Do you prefer other people to be straightforward and honest or not? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 05:38 AM Thread Starter
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Do you prefer other people to be straightforward and honest or not?


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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 09:25 AM
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Yes I like honesty. I dont have time for games. And yuck? What are we in middle school
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 03:08 PM
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I do like honesty but there's a time and place. I prefer people to be diplomatic.

Plus of course you never tell a woman her bottom looks big. (unless that's what she wants)
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
@aqwsderf It wasn't exactly yuck but it did have a negative connotation. I didn't mind , the other one said I looked good :-D
Oh good! I dont get why people need to talk negatively about someones looks. Just say theyre not your type and that should be enough.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 03:45 PM
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Honesty without tact is cruelty. I'm okay with being told the truth but not gratuitous as.sholery.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 04:10 PM
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I prefer other people to be honest to me always, even if it's cruel.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 05:41 PM
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lol, well I'm thinking about the anti-psychotic medication I'm still not off of yet which I tried different ones for having really serious anxiety from worrying and how I gained a lot of weight from what I was before and that as my psychiatrist has said it is true that it can cause your tummy to be big and I don't like being told all the time that it is; however, I like hearing the truth. If I post a pic of me, I don't mind if someone says you look 'quite' good or I do see blemishes otherwise you look good but if they don't like it, then I'd prefer they just didn't reply and by the way, I don't have a dent in the middle of my lower chin in the post your pic RIGHT NOW thread, it's just a red spot/blemish/inflammation from one of my medications. I also know that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, everyone's type is different. I don't mind if someone told me I looked nice or good but I'm not their "type" so that's all.

Actually if someone says I think you're ugly, which no one has said to me ever, but if they did, I'd feel bad and that the person is so rude but I wouldn't think I'm ugly so I would forget about it afterwards.
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 06:28 PM
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Well, I usually benefit from people being reasonably straightforward with me. My mental acuity is often not all that sharp and (actually) both parties will usually benefit from blunt honesty even if my initial gut reaction to it is anger. And I also tend to resent it if someone says something rude in a nice way because it takes me a week to figure out what they really meant by that. And then I'm not liking it because....

1. What they said was rude

2. They put an extra twist on there that made me go into paranoia mode and back and forth between "Am I being paranoid or were they actually being rude on the downlow?"

Basically, I hate uncertainty even more than I hate blunt honesty. Even to the point of "Wow. What a dick!" I think it's more dickish in the long run to keep people guessing (even if that isn't necessarily the intent, they might end up wondering if it was and then wasting more time dwelling on it).

I have a relatively bad memory and I cool off pretty quick so I will usually get over being offended in time. I just don't want to waste time wondering whether or not I should be offended.

/WYSD
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
Yes I like honesty. I dont have time for games. And yuck? What are we in middle school

Yes, this. All of this.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 12:01 PM
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I do


I actually do prefer it when other people are honest. It's very difficult for me to open up when I'm unaware of what the other person is like.

I prefer honesty because at least then I'll be able to combat the circumstance in a manner where I know I'm not going to do something wrong (if that makes sense).

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 12:04 PM
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if i was straightforward and honest all the time, people would probably end up killing me.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 09:21 PM
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I’m not especially witty/clever nor am I great with body language so generally I prefer people being more direct but it can definitely come at a price at times
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:37 PM
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Some people value truth more. Some people value feeling good more.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 10:53 AM
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Yes...even if it hurts, just be tactful. When people aren't straightforward, I tend to start making assumptions about what they're thinking...assumptions which are not usually accurate. 😅
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mezzoforte View Post
Yes...even if it hurts, just be tactful. When people aren't straightforward, I tend to start making assumptions about what they're thinking...assumptions which are not usually accurate. 😅
Worse. Assumptions are often partially accurate but riddled with inaccuracies brought about by filling in the blanks with speculation on the uncertainties. Humans operate on information. Incomplete information will leave people to speculate. And people love to think the worst.

/WYSD
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:13 PM
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That depends on what it is. Some things yea.

Other things I'd rather just not know. If I don't want the truth, it doesnt mean I want a lie. Just means I want nothing to be said at all. Simple as that.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 05:36 PM
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On second thoughts - it's probably better if they just lie to keep me happy.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 06:02 PM
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Honestly... I know that culturally people will lie to no offend, but I always felt that the truth will allow you will to finally have some closure on things so you can go along in life with that knowledge... whatever it may be
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-20-2020, 02:42 PM
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Yeah sure they should, but just don't insult me or anything.
I know already I'm ****, let's leave it at that lol.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-20-2020, 02:46 PM
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Who doesn't like honesty?

Never could learn to drink that blood
And call it wine,
Never could learn to hold you, love,
And call you mine.
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