Are depressed people selfish? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-20-2020, 08:29 PM
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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 12:42 AM
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Yeah, i was raised around lumberjacks and farmers and i got told all my young life to stop being a sissy or a ***** and a to get over my sadness like a man. People just don't understand that anxiety or depression are much stronger than just being a bit shy and sad.
The ironic part is farmers have one of the highest rates of suicide of any profession. They get depressed about their financial troubles and possibly losing the family farm that has been in their family for generations. So they tell you to stop being a sissy or coward but a lot of them are the ones that end up giving up on life!

And when they said to "get over my sadness like a man" the men of our parents generation were not very good with that at all. Men in our parents generation basically just masked their symptoms of anxiety or depression with alcohol. Drink the blues away so to speak. Not very tough of them was it? Instead of dealing with their issues they just drown their problems in booze.

Not judging at all I like my stiff drink as well but thats how they did it.
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 01:30 AM
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I've met people whose depression made them incredibly self-absorbed. It made communicating difficult because their feelings were always centre stage and mine were never validated. In a way, I could understand it because depression is such an all-encompassing illness. It's very hard to see other people when you're in a lot of pain. On the other hand, those relationships were harming me, so there was a limit to how far I could take them. I know that it's terrible when you're depressed and your friends turn away from you but I also couldn't be just a sponge for another person's emotions. Not long-term.

So it's a difficult question for me. But you are not selfish for being depressed because it's not a choice. You've just been dealing with a bunch of people who don't understand depression and are unequipped for dealing with it. They are wrong to shame you. It's probably best to enagage them as little as possible and seek professional help (e.g. therapy).

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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 02:09 AM
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The ironic part is farmers have one of the highest rates of suicide of any profession.

Men in our parents generation basically just masked their symptoms of anxiety or depression with alcohol. Drink the blues away so to speak. Not very tough of them was it? Instead of dealing with their issues they just drown their problems in booze.
Yup yup, drinking was seen as manly, my fathers side of the family were farmers & also a mess of alcoholism & attempted suicide.

Just a month ago a farmer I used to work for expired by suicide, leaving a wife & 3 kids behind, while I was working there another worker did it, it's rife.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 04:10 AM
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They're selfish to people who do not understand depression.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 09:29 AM
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Yup yup, drinking was seen as manly, my fathers side of the family were farmers & also a mess of alcoholism & attempted suicide.

Just a month ago a farmer I used to work for expired by suicide, leaving a wife & 3 kids behind, while I was working there another worker did it, it's rife.
Yep that is my point. The farmers and stuff you grew up with were just as screwed up as everyone else if not more. So dont put any stock in what they said about being a sissy or coward. They had the same issues and dealt with their problems in unhealthy ways
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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 08:56 PM Thread Starter
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They're selfish to people who do not understand depression.
can you elaborate?
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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 09:01 PM
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Yes depressed people are selfish but not in a way they can control or should be looked down upon for.
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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 09:52 PM
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can you elaborate?

Depressed people are only seen as selfish to people who do not understand depression.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-24-2020, 10:33 PM
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Idk, I'm selfish... I think...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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