Anxiety - Social Anxiety Forum
Thread Tools
post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 06:43 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Age: 29
Posts: 2



Hoping someone will see this and offer some kind words. Or maybe just writing it out will help me.

For 15 years I battled depression, saw numerous therapists, was prescribed numerous anti depressants.

In the past 3 years I have successfully been able to wean myself off of them, and I felt so proud of myself. I didn't need them anymore and I felt free. I hated being dependent on taking a pill every day to feel normal. I also hated the withdrawal that I went though when I ran out of my pills (ended up in the ER multiple times from effexor and venlafaxine)
And I felt great for a while.
Recently though, there have been a lot of changes in my life, I moved back in with my mom (I'm 29), my cat ran away for 26 days (she's back now), I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. These things may seem minor. I'm not trying to say that my problems are worse than anyone else's because they are certainly not. But, for the past 3 months I have been experiencing debilitating anxiety. Every night without fail, around the same time, anxiety hits me out of seemingly nowhere. I can't eat, can't sleep, fluctuate rapidly between being too hot and too cold. My heart races.
I never had so much anxiety before in my life. It seems that the anxiety has taken place of the depression.
My problem is, I do not have health insurance.
I have already been to a walk in clinic in my neighborhood and surprisingly they were very nice and did give me a script for alprazolam, but with no refills.
This was maybe 2 weeks ago, and here I am with ~10 pills left.
I have an appointment to see a doctor on July 30th, but I am worried it is not soon enough.
I don't want to take pills for the rest of my life. I don't want to take pills at all.
But nothing else seems to help.
And the most frustrating thing is that I know I have a great life and I am blessed with a roof over my head and family and friends that love me. So why do I still feel anxious?
I beat myself up over it.
I wake up at 6am (not normal for me) and walk around my neighborhood and that seems to temporarily help.
I am having an internal struggle because I am desperate to not feel like **** and just feel normal but I don't want to rely on taking a pill everyday to feel ok.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
blackcatmom is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 09:08 AM
👁 👁
Paul's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California Republic
Language: None
Age: 39
Posts: 6,262
Originally Posted by blackcatmom
Every night without fail, around the same time, anxiety hits me out of seemingly nowhere.
Maybe you need to look at your routines, what you're eating/drinking and how long after a meal that is, that sort of thing... that it hits at the same time every night suggests a physical cause. Maybe try evening walks before it hits. Good luck.

SA Game | Sacramento SA Meetup

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
Paul is offline  
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 12:53 PM
SAS Member
Morpheus's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Philadelphia
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Posts: 1,113
Have you tried meditation and/or yoga? It might help, and it doesn't need a doctor.
Morpheus is offline  
post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 02:40 AM
SAS Member
Denwil24's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Leduc AB
Gender: Male
Posts: 295
Sounds like you might have to take something.
Denwil24 is offline  

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome