craving emotional connection - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 119

craving emotional connection


Hi everyone.

I am so lonely. I feel it in my heart; pressuring pain in and around my heart. Nothing cheers me up anymore. Not TV, video games, etc. Life is so empty and void. I even tried drinking but it didn't help at all. I just need a girl to connect to emotionally. To hug her, to cuddle her, and look into her eyes. Thats all I want.. but it seems impossible. Only if I had the nerve to ask some one out
AlienOnEarth is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 11:54 AM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 152,736
My Mood: Angelic
AlienOnEarth,

I know it, man. I have had to push that aside until I have friends first. That's the only way it is going to happen for me. .

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 11:58 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 119
I don't care about male friends... really. I could live happily without the male peer group. But I need ONE female companion. I don't even care about sex. I just need to connect to someone in deeper levels.
AlienOnEarth is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 12:15 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,107
I know how you feel. I do too.

just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
ColdFury is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 01:12 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 690

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienOnEarth
Hi everyone.

I am so lonely. I feel it in my heart; pressuring pain in and around my heart. Nothing cheers me up anymore. Not TV, video games, etc. Life is so empty and void. I even tried drinking but it didn't help at all. I just need a girl to connect to emotionally. To hug her, to cuddle her, and look into her eyes. Thats all I want.. but it seems impossible. Only if I had the nerve to ask some one out
A girl isn't going to solve your problem. You should read this first http://www.heartless-*****es.com/ran...niceguys.shtml

I'm not who I have in memory
Nor who is in me now.
If I think, I self-dismember.
If I believe, there is no end.
Restless Mind is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 04:50 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,107

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by Restless Mind
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienOnEarth
Hi everyone.

I am so lonely. I feel it in my heart; pressuring pain in and around my heart. Nothing cheers me up anymore. Not TV, video games, etc. Life is so empty and void. I even tried drinking but it didn't help at all. I just need a girl to connect to emotionally. To hug her, to cuddle her, and look into her eyes. Thats all I want.. but it seems impossible. Only if I had the nerve to ask some one out
A girl isn't going to solve your problem. You should read this first http://www.heartless-*****es.com/ran...niceguys.shtml
Posting that link is just going to get this thread locked like the previous one!

just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
ColdFury is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 06:20 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 31
I know exactly what you mean Alien. After my seperation, I was just dying to have someone in my life for a few years. But as Restless pointed out, a girl wont solve your problems.

The only reason I say this is because I realized (several years later) that there is so much that I needed to do for myself first. I just felt "hollow" and "empty". And like I have nothing to offer. I realized that I had to be independent first or I would be way too clingy in a relationship. I think people have to find out what independence means to them. For me, I think it means to feel good about myself. I think being able to support myself would help me to do that.

Im probably way off topic and I didnt mean to get so preachy.
impure is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 07:12 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 290

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by Restless Mind
A girl isn't going to solve your problem. You should read this first http://www.heartless-*****es.com/ran...niceguys.shtml
Wow, what an obnoxious load of BS. If everyone was that damn picky the species would die out tommorrow.
travo is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 07:21 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 290

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinion
Quote:
Originally Posted by travo
Wow, what an obnoxious load of BS. If everyone was that damn picky the species would die out tommorrow.
How about some examples of what you consider BS in that article? I also thought it was more realistic than picky personally.
Realistic in that a nice man should change everything about himself or a woman can't possibly even consider him a man? I'm sorry but that's both naive and rude point of view. If I'm naturally who I am why the hell should I try to be mr. perfect just to be friends with a girl and start a relationship? Love is not rocket science, nor should it be. If a girl doesn't like me as a nice guy, then I'll move on, but I'm not going to turn into an ******* just to have an ******* girl like me.
travo is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 07:28 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 690

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by travo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinion
Quote:
Originally Posted by travo
Wow, what an obnoxious load of BS. If everyone was that damn picky the species would die out tommorrow.
How about some examples of what you consider BS in that article? I also thought it was more realistic than picky personally.
Realistic in that a nice man should change everything about himself or a woman can't possibly even consider him a man? I'm sorry but that's both naive and rude point of view. If I'm naturally who I am why the hell should I try to be mr. perfect just to be friends with a girl and start a relationship? Love is not rocket science, nor should it be. If a girl doesn't like me as a nice guy, then I'll move on, but I'm not going to turn into an @#%$ just to have an @#%$ girl like me.
Did you read the whole thing? Because the main point, as she clearly states in the last paragraph, is that "you don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogent jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself." And that's the truth.

I'm not who I have in memory
Nor who is in me now.
If I think, I self-dismember.
If I believe, there is no end.
Restless Mind is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 10:07 PM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 152,736
My Mood: Angelic
That site is full or misandry. When they're not attacking men, they're attacking each other!

The advice about liking yourself is the ony thing I can take out of it - the rest was just word pollution.

I want to be a functioning male member of society, a man, before I pursue a relationship with a woman. Not to sound egotistical, I have to work on "me" first. I want to show myself I can do it after all these years of being pushed down by people (and women like those from that site ). I want to be able to survive on my own (God-willing) and then take the next step. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 119

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by Restless Mind

A girl isn't going to solve your problem. You should read this first http://www.heartless-*****es.com/ran...niceguys.shtml
I don't consider myself a nice-guy, and dont anticipate to be one when in a relationship. My problem is not losing girls, which is what the article focuses on. Rather, it is the lack of courage to face the possibility of rejection that can result from making the first move, even though I have never experienced it. So if I got to the level where I could show my personality, then I would have to worry about how to act.

Hey Impure, My problem stems from loneliness. What else can solve my problem? For god's sake I have had experiences where girls initiated (one person said she "loves" me, the other hugging me and saying it, and a girl without a date asked me about prom), but I chickened out... and I know I still will and hate myself for it. I would make up an excuse, like "thats not the girl i want to spend my entire life with, so why waste time?"


The reason behind my fear is the fact that I think I will come across dull and boring on a date. I am generally not an interesting person... I have seen how other guys are fun to be with, and I just can't be like them.. What is it that you guys are talking about "fixing" ourselves. What is the problem that u guys think you need to fix?

I never felt like I feel nowadays before. Although I was always alone, it is now that I am feeling lonely and its pain.
AlienOnEarth is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-06-2006, 11:03 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 690

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienOnEarth
My problem is not losing girls, which is what the article focuses on. Rather, it is the lack of courage to face the possibility of rejection that can result from making the first move, even though I have never experienced it. So if I got to the level where I could show my personality, then I would have to worry about how to act.
The article isn't just about losing girls; it's about getting them and keeping them. You're basically saying that you lack the confidence to ask out a girl, but then claim you will be comfortable once she sees your personality? What makes you think you won't worry about rejection once you start talking to her? If you're afraid to make a move, who's not to say you won't be afraid to make other moves? I think it's normal to be a tad nervous, but that's when you've got step it up and be a man. In other words - confident.

I'm not who I have in memory
Nor who is in me now.
If I think, I self-dismember.
If I believe, there is no end.
Restless Mind is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-08-2006, 09:24 AM
SAS Member
 
SAgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Northwestern Ontario
Language: English
Gender: Female
Age: 40
Posts: 3,429
Sadly, I've actually dated a few guys without having any job. I only saw them on the weekends for a few months though.

If you guys have jobs and are emotionally stable (not depressed and crying all the time or angry all the time) then I recommend Lavalife or Match.com. There are alot of people on there just looking to meet people and if a relationship happens it happens they say, but there just interested in seeing what's out there. We only live once. Why let life pass by without enjoying it.

You had me at hello.
SAgirl is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-08-2006, 02:17 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,107
Quote:
If you guys have jobs and are emotionally stable (not depressed and crying all the time or angry all the time) then I recommend Lavalife or Match.com. There are alot of people on there just looking to meet people and if a relationship happens it happens they say, but there just interested in seeing what's out there. We only live once. Why let life pass by without enjoying it.
Like any other dating site, match.com and lavalife are 90% guys and if you're a male and sign up on there you'll probably not even get 1 reply from a female. A lot of females recommend dating sites without realizing that the experience on it is vastly different for a male.

I wish it was as easy as signing up on dating sites and meeting people, but I've been on all of them for years and have never even met one person from it.

Dating sites are probably good for females because of the imbalance, but for a guy they're absolutely useless.

just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
ColdFury is offline  
post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-08-2006, 08:53 PM
Poorly Educated
 
Lonelyguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Sunnyvale Trailer Park
Posts: 4,883
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdFury
Quote:
If you guys have jobs and are emotionally stable (not depressed and crying all the time or angry all the time) then I recommend Lavalife or Match.com. There are alot of people on there just looking to meet people and if a relationship happens it happens they say, but there just interested in seeing what's out there. We only live once. Why let life pass by without enjoying it.
Like any other dating site, match.com and lavalife are 90% guys and if you're a male and sign up on there you'll probably not even get 1 reply from a female. A lot of females recommend dating sites without realizing that the experience on it is vastly different for a male.

I wish it was as easy as signing up on dating sites and meeting people, but I've been on all of them for years and have never even met one person from it.

Dating sites are probably good for females because of the imbalance, but for a guy they're absolutely useless.
Thats been my experience as well. I spent over three years using online personals sites without ever getting a date despite giving it serious attempts.
Lonelyguy is offline  
post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 02:42 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 364

Re: craving emotional connection


Quote:
Originally Posted by Restless Mind
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienOnEarth
My problem is not losing girls, which is what the article focuses on. Rather, it is the lack of courage to face the possibility of rejection that can result from making the first move, even though I have never experienced it. So if I got to the level where I could show my personality, then I would have to worry about how to act.
The article isn't just about losing girls; it's about getting them and keeping them. You're basically saying that you lack the confidence to ask out a girl, but then claim you will be comfortable once she sees your personality? What makes you think you won't worry about rejection once you start talking to her? If you're afraid to make a move, who's not to say you won't be afraid to make other moves? I think it's normal to be a tad nervous, but that's when you've got step it up and be a man. In other words - confident.
I just wanna **** them, just like this nice cartoon says http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml
Goran is offline  
post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 03:32 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,218
That site really snapped me out of certain thoughts I was entertaining about someone. I think the site says what I know to be true, it just says it in a way that makes my heart sink. I think being exposed to this brutal mentality has saved me from further humiliation, and not just from girls but everyone. As I venture out into the world, it is good to know that "the world" is a heartless ***** who will point her finger and laugh at me because that is how I am supposed to learn. Be cautious with what you disclose/show to people because many will use it to tear you down.

Of course it's also nice to know that everyone has a fault and what goes around comes around. The same is true for everyone, even heartless *****es.

Quote:
Originally Posted by travo
Love is not rocket science, nor should it be.
Adult relationships sure seem to be. I used to think that love just happened, as it did in gradeschool and Jr. High, but the more I interact with the world and the older I get, the less that seems to be the case.
Roberto is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What are you craving right now? TheDaffodil General Discussion 3359 08-16-2019 10:30 PM
craving physical intimacy Fireflylight Frustration 127 04-01-2019 11:37 PM
A Great Read...Turning Emotional Scars into Emotional Strengths atvsamala Self Help Resources 3 07-16-2012 09:50 PM
Craving and even Thriving in the Spotlight xyzhousexyz Frustration 1 07-05-2009 07:30 PM
craving what you fear likeOlikeH Coping With Social Anxiety 3 03-16-2009 12:35 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome