moment of peace, a thought/a noise/a memory can throw you back into that tortune cell.
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post #3 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 01:26 AM
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no.

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post #4 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 01:36 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by victoriangirl View Post
I feel the same way - I get so sick of this constant beating/battering life throws at me. Even when you think you can enjoy a moment of peace, a thought/a noise/a memory can throw you back into that tortune cell.
Exactly how I feel.
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post #5 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 02:10 AM
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Let me rephrase: I think to be tortured is a deliberate act (I know as a definition it can just mean 'anguish', but that's torture, not being tortured, as stated). I don't feel like anyone is deliberately making me suffer anxiety. I feel it is simply an anxiety, a fear, like any fear. It just happens to be social situations, and personal situations with people, as opposed to being scared of flying or heights or open spaces. I deal with it. It's not as if I like it, or that it doesn't effect me. It does, massively. But I don't feel like I am being tortured, as such.

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post #6 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 02:11 AM
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YES! man it's hard....
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post #7 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 08:13 AM
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Yes. Daily. Permanently. Every second I am alive. It almost seems like I am deteriorating. Mostly because of the harsh reality I am forced to live with. People who look at me think I am happy and fine with the way things are, with the world, but this is totally untrue. The no compromising. No agreements made. No understanding. No chance. Only regret. I envy happy people. No I envy everyone. Because of the ignorance and if I could I would make everyone in the world suffer for the misery I've endured and continue to endure. I find myself agonizing about things every single second I'm awake. Why is 'this' happening? When will 'this' change? so it's like I'm just too caught up in everything that I just let it walk over me. Maybe to suffer is just natural to some like me. I scan people and I can pick up vibes about their lives and if I pick up vibes of happiness and contentment I get angry at myself. How am I making it through though? How am I avoiding this? How am I managing to resist so well if nothing will matter?

Crazy I know, but this is how I feel (and will feel) for the rest of my existance and beyond.
This. This is exactly how I feel. Especially when people think that you're ahppy, just because you're smiling. But that means nothing, that's just me trying to forget how depressed I am.
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post #8 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 09:52 AM
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I often feel mental anguish with physical symptoms such as headaches and disorientation. It's like someone is sticking small needles in my head It must be even worse for homeless people who are treated with complete indifference.

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post #9 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 10:02 AM
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Yes. I'm thoroughly convinced God is just trolling me at this point.
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post #10 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 10:55 AM
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One side of my brain ties up & pokes the otherside until he tires & falls asleep then the tortured side breaks free while he is sleeping ties him up & returns the favor, the cycle is unending
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post #11 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Jcoj613 View Post
Is it just me or is anybody else feel like they are being tortured? I am not talking about physical, but mentally. Constant thoughts of pain, this **** is killing me.
If i don;t keep my mind busy for like 8-10 hours my thoughts become too ugly, desperate to the point of commiting...well, u know. I got to keep busy all the time. Distract my brain attention or ...else

I'm not thinking what am I doing with my life, but what life is doing with me !
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post #12 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 07:22 PM
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Yes. Sometimes I think about hell, but then I think, well I'm allready being tortured, so if I did end up there I'd be prepared for it...
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post #13 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-02-2011, 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Jcoj613 View Post
Is it just me or is anybody else feel like they are being tortured? I am not talking about physical, but mentally. Constant thoughts of pain, this **** is killing me.
yes and it's killing me too i feel like i'm never going to get over this
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post #14 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 09:29 AM
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Yes this life is like torture, everyday. don't know how i've come this far
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post #15 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 09:34 AM
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Yes. The biggest issue for me is I don't know anyone else with SA personally and everyone else seems to have so much luck in life bar me, if we were all in the same boat of crap it would be easier.
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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 05:44 PM
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Definitely!
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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 05:52 PM
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During the day,I keep the demons at bay,but when I try to sleep at night,there is no peace. At night I'm afraid of my life and what's to come.

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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by thequietmanuk View Post
Yes. The biggest issue for me is I don't know anyone else with SA personally and everyone else seems to have so much luck in life bar me, if we were all in the same boat of crap it would be easier.
Same with me. Being miserable is so much worse when everyone around you seems to be perfectly content with their lives. Don't get me wrong, I realize that those people have their problems too; everyone does. I just feel like most people's problems are external, while mine are almost entirely internal. My very problem is me, who I am. It seems like most of my problems are tied to my very existence. Does it mean that they can't be overcome? No, but it does mean that I have to constantly battle myself and that is incredibly draining. With all the energy I use fighting my internal battles, it barely leaves anything left for dealing with the outside world. So, am I being tortured? In a sense, yes. I almost feel like I'm torturing myself.
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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 06:37 PM
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Same with me. Being miserable is so much worse when everyone around you seems to be perfectly content with their lives. Don't get me wrong, I realize that those people have their problems too; everyone does. I just feel like most people's problems are external, while mine are almost entirely internal. My very problem is me, who I am. It seems like most of my problems are tied to my very existence. Does it mean that they can't be overcome? No, but it does mean that I have to constantly battle myself and that is incredibly draining. With all the energy I use fighting my internal battles, it barely leaves anything left for dealing with the outside world. So, am I being tortured? In a sense, yes. I almost feel like I'm torturing myself.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 05-05-2011, 12:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Still Waters View Post
During the day,I keep the demons at bay,but when I try to sleep at night,there is no peace. At night I'm afraid of my life and what's to come.
Yeah, I feel the same way and it really makes it hard to sleep.
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