Do you agree or disagree? “Train your mind to see the good in everything.” - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 04:36 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Age: 26
Posts: 84

Do you agree or disagree? “Train your mind to see the good in everything.”


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? And tell me why.

“Train your mind to see the good in everything.”

My whole life I’ve trained my mind to see the glass half full. In recent years, I’ve trained my mind more to see the good. However, there are moments when this mindset has hit controversy with closed people of mine. I’m frustrated and want to know your thoughts on this statement. In the end, we all come from different walks of life. We can also agree to disagree with one another.
mindfullescape is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 04:43 AM
-
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,381
Do I have to see the good in mass murderers? Rapists? Terrorists?
CNikki is offline  
post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 04:45 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Age: 26
Posts: 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by CNikki View Post
Do I have to see the good in mass murderers? Rapists? Terrorists?
absolutely not. Generally questioning about seeing the good in daily struggles.
mindfullescape is offline  
 
post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 04:55 AM
SAS Member
 
RSxo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 255
My Mood: Inspired
I don't think it's about always seeing the positive side to things - it needs to be used in moderation, as with many things.

<3
RSxo is online now  
post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 06:28 AM
Ad astra per aspera.
 
SparklingWater's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,355
Longer take
 
Depends. It's one of those things like any religion, philosophy, practice (meditation, mindfulness, stoicism, positive thinking, etc.) where pple take a good/neutral idea and accidentally interpret it to mean completely ignore/deny/change/villify your feelings- which causes other big problems down the line. As long as you acknowledge and FEEL how you really feel (not ignore and repress it or even act on it, but acknowledge and allow/feel) THEN choose afterwards to look for an upside or lesson, it's all good.

Some pple will be in the middle of something ****ty and devastating and you can see them fighting back tears or completely tense w/ a fake smile saying 'well at least xyz' or 'Deity blah, blah, blah.' And it's like cry as long as you need to cry, get it out. Be sad, angry, afraid, disappointed. Then you can see clearly what shakes out instead of stubbornly ignoring reality. The stubborn refusal to be present with what's really going on internally is where pple go wrong rather than the actual looking for the upside. It's the inaunthentic gloss over that causes emotional issues (and gets on pple's nerves lol) rather than authentically feeling then choosing to see the good.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
SparklingWater is offline  
post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 08:57 AM
SAS's Chief Meteorologist
 
Maslow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,542
I try to see the good in people until they give me a reason not to. Like my right-wing neighbor... even though I don't agree with him, I tried to be diplomatic and respectful... that is until he was disrespectful with me. Now I won't give him the time of day.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
Maslow is offline  
post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 09:23 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 773
There is a school of thought that you should do the opposite of positive thinking. Its called Negative Visualization.

You imagine (visualize) possible bad future scenarios in your head so that you’ll be ready when these occur and you’ll be able to stay cool and respond in the best way possible.

Reseacher Donald Robertsonsays ‘negative thinking’ could be better than the well-known ‘positive thinking:’

“Recent psychological research tends to show that people who are able to accept unpleasant thoughts and feelings, without being overwhelmed by them, are more resilient than people who try to distract themselves or avoid such experiences, through strategies such as positive thinking.”
chrisinmd is offline  
post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 11:13 AM
occasionally lesbian NRx
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down one ****post at a time
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 36,895
Quote:
Originally Posted by mindfullescape View Post
absolutely not. Generally questioning about seeing the good in daily struggles.
Well that's half assed then isn't it?

I can see positives in my outgroups like Hitler or certain other kinds of people who are even more my outgroup. I wouldn't say someone is part of my outgroup purely due to doing something wrong, since I identify with the outcasts of society regardless of why they were made outcasts, but ideologically there are examples I differ from like Hitler, and also plenty of people who aren't outcasts who are my primary outgroup who I can respect in some ways. (Hitler isn't a great example we have some stuff in common in spite of ideological differences, and he was a response to class struggle in the Weimar Republic which I see repeating now and can have sympathy for. This is a good example of my outgroup.) It doesn't stop me being annoyed/angry with them though when they do/say certain things. I believe that's mostly why people say to do that, but some degree of respect doesn't stop that effect.
Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 10:21 AM
SAS Member
 
That Random Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: America
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,585

Disagree


I disagree with it because it's taking a purely optimistic view on everything.

With that said, I do try to weigh both sides to everything or try to always consider the opposite take on something.

I like to be accepting of both pros & cons where it is applicable to do so.

For instance, I always tell myself that I would use lethal force to protect my loved-ones if it came down to it. In that scenario, I would accept that I am committing a sin (not religious; I just don't agree with taking life) but that I'd be doing it to save my cherished persons. In other words, I'm accepting that what I'm doing is a bad thing but I'm doing it for my own good. I'm being selfish but it's my choice. The good would be protecting my loved-ones but that alone doesn't mean I should disregard the negative implications or consequences. The fact remains I did something bad and I have to live with that.

With the notion that I should see the good in everything---it's almost like meeting yourself half-way on things that are naturally not deemed to benefit anything.

I'm a very hopeful person but I'm not always positive.

I guess it's a way of coping with things but it's enabling delusion, for me. I see things for what they are.

I didn't take the opportunities I was given before for many things. That was on me. I don't see any positives to letting my crush get on with my clone. I don't see any positive to having SA affect my personal growth, career growth, etc.

I could have found love, I could have had friends, and I could have done better to my folks/family. The fact remains that I didn't. No pish-posh psyche corrective is going to change that.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
That Random Guy is offline  
post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 11:22 AM
Greasy prospector
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The salty spitoon
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,975
My Mood: Lurking
Disagree, I think people who see the positive/good in everything must be psychopaths.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 11:25 AM
CWe
SAS Member
 
CWe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Countryside
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Posts: 3,536
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Disagree, I think people who see the positive/good in everything must be psychopaths.

How so?


CWe is offline  
post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 11:36 AM
Greasy prospector
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The salty spitoon
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,975
My Mood: Lurking
Quote:
Originally Posted by CWe View Post
How so?
Well for a start anybody who's glass is perpetually half full must never have seen someone they love slowly dying from a terminal illness then drowning in there own bodily fluid, then fore-going personal tragedy, there's the suicides, bullying, disease, cancer, contamination/pollution of the planet, animal abuse, pedophiles, isis beheadings, wiping out entire species for our greed, I could go on & on, but what's the positive spin on all that unless you're a psycho : /






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 01:00 PM
-
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,381
I wouldn't say they're psychopaths but very naive or in serious denial. The person must not have experienced certain tragedies and injustices in their own lives, if not seeing it happen to those they are/were close to, to see that there's not all good and so long as corruption is possible, it never will be. And as humans being a species part of the evolutionary process, we are prone to being greedy and corrupted just as much as we are to be altruistic and fair (usually at a cost, so even then we need to define these terms.) The person can see the glass as half full to see their particular situation in a better light if it helps them cope. But since this is a general question without any specifics being clarified as to what the OP may have meant to ask - no, it's not a plausible idea to see the good in absolutely everything we see.
CNikki is offline  
post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 01:13 PM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 28,407
My Mood: Relaxed
Hmm. I don't think trying to see the good in everything is a great idea but in a way, I do kind of think it's best if you can just accept things you can't change. You can't move on until you accept something. However you go about doing that is kind of beside the point. Other people can't really advise you on the best way to come to acceptance. Since if it doesn't work for you personally, it's kinda pointless.

So it's kind of like if you were to suddenly go blind and were told that was it. You're never going to be able to see again. If you spend the rest of your life trying to grow new eyes, you're going to be stuck in the same spot forever. Nothing is going to change until you say "Well, that's it. I'm blind and I might as well try to figure out how to live with it".

That's not really seeing the good in being blind. That's just accepting it as a fact that is beyond your control.

So...for example. If someone does something ****ty to you and you spend the rest of your life dwelling on it, it's basically just gonna rot your "soul" (major figure of speech since I'm not religious) until you say "OK. This happened and it's done and there's nothing I can do about it. What can I do to move on?"

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 03:32 PM
SAS's Chief Meteorologist
 
Maslow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,542
Focusing on the good things in life and showing gratitude is the key to happiness. Of course, you can't ignore the bad things and you need to take precautions to try to prevent bad things from happening, but to be happy, you can't dwell on your problems more than you need to. Look at them from the objective perspective of a scientist so you can find solutions. If there are no solutions, just accept them as a fact of life. If you can't accept them, get revenge.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
Maslow is offline  
post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 06:39 PM
SAS Member
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,854
I don't think it's possible to see the good in everything - that's just insane. And I've never been good at training my mind to do anything - nowadays I'm happy if I'm feeling reasonably stable each day and I don't have a headache.

I've never trained my mind to do anything and I'm not sure I could. I do seem to have inherited a reasonably optimistic nature though - and I think I've been very lucky to have a fairly happy life overall. So I do sort of see the good in people a lot - until they give me reason not to. Even then sometimes I can look at the situation and see why or how they've become the way they are - but sometimes I find it very hard to do that.
harrison is offline  
post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 01:14 AM
untitled document
 
Paul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California Republic
Language: None
Age: 39
Posts: 6,199
I do try to see the good in everything.. and also the bad in everything, and the neutral in everything. That's how you get the complete picture.

Some people, especially often people with anxiety or depression, have a problem where they only look for the bad in things. Those people do need to widen their sights to include the good.

Looking only for the good would just be the more fun flip side of black and white thinking, of course. Maybe it'd be fun in a sense, but it'd be delusional, so I prefer gray thinking.

SA Game | Sacramento SA Meetup

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
Paul is offline  
post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 04:16 AM
In Liquidation
 
Blue Dino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6,146
Overall, you will probably be much happier this way living with this attitude, but at the same time you will also be taken advantage of a lot, especially with bad exploitative people. With that said, I personally think the former will happen more than the latter. Unless you are always in a situation or environment where you're always associating with ****ty scummy people.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.

If I fail to adapt to the fault of others, it is my fault.
Blue Dino is offline  
post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 04:38 AM
Tired
 
SplendidBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,614
So long as you aren't going around telling people that's what they should do, or that its a bizarre way to treat depression or something, whatever floats your boat. None of my business how you see the world, unless you try to influence how I do.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
SplendidBob is offline  
post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 04:43 AM
Tired
 
SplendidBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,614
Also, if you are serious about seeing the good in everything, that should probably extend to those people you describe as "closed"

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
SplendidBob is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome