Also I'm wondering if they also want you to stay at home and not to date anyone because they're Christian and they want you not to ''sin'' or something (but on the other hand, they just want you to stay with them forever and not even to marry which Christian or traditional parents would want unless they had some personal hidden reasons to want you to stay with them forever like I said in other posts).
Dad doesn't go to church at all. I used to go to church but I only go on like Easter and Holy Hiltary Sunday. But since every time I came home to Dad (and formerly the dog in the house). Dad would ask me EVERY week 1) "Did you have lunch yet?" and 2)"Where's Mom?" (Mom's is either at choir practice after church or play practice depending where in the year it is) and for the formley question is no I did NOT have lunch. Sure there's a soical time after church but all there is is mostly grapes, banana bread (maybe) and some crackers and cheese and cookies for the kids (plus tea&coffee for the adults and juice for the kids). I mean it would drive anyone crazy having to tell Dad the SAME thing every week since I was 13 (when I first started to walk home from the church on my own). We know some very werid couples at church- Couple A and B were married to other people but once they came to my church they kind of fall in love. We accept gays and there's a two member (used to be 3) member family of Orphans (all of who are YAs or adults) whose parent(s) came to the church. You know how Christ was open for everyone? Well that's how my church is. Gay, straight, Black, Brown, etc, orphans, divorced/ "living in sin". Everyone's is welcome even the children and teens (like literally when they are like 4 years of age and onwards the church asks the children to light the candles and maybe say something about it. Teens might be asked to read the Scripture for instance. In Dec they (the children and teens) kind of do the entire service (except the offering, I don't know, I 'm not there)-by themselves.
You mean to have kids on your own, without a partner at all? I also think that's a bad option. But I don't think it's a good idea to have kids in general cause we internalize these things from our parents and can only resolve them in therapy, unfortunately. So that would make us bad parents too, whether we know that or not. It's not so much about blindly repeating what our parents have done to us, but more about general mental health because a child requires a lot of energy and a lot of attunement to their emotions and responding to them appropriately (especially babies) which we can't do because of our unconscious mental state
I would prefer a partner but without my parents permission to date (and my friends don't know anyone available since they're all taken) how am I suppose to find a partner to mate with?
I mean these are the options for me to find a partner:
1)Ask friends-tried that no reply and like I said before all of them are taken so they wouldn't really know
3)hang out in a coffee shop (not a coffee person)
4) Hang Out in a book store (nearest one is in Ajax unless you count Oshawa Centre or Pickering Town Centre (both are malls).)
5).go on solo trips (hair is a problem unless I was to cut it short like my Mom's) not to mention I don't speak any lanuage other then English and American Sign Language) or money related stuff (for instance..I wanted to buy something for myself online and I can't use normal methods I want to the post office and got a Pay Stuff "card" and I had too much on it ($150) and my parents gave me a scolding for it!.
6).Take a class there's literally nothing interesting in whats available in town because the majority of the classes are bloody fitness classes or dance classes most of which require you to already have a PARTNER. The only Class I'm interested in is a First-Aid class. That or a cooking class but no there aren't any cooking class in this town not for my age group.
7) go to a bar (not a bar person)
8.)go to events but the problem is majority of events (like 99%) are in Toronto and that brings up the entire "bodyguard issue". (Like one of my 3 engaged friends who lives in Toronto..even if I wanted to visit her. I would have to take Mom INTO Toronto she does X well I talk with ((Friend)). and then Mom and I would meet up later and go home I assume if we didn't do something else).
9)I would love to be set up by either family members OR friends but my parents don't want me to get hurt. And my friends don't really know of any available guy (since 3 of the 4 friends are engaged and the 4th been married for 4 years).
10). Speeding dating but a)not in my town and 2)$$
11)I don't know if I will be invited to any of my friends' weddings-I wasn't invited to S1's wedding and if it involves travelling.. well there's the hair issue
Why do you really want to have kids? I kind of see that as growing up and being surrounded by people who have traditional beliefs. So they probably have these expectations on you and therefore you can only see yourself like that too... I used to be Christian too when I was a teen and when I was communicating with Christians and going to church I also had these ideas imposed on me to the point where I was thinking it was ''Christian'' to do so sometimes so I wanted to become a monk a.k.a. ''nun'' and live in the monastery cause that was the only alternative. Now I kind of distinguish Christianity (i.e. what Jesus said in Bible) from rigid traditional Christians, but yeah none of actual Christians would call me Christian and I wouldn't cause I have doubts, but that's a different story...
The only one who has an exceptions of me having children is myself. My grandpa is in his 90s now. Mom's sister was having some difficulties with him (He had been living with sister and sister's husband) so She and her husband put him in a better retirement home then the ones Grandpa and Grandma were at previously and a close by one. So all supper conversation that was going on at supper that time was about how better that was for everyone. Sitting at the table during supper all I could think about is "without a partner or any children of my own whose the **** is going to be having that kind of talk about ME when I'm in my 90s?"
Here are some examples of possibilities:
1).My sister would be even older then I would be (in her 100s maybe if still alive) so it would have to be her step-children or their children (step-grandchildren(?) 2)my maternal cousins who but 3 are closer to my sister's age not mine and 1 of the three lives in B.C. (Cousin A) currently so she's out, so that leaves My Mom's brother family (that is an adopted daughter Er via his wife-and she-the daughter is even older then my sister,) said daughter's half-sisters (Cousin 'Z , 1 who is the same age as the Cousin A-I think) and the one who is my age cousin R. There is our cousin K (sister of the cousin in B.C.) but she's a half-year younger then my sister). But everyone involved but Cousin A and Cousin K's brother (Cousin D) all either in a relationship (K, and 'Z) and Cousin R had been in a relationship which went as far as them being engaged but it didn't work out. Cousin Er she has a daughter of 3 years now.
Do you know how annoying it was for me to have to go to family reunions and have to pretend to be happy for all those people and I was miserable (like I once started to cry and Mom forbid me to cry) and since my own way to and from the get togethers is via my PARENTS? And I always had to wait for the parents to wait for one of the other travellers to start travelling home before WE could leave.
2)my friends' families IF they have children- Friend K (guess I do have a friend with a similar name to a cousin)-lives east of me. Two of my friends (both who start with S) live in Toronto. Friend L well don't know where she and her fiancee will settle at the moment. I mean there could be the option of (School Friend's Ps sons) but they live nearby Peterborough or School Friend C1's newborn daughter)
3). A complete (but medically-trained) stranger..who would want a complete stranger looking after them in their 90s? That's just an invitation for Senior abuse Sure in some senses I would be semi-wealthy because of what we been doing with money...Dad puts money in from bank account 1 and puts it into bank account 2 which I can't touch until I'm 60 and I think bank account 2 also gets money from the government as well.
Obviously, you should choose what job you want to do, whether it's a volunteering job or a non-volunteering one. You know about your current strengths and things you can't do so far and they just want to make a certain mold out of you which is entirely wrong, of course.
Have you ever read Paper Towns by John Green? It and his two other books (Looking for Alaska and an Abundance of Katherines) are about sort of "masks" we wear with different people. The mask which sometimes comes on to me when I'm getting really annoyed at my parents is "Act like I'm a 2 year old" mask because from my POV that's the mask they seem to WANT me to wear. If I'm on my own like at my program, or at like Church (my volunteer job) or at Open Door's (a unit of my church) I'm able to wear a more "adult" mask because those places especially the program (with some exceptions) DO treat us/want us to act like adults.