Do I have PTSD? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
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Do I have PTSD?

A few weeks ago my mind just went blank giving a presentation and my coworker had to cover for me while I regained my thoughts. Every time I am alone now, my mind wanders and subconsciously ends up thinking about that embarrassing moment and then I uncontrollably have violent outbursts at myself shouting things like “you ****ing idiot! How could you let that happen!” Or “**** you! Why are you so stupid?!” Almost like I have Tourette’s syndrome but it could be anything that puts myself down. It’s been weeks and I can’t get myself to stop this behavior.
Sometimes in public, I’ll have a subtle outburst almost like my subconscious has awareness that people are around and I shouldn’t embarrass myself further so I should be a bit more quiet cursing myself out in public but right after that subtle outburst I have a sense of awareness of what I just said, then I feel awkward and wonder if anyone heard me. This has happened a few times when I ****ed up on presentations since college. But I have gotten a lot better at giving presentations and sometimes I’ll do really well and get praised but once in a while I’ll mess up really bad and end up embarrassing myself which leads to self hate. Sometimes when I’m in downtown and I see a crazy person on the streets probably on drugs shouting random things at themself, it just reminds me of myself. Anyone familiar with this type of behavior and know how I can stop? Is this related to PTSD?
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 07:29 PM
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Doesn't sound much like PTSD. More like OCD (which is related to Tourette's). But a couple hundred words isn't a lot to go on. If you're worried about it, talk to a doctor. We're obv not qualified. We're all crazy here.

Crazy people shouting random things in the streets are more likely to be schizophrenic. Though it's possible they have PTSD and are responding to a flashback.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 10:23 PM
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It sounds like an extreme version of this:

I have similar stuff sometimes but I can keep it relatively under control, I'm not sure why your behaviour is so out of control for you probably something to do with the degree to which you're absorbed in your memories. What I do now which has proven quite effective is just to aggressively yell (inside my head not outside obviously,) get out of my head everytime I have an unpleasant thought in general or start thinking about someone/something I don't want to think about.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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