Birthday Horrors - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:12 PM Thread Starter
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Birthday Horrors


Ugh. So it's my birthday today. before I go any further, please don't feel the need to wish me happy birthday. Here's why I hate birthdays, and it has nothing to do with aging.

I hate attention. If I could have any super power, it would be invisibility. Birthdays are the worst for attention. I mean The Worst. The phone calls are what I dread above all else. I am so awkward on the phone, and this is the one day of the year that people feel they need to call me. I lucked out in that my dad came and dragged me out for dinner instead of the usual awkward-as-hell phone call. It may seem counter-intuitive that someone with SA would prefer a face-to-face meeting rather than a phone call, but there you have it.

Then there is having to be at work an everyone coming up and wishing me happy birthday. I have to throw on a fake smile and act all gracious when I would rather crawl under the table and rock.

Wow, this makes me sound like a real dick. *lol*

But to top it off, I fired up my computer to load some books on my iPad and saw all these horrific Facebook notifications from well-wishers. All the distant friends and families were reaching out. Every FB friend I had from playing five minutes of some crappy FB game posted something. And let me not forget the PM's in Messenger. Those are even harder to ignore than the postings on my wall.

Yeah, I know I'm not selling myself here, but bear with me.

The other side of SA is not wanting people to hate me. I am such a pleaser, so I had to post polite replies to everyone. I feel sick to my stomach and shaky now. Has my SA gotten so bad that I feel like a basket case over a stupid birthday? I'm not even talking to these folks in person, for crying out loud!

And the coup de grace, a text message from my abusive ex. *puke* Coup de grace is the wrong phrase. It was more like being teabagged after the day from hell.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who dreads birthdays?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:15 PM
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I'm sorry but......happy birthday . I don't care about mine that much but like celebrating others.

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 09:26 PM
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You should try to treat yourself more today. If you wish, you can just try to tune those people out more and spend your free time doing something more indulgent and relaxing, if you haven't already.

My birthdays have been going absolutely terribly since the past few years, to the point where I have started to dread them, though I think I have mostly had myself to blame because of the really angry and miserable mood I got during them (no matter how excited I would be the day before). I think a combination of other people, plus a bunch of other things that don't end up going right (because of my heightened expectations), tend to also end up ruining my birthday for me. I've also experienced a couple of years in a row, while following much more people on social media, seeing repeatedly people I didn't even follow (They were retweeted/reblogged/etc. by someone I did follow) who would get hundreds of "Happy Birthdays!" when I checked their profile. And there I was, with barely 4 or 5. Even though I was obviously posting about my birthday, no one that followed me would seem to care but they would go wish Happy Birthday to the people they followed that did have that birthday. Well, then again, all of them that I've seen who share my birthday have strike me as extremely popular people. (Just like with pretty much all the people I've encountered who share my name. It really makes me feel like I can't have even one special thing to myself that isn't shared by ridiculously popular people right around me that take up all the recognition.)



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Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 11:15 PM
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There are many people who hate birthdays. It can be awkward even for people who are very social just about every other time. I would say it would probably be best to explain it to everyone you actually care about and try to ignore the ones you don't. But then that would probably take forever. And no matter how delicately you put it half of them probably aren't gonna understand anyway.

The only time I ever liked birthdays was when I was a kid and it was still fun to get something (anything) for free. Which, looking back, the people who knew me apparently knew nothing about me (most of them) because they always bought me this random stuff that I hardly ever touched after I got it.

All the cards said the same thing. I pretty much hide on birthdays now. All birthdays. I feel just as weird telling somebody happy birthday as I do someone telling me. Fortunately, I don't have a bunch of people online who know what day it is. Or even what month it is.

On the bright, weird side of things, this could be like your independence day. The day you tell them to all go F themselves. I find most people have been telling me to go F myself for 43 years. It would be kinda fun to return the favor once a year.

/WYSD
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 11:41 PM
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@Typhoid Mary , "Happy birthday to y" oh.

I'm not a huge fan of my birthday either, birthdays and new years "are the twooo least wonderful tiiiimes of the yeeear".

Hopefully it won't turn out to be so bad, try to do something you like (whatever that may be).

A lack of achievement doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of ability. A lack of ability doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of potential. - LonelyLurker
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 01:08 AM
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Happy birthday lol. And by the way when its your birthday you dont have to answer people's phone calls, dont let other people cause you so much anxiety.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 02:20 AM
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This is why I hide my birthday on Facebook. A couple times though someone who had my birthday memorized posted on my wall. Ugh. That then triggered a whole bunch of people posting happy birthday on my wall. Nightmare!! So now every year for a few days around my birthday, I change my Facebook settings so that no one can post on my wall.

The worst was at my old job. They always had cake or ice cream cake for people's birthdays. Everyone in the office gets called to the conference room to do the whole song. Ugh. Almost everyone I barely talk to, some I dislike. I really didn't need that attention. Luckily one coworker had the exact same birthday as me (weird since there were less than 25 people in the office), so I let him blow out the candles and be the focus of attention.

And you get a card with everyone's well wishes and signature. The whole card thing was done secretively, so people pass it around from cubicle to cubicle, whispering "so and so's birthday. pass it on." Don't get any money though, so what's the point? I don't need cake, just give me an American Express gift card or an Amazon one.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 05:24 AM
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You can hide your birthday on Facebook. You have to go to your profile and edit your profile. Change the privacy settings for your birthday to "only me."

I just double-checked this on my profile and apparently the day is visible but the year is hidden. The system must have changed since I originally did this years ago. My birthday is coming up in a few months. I doubt anyone would post, anyway, but better to hide it just in case. Timely post

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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 06:51 AM
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@Typhoid Mary Congratulations! You have successfully completed another rotation around a miasma of incandescent plasma floating in space

My birthdate's not public on social media anymore. It's frankly astonishing and dare I say hilarious when the throngs who flock to wish you a happy birthday instantly drop from hundreds to... a mere 5 or 10 people who actually remember your birthday without FB's assistance

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:06 AM
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I don't hate my birthdays because I'm not on social media, don't have any friends, and don't receive any phone calls from family. So it's pretty much just another day for me. I am glad to not be on Facebook and have to reply to lots of messages, lol.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Typhoid Mary View Post
Ugh. So it's my birthday today. before I go any further, please don't feel the need to wish me happy birthday. Here's why I hate birthdays, and it has nothing to do with aging.

I hate attention. If I could have any super power, it would be invisibility. Birthdays are the worst for attention. I mean The Worst. The phone calls are what I dread above all else. I am so awkward on the phone, and this is the one day of the year that people feel they need to call me. I lucked out in that my dad came and dragged me out for dinner instead of the usual awkward-as-hell phone call. It may seem counter-intuitive that someone with SA would prefer a face-to-face meeting rather than a phone call, but there you have it.

Then there is having to be at work an everyone coming up and wishing me happy birthday. I have to throw on a fake smile and act all gracious when I would rather crawl under the table and rock.

Wow, this makes me sound like a real dick. *lol*

But to top it off, I fired up my computer to load some books on my iPad and saw all these horrific Facebook notifications from well-wishers. All the distant friends and families were reaching out. Every FB friend I had from playing five minutes of some crappy FB game posted something. And let me not forget the PM's in Messenger. Those are even harder to ignore than the postings on my wall.

Yeah, I know I'm not selling myself here, but bear with me.

The other side of SA is not wanting people to hate me. I am such a pleaser, so I had to post polite replies to everyone. I feel sick to my stomach and shaky now. Has my SA gotten so bad that I feel like a basket case over a stupid birthday? I'm not even talking to these folks in person, for crying out loud!

And the coup de grace, a text message from my abusive ex. *puke* Coup de grace is the wrong phrase. It was more like being teabagged after the day from hell.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who dreads birthdays?
I don't have them anymore. I put a fake BD date on my facebook. One of my friends there knows it's the wrong date and wished me a happy fake bd. many fb friends are almost total strangers - reduce the possibility of identity theft by not telling everyone your birthday. - a FB privacy setting of "friends of friends" means that, according to a pew study, on average you are sharing information with 156,569 people
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:07 PM
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I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. Why would I when I hate my existence?

Basically, you're not the only one who hates birthdays.


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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by zanemwarwick View Post
I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. Why would I when I hate my existence?

Yep, same here!

Plus, I have toxic parent who has used it as way to guilt trip me in the past. No good memories!
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2017, 10:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Methusa View Post
Yep, same here!



Plus, I have toxic parent who has used it as way to guilt trip me in the past. No good memories!


I'm not sure if I should be glad that someone thinks the same as I do lol.

Sorry to hear about you having toxic parents. I have good parents but I was unable to reciprocate being a good child; a different form of guilt.


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