Can anyone else relate? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
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Can anyone else relate?


(I pretty much need to vent a bit, so please bear with me). So basically, Iíve been the loneliest person on the planet this past year. When high school ended and college began, I was thrown into a whole new world of isolation. I went to a really small high school (my graduating class had 7) and I knew everyone there. I always had people around me who (at the time) were my friends. I could talk to them easily, and always count on at least someone saying hi to me. When college started, I knew nobody. I have a hard time making friends, but I believed that I could at least make 1 to 2 friends. Well, my first semester I made no friends. Not even an acquaintance. This is also about the time I realized that the people I knew in high school werenít really my friends, more of just people I was forced to be around. Spring semester came along, and I had kinda given up on everything really. I had no motivation or passion for anything. I had been diagnosed with and started taking meds for SAD around November, and in the spring time I felt like they actually did nothing. So, without telling anyone, I stopped taking them. I feel better now that itís been so long, but I had withdrawals from the medication. Iím glad I got off of them. Summer came along and I quit my job of 2 years (thank goodness, that place was noting but stress). I found a new one and I really enjoy it. I joke with my coworkers that I donít have friends and Iíll die a hermit with cats. One of them always says ďbut you made friends here. Weíre your friendsĒ. Well yes they are, but they are all roughly 20 years older than me (expect for like 3). Because of this age gap, I feel like I canít relate to them and that they really arenít the ďfriendsĒ Iím looking for. Fall semester just started, and all around me I can see new friendships being formed. And the people who I thought at least remembered my name from a previous class, have no idea who I am. Itís like I donít exist in this school. I go day by day walking in the halls like a phantom. No one knows Iím there and no one cares. I have no friends from high school who talk to me. No friends from my old job who talk to me. The people I talk to most of the day are my mom, the cats, and the dog. Yup. Iím that person. I have no one else to talk to, so I talk to the cats and dog. They are literally the only friends I have at this point. I still have no motivation or passion about anything. I feel like more of a pointless blob than a person with life.

Iím sorry to anyone who reads this because of its length, but I just needed to vent somewhere because I donít have anyone to vent to. Also, I know this post is very selfish.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 09:38 PM
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Aw that's not selfish at all. I battle loneliness all the time. It seems kind of strange to have SA and still feel lonely, as I have met a lot of people with SA who don't even want to be around people. I long to be around people, yet I have these huge fears. being in new environments are terrifying.

Just know that there are people on here who are going through similar things and that you are never alone. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 11:47 PM
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My cat hasn’t come home yet and I’m freaking myself out. If I think about it hard enough, I can produce an evil monster. Any slight sound makes me jump and my head pop. Even just psychologically, I depend on my cat. He makes me feel safer for some reason even though anyone could kick him and he’d instantly die if it was hard enough. I need a dog. A dog for protection, safety, and inner peace. A single woman by herself isn’t safe enough. I need a gun. I have a knife next to me, but that won’t help me. I suck at melee.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 03:27 PM
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I can relate at some point... Friends in general are quite hard thing to find and keep, it's funny how much effort it takes and one day you might realize that it didn't had any use at all. It was just blind illusion that you have friends, while they might be not what you can call a friend... I learned that lesson too, back in the middle school... I used to have one best friend for few years there, but after about more than 10 years I don't have any clue where he is, or what he do and I don't even care... Even we actually were going to the same high school, but we never talked even once there... I had some more friends in middle school a bit later as well, and we used to talk in high school, even though we weren't best friends...
Friendship is very complicated thing, it can turn out to be way different than you might think... It surely did for me.
Now it's very hard to befriend me anyway. Almost impossible I should say... As well as I'm not really a good friend to anyone as well...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 09:46 PM
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Been there, didn't make any friends throughout school. At least the nice thing about university is you don't stand out and nobody knows you don't have friends, and you get fresh opportunities every semester to try again with new people.

Are you sure you want to dismiss friends because of an age gap? Some of my best friends have been very different ages.

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