Self-absorbed but it's ok
Join Date: Oct 2014
Language: Bad English
Yes they did and everyone who's messed up is messed up by the combination of environment and upbringing. So, you can say mostly it's parents who mess up everyone. Yes, they often do everything that's possible for them. However, it doesn't eliminate responsibility for their children and for how they messed them up. And for someone who's ''messed up'' it's important not to underestimate the role parents had in it and their responsibility for your life starting from your birth till you're 18 to be able to work on your traumas and to grow mentally, psychologically. Especially in the early years when your life depended on them entirely.
Most people have something that messed them up at least in some way and it was from their childhood and by someone who was responsible to be their caregiver. They just don't realize it at all. Or they do, but the extent of it is very small and they make up excuses for their parents.
Just like people in this thread. Half of them blame it on some vague ''genetics'' even though it's not true. Oh and they keep repeating that some people have it worse. Yeah, but so what? Some children were killed or sold for organs by their parents. So super duper extremely deliberately abused ones who survived into adulthood can get to know about those stories and think ''but I should remember these children had it worse than me so I should be grateful and blame myself for it''.
It's not right to think this way because it's your life. This is the last situation in which you should do the virtue signaling. But yeah, that's what your parents will most likely tell you or been telling you already. But the thing is they won't be able to ever acknowledge how they impacted your lifes and personalities, even 50% of it. So you shouldn't expect them to, no matter how much you want it internally.
Maybe they were trying to guilt trip you in your childhood about how much they've done for you and how much they sacrificed for you. That happens often. But the thing is you never asked them to give a birth to yourself. It was their decision with which their responsibility came. And the status of an adult person is incomparable to that of a newborn, a baby, a toddler, a child. Even a teen if the adult (in some of the most unfortunate cases an institution and people who work there) is a responsible for them caregiver. They projected some blood-sucking monster onto you, but in reality it just makes them look silly because if they weren't prepared for that then maybe they should have thought twice before making a decision about having a baby. Maybe more than twice.
Sorry not sorry