Are You Always The Target? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 06:48 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 508

Are You Always The Target?


What is it about me that makes me unlikeable and for people to put me down.

I know I get treated like that because I'm ugly. But I'm a decent person. I don't even bother people and they are still awkward around me.

I can understand if I always try to talk to people and involve myself and that they will feel awkward, but I leave them alone.
melancholyscorpio is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 07:41 AM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 14,429
Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
What is it about me that makes me unlikeable and for people to put me down.

I know I get treated like that because I'm ugly. But I'm a decent person. I don't even bother people and they are still awkward around me.

I can understand if I always try to talk to people and involve myself and that they will feel awkward, but I leave them alone.
I don't know what you look like but I bet it's got more to do with awkwardness or being quiet than how you look. People don't know how to handle that - and it often leads to misunderstandings etc. I really wish there was some way I could help you - it's horrible they treat you like that.
harrison is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 08:25 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 508
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
What is it about me that makes me unlikeable and for people to put me down.

I know I get treated like that because I'm ugly. But I'm a decent person. I don't even bother people and they are still awkward around me.

I can understand if I always try to talk to people and involve myself and that they will feel awkward, but I leave them alone.
I don't know what you look like but I bet it's got more to do with awkwardness or being quiet than how you look. People don't know how to handle that - and it often leads to misunderstandings etc. I really wish there was some way I could help you - it's horrible they treat you like that.
I don't think I'm that awkward. I keep to myself because when I try to involve myself people treat me awkwardly.

Even family treat me awkwardly.

I try to be nice to people but most people avoid me when they see me coming. And I'm usually so tired seeing how people respond to me when they first meet me that I don't bother with them.

They sometimes will talk to me but not really talk to me.

I'm just feeling ****ty because my manager mocked me when I tried to bring up an issue. I understand that he's been under pressure but it's unnecessary for him to treat me like that. And I can't say anything back. He wouldn't treat someone else like that.

Well what he did is giving me the push to look for a new job. I've been unhappy with work but now I'm motivated to look for another job.

I don't mind staying back at work and I care but why do I care when no one else does. I'm not going to be stupid and stay back. I'm going to take proper breaks and leave on the dot.
melancholyscorpio is online now  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 08:37 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 14,429
Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I don't think I'm that awkward. I keep to myself because when I try to involve myself people treat me awkwardly.

Even family treat me awkwardly.

I try to be nice to people but most people avoid me when they see me coming. And I'm usually so tired seeing how people respond to me when they first meet me that I don't bother with them.

They sometimes will talk to me but not really talk to me.

I'm just feeling ****ty because my manager mocked me when I tried to bring up an issue. I understand that he's been under pressure but it's unnecessary for him to treat me like that. And I can't say anything back. He wouldn't treat someone else like that.

Well what he did is giving me the push to look for a new job. I've been unhappy with work but now I'm motivated to look for another job.

I don't mind staying back at work and I care but why do I care when no one else does. I'm not going to be stupid and stay back. I'm going to take proper breaks and leave on the dot.
Yeah, I know what you mean - it's hard to stand for ourselves and answer people back. I have trouble with that too - I always have. Especially at work. But it's very important for you to have your breaks etc - don't let them say you can't have those, it's not fair.

Maybe it's a good time to look for something else if you think so.
harrison is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-30-2019, 10:42 PM
SAS Member
 
Hussle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: New York City
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 1,189
Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I don't think I'm that awkward. I keep to myself because when I try to involve myself people treat me awkwardly.

Even family treat me awkwardly.

I try to be nice to people but most people avoid me when they see me coming. And I'm usually so tired seeing how people respond to me when they first meet me that I don't bother with them.

They sometimes will talk to me but not really talk to me.

I'm just feeling ****ty because my manager mocked me when I tried to bring up an issue. I understand that he's been under pressure but it's unnecessary for him to treat me like that. And I can't say anything back. He wouldn't treat someone else like that.

Well what he did is giving me the push to look for a new job. I've been unhappy with work but now I'm motivated to look for another job.

I don't mind staying back at work and I care but why do I care when no one else does. I'm not going to be stupid and stay back. I'm going to take proper breaks and leave on the dot.
That's your problem. Your assuming you can't say anything back. There's always a way to handle things and as long as you do them right, your job is safe. I recently confronted a coworker who is very high on the ranking file system if you know what I mean, my manager is on the same level as him but I asked to talk to him somewhere private and brought up an issue.

My only mistake was raising my voice a bit which is why I asked to do it privately, something I have to work on but still did enough to solve the matters with my own hands. Learning to speak and stand your ground and believing your viewpoint is something that most people need to work on. I use to think as well, oh he is one of the huge ups so I shouldn't say anything bla bla.

I've been telling myself if I feel that if something is really and morally wrong or just wrong that is being done to me and has nothing to do with my actual work performance I will start speaking up about it. It's uncomfortable but it's something I learned to handle and conquer. I'd rather be uncomfortable and do what's right for me because I'll be uncomfortable anyways when wrong is done to me.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Still thinking of one.
Hussle is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-30-2019, 10:47 PM
SAS Member
 
Hussle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: New York City
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 1,189
Also stop believing that you are always the target. This is something I've learned to get over as well. I've stopped asking why things happen to me cause I will never find out. I started focusing more on how to react to negative things when it targets me because we cannot avoid negative treatment from people.

It will always be there. Just like how we receive positive treatment from people. We also receive negative treatment as well. It's just a fact of life. You can't escape it but you can learn how to handle it.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Still thinking of one.
Hussle is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome