Are You Disrespected? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 07:28 PM Thread Starter
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Are You Disrespected?


I'm constantly disrespected. I'm way more confident than I used to be but yet every single time I meet someone new, they end up disrespecting me.

It's noticeable in how they respond to me and look at me. And the only conclusion is that I'm unattractive.

I'm a nice person and treat everyone with respect. I don't receive the same treatment. Maybe I look too nice and meek.
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 09:01 PM
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Everyone is disrespected. The people who disrespect you will, in turn, be disrespected themselves by other people. The people who I believe disrespected me had people talking behind their backs and so on.

It's something you have to get used to. It's just a vicious cycle of miserable people talking to other miserable people and it sucks.

People who treat you like that probably think their invincible or something idk. High self-esteem maybe.

It's best to try and be the better person and treat others with kindness. Don't be as miserable as a lot of people in this world.

She was very beautiful. Kind, but sad.
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 11:28 PM
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Respect usually has to be earned. Which doesn't mean you should disrespect people right off the bat just because it's relatively normal. But you also can't read too much into people who seem disrespectful at first glance. There's a lot going on in the world and crude social behavior is kind of normalized now and people are busy and so forth. I would say it's more important to pay attention to people you deal with every day and if there is a pattern of behavior that is clearly intended to be disrespectful.

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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:23 AM
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WOW!


YEP!

from start in gutter

hated

hurdle, barricade, enemies,

no respect

no chance

no fortune

build all from scum

everyone gets all handed out pristine

start at top?

accuracy, perfection never respected?
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:23 AM
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Yeah, nobody respects me. Never have. Has nothing to do with being nice or treating other people well. People treat you according to how they see you. If you're not respectable in their eyes, then being nice to them just makes you look weak and contemptible. If you're not nice, it makes you look like a *****. You can change people's opinions over time, but if nobody is interested in getting to know you, there's **** all you can do about it. And 99% of the people you meet will never go beyond that first impression. I'm a ****ing joke to everyone. So I just keep my head down.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I'm constantly disrespected. I'm way more confident than I used to be but yet every single time I meet someone new, they end up disrespecting me.

It's noticeable in how they respond to me and look at me. And the only conclusion is that I'm unattractive.

I'm a nice person and treat everyone with respect. I don't receive the same treatment. Maybe I look too nice and meek.
I'd say there's probably a strong probability that's why OP. (no offence obviously) People do tend to react to how a person presents themselves - it's a shame but I think it's often true.

Edit: not the nice part btw - just the meekness. (sorry)
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 05:12 AM
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How are they disrespecting you? Can you give examples?

The world is not my home. I'm just passing through.
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 09:25 AM
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You can be nice, but don't be too nice (submissive), if your a door mat to people yeah they will disrespect you because they know they can get away with treating you however they want and get what they want. Be assertive when its called for. I think having boundaries and being able to hold your own is what creates mutual respect.
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 09:44 AM
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Yup and then I do it back until they get the message and they stop.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 09:53 AM
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I dont have arrogance to expect anything from people. I dont really think in terms of their respect for me. much of my frustration is from my avoidance of conflict. I will acknowledge that much. it does bother me sometimes that people dont respect me or acknowledge the stuff I do. but that's because most people are evil ****s that cant tell good from bad. I get more annoyed with that fact than that they might disrespect me. am I meant to care if idiots dont like me?

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumplesty View Post
Everyone is disrespected. The people who disrespect you will, in turn, be disrespected themselves by other people. The people who I believe disrespected me had people talking behind their backs and so on.

It's something you have to get used to. It's just a vicious cycle of miserable people talking to other miserable people and it sucks.

People who treat you like that probably think their invincible or something idk. High self-esteem maybe.

It's best to try and be the better person and treat others with kindness. Don't be as miserable as a lot of people in this world.





Every single time it happens? Maybe a bit of oversensitivity on your part, or, its you who is the rude disrespectful ****er!


Just kidding of course. Some people are just pricks, so **** em, they aint important

**** your feelings !!


SFC
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 11:54 AM
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Eh


I'm not disrespected in an obvious way, but I'm treated like a child. Nobody in my office (of the 30-something in the entire building) have treated me in a manner that hasn't had me question their stance towards me.

While it's understandable that I'm nowhere near the caliber of the previous, more experienced personnel who were in my position, it kind of strips away at my confidence when everyone treats me like I don't know what I'm doing. Granted, my behavior and handling of most situations until recently have clearly given them that perception, a lot of that should simply be expected. I don't know why I should be expected to have an answer for everything.

The lousy thing is I feel pressure to leave the company for many decent reasons but I also feel guilty now that I'm in this one project that's a big deal for them.

The last thing I want is to leave them when they don't have another person on my "team" that's doing what I'm doing—not that what I'm doing is difficult... but if possible, I'd at least like to prep or integrate my replacement decently.... kind of like what was done for me.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 11:57 AM
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And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by That Random Guy View Post
I'm not disrespected in an obvious way, but I'm treated like a child. Nobody in my office (of the 30-something in the entire building) have treated me in a manner that hasn't had me question their stance towards me.

While it's understandable that I'm nowhere near the caliber of the previous, more experienced personnel who were in my position, it kind of strips away at my confidence when everyone treats me like I don't know what I'm doing. Granted, my behavior and handling of most situations until recently have clearly given them that perception, a lot of that should simply be expected. I don't know why I should be expected to have an answer for everything.

The lousy thing is I feel pressure to leave the company for many decent reasons but I also feel guilty now that I'm in this one project that's a big deal for them.

The last thing I want is to leave them when they don't have another person on my "team" that's doing what I'm doing—not that what I'm doing is difficult... but if possible, I'd at least like to prep or integrate my replacement decently.... kind of like what was done for me.

Obvs dont know your employers, but not much loyalty towards the workers these days

**** your feelings !!


SFC
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:27 PM
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!


Quote:
Originally Posted by D'avjo View Post
Obvs dont know your employers, but not much loyalty towards the workers these days
I told my family about staying on for the reason I mentioned and they told me that "it's their problem". There's no doubt in my mind that they'd kick me out to suit their needs, and legally it's for any reason. I just don't want to leave the way it is now. I'm also worried that I'll somehow mention it when I'm interviewing with another company.

IDK—nobody cares if I leave or if I stay but I feel like if I leave the way I'm planning to, I'll be burning down a bridge with these guys.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 03:58 PM
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Well, I am nothing that is worth respect in a first place, so I don't blame anyone for that...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 05:14 PM
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The people who disrespected the original poster, all of them had subconsciously been designed by the A.I Computers to generate thoughts that are fake to think of OP as not human. All of the human beings that I've encountered would advise me to not think a specific way, or they would say certain phrases in a sentence towards me on a unaware personal level. My existence of thoughts patterns, logic, and social communication limits people brain functions from speaking coherent sentences from their mind that is associated with a place, event, and time. I feel as if I startle people to an unconscious degree, where they see me pose as a threat to their mental process. The human beings all give me alike thoughts about my existence. In order to make me admit to my very existence of mind, that I never existed in front of humanity awareness.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers governing citizens 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 09:35 PM
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Try this, stop being nice to people you find out that dont deserve it. If you dont know how to be not nice, start practicing. Go on an online game and just talk trash and disrespect people. Go to a drive thru and dont say thank you.

Learning how to treat people with disrespect is a must if you want to really understand the value of what it means to treat people with kindess and respect. If you continue to only be nice and dont know how to respond to disrespect wth disrespect back, then your not a nice person. Your just a pushover. Theres a difference.

Nice people treat people nice cause they want to. Pushovers treat people nice cause they are scared about disrespecting them.

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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 11:31 PM
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Yes, but I've noticed it happened more when I was younger, and less as an adult. And it happens a lot more online than it does irl.
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 12-06-2019, 01:48 AM
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Definitely, but particularly by one person who is a legit narcissist. It is so damaging, I can't even begin to mend my wounds.

When it's with other people who disrespect me, at least I can defend myself, try to explain, and stay sane. But with a narcissist, there's no hope. If they perceive to be attacked in the slightest (and often these are imaginary attacks, for instance speaking in a slightly louder tone, or repeating something when it seems like they weren't paying attention -- all misconstrued as negative judgments on their character), they will tear your self esteem into the ground and make you feel like you are the bad person. Anything to feel superior. They are vicious and lack empathy, having no desire to understand anyone else's feelings but their own. This one in particular is even self aware and loves to hurt people intentionally.

--------

My advice is a bit split. First, I would say that you may be projecting your own insecurities on other people. Sometimes people just make weird faces. Sometimes our anxiety really does twist our perception, and I know I am guilty of this at times too.

I think the best thing to do is give them the benefit of the doubt first.

If it seems like they are treating you in a negative manner, ask them if there is something wrong. It doesn't have to be in a threatening way either. Some people you may find are just having a bad day, or maybe they're bad at social interactions. Some people may be legitimately judgmental -- and in those cases, confronting them by asking them if something is wrong may make them rethink their insensitive actions. And for those who simply don't care and are just rude....

They aren't worth it. And the best thing you can do is shrug it off and know that how they treated you is more reflective of their value than yours.

Know that you have intrinsic value, like every human being, and thus deserve respect. If you keep that belief at heart, it will soften the blows greatly, if not entirely. Other people's opinions matter to a degree, but not in regards to your intrinsic worth. That part is not up for debate.

If they make you feel sub-human, you can try to defend yourself, but some people just won't hear it or care. They lack empathy. I actually have some phrases that I like to use when it comes to this type of person:

-Thank you, but that's your opinion.
-I know what my value is.
-I know my truth and I'm not engaging with you.

And you can pretty much paraphrase from there. After that, make your graceful exit knowing you don't need to care about people who won't mirror basic respect.
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