Do people ever try talking to you? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 01:50 PM Thread Starter
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Do people ever try talking to you?


Does anyone approach you and try to say hi, or ask for something? How often? Do they try more than once?

I rarely get talked to, I guess since my body language is very introverted, maybe once a month someone will approach me and say "hi" but they never talk to me again because I turn into a stuttering idiot who can't form coherent sentences.

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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 01:52 PM
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Does anyone approach you and try to say hi, or ask for something? How often? Do they try more than once?

I rarely get talked to, I guess since my body language is very introverted, maybe once a month someone will approach me and say "hi" but they never talk to me again because I turn into a stuttering idiot who can't form coherent sentences.
Yesterday, some guy with dreadlocks asked me if I had a cigarette, I said no, then he started laughing at me as he walked away, then he looked back at me and laughed some more. I would have liked to punch his teeth out... People are such jerks...
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 01:57 PM
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I turn into a stuttering idiot who can't form coherent sentences.

It's usually the same with me


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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:04 PM
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People come to me often for directions. My personal record is 3 people in 5 minutes. But otherwise I get ignored and I never can think of something to say, my mind magically goes blank. And I know it's because contact with new people scares me.

i'm serious
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:07 PM
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Rarely, and I tend to be awkward and surprised by it, struggling to make much of a reply.
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:09 PM
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They do approach, I guess that not so often (my friends told me I look arrogant and that I can "cut with my eyes", weird), but these days a girl who I think wants to make friends talked to me, I was nice, but at some moment I went out of ideas to discuss, also a guy in the mall came after me asking if I am a foreigner, he was rude, I didn't talk much with him.

I usually turn into a stuttering idiot myself, even with friends.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:11 PM
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Yeah, it's usually people I have zero interest in talking to.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:11 PM
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This has happened to me many times throughout my life cuz I'm a bit older (meaning more time for it to happen).

The thing with it is it can often give off a bad vibe from me.

I've heard it explained before, something called passive state vs. aggressive state.

The approacher often holds the aggressive card because they are doing the aggressive thing approaching which can give them power of the conversation by nature, and puts the the approachee in a passive state by nature.

Unfortunately, passiveness is often seen as standoffish behavior and "don't talk to me" behavior.

So most times I've been approached, people are disappointed in my behavior seeing as if I am approached, I'm taking the passive role combined with the fact that I'm already shy, not a good combo usually.

Some people just see me as quiet/friendly. I would have to say most see me as someone who doesn't talk to people much. I'd say that's the most often judgment coming from others if they approach me.

If you are wondering how i know this, for someone who is shy, I can be quite receptive of body language, voice tone and facial expressions, especially from extroverts (extroverts tend to give more away with what I just mentioned).

Reminds me of this girl I've talked to at a place the past two days. I can tell she is totally freaked out by me. Funny thing is she probably has no idea i know that. She's very extroverted and gives a lot of how she feels away with her eyes and facial expressions.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:13 PM
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It does happen sometimes. It depends on the situation. I go to a small school that's really friendly, so I usually can't walk across campus without people saying hi. That doesn't bother me because it's just "hi" and move on. There are plenty of times where people try to small talk though, and how well that goes depends on if I've ever talked to them before, how I'm feeling that day, and other stuff.

Even though my school's small though, it's in a city, and if I'm out anywhere outside of school it's rare that anyone tries to say anything to me at all.

Then I go to my hometown, and I know tons of people who are always much more likely to try to stop me to talk anytime I leave the house. (Even people who don't know you will stop you to talk and possibly to try and figure out which family you belong to. They almost always know some of my relatives if they start questioning me about it.) It feels like a much different experience going somewhere when I'm at home versus when I'm at school, and I expect every time that I leave the house that I'll probably have to talk to at least one person.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:14 PM
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No people approach me in RL, as always I have to take the initiative
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:17 PM
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There was a random female who said Hi to me at WaWa, mostly females always approach me awkwardly.

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:19 PM
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its the cycle of sa,people dont talk to you when you dont talk to them.i have people at my job havent even given me a hello or a "how you doin" in weeks and completly ignore me butt walk like 10 feet away and talk to someone else for like an hour.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 02:26 PM
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not really, but that's not so weird. I hardly know any people so who would say hi? strangers don't talk to me (why would they anyway). I think i give of an unapproachable vibe. Probably cause i like to feel invisible. I do remember this one time some guy asked me for directions and it made my day lol.

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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 10-07-2015, 05:21 PM
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I've had a few people approach me to talk to me. Some people I already know, and some because of class. Otherwise, I usually do most of the walking up.
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