Addictions and SA - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 12:25 PM Thread Starter
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Addictions and SA


Hi everyone. How many of you have addictions that you connect directly to SA? It can be any addiction, not just substances. I'm 31 now and I got my first benzo recipe (xanax) when I was 18. Before that doctor-visit I had so severe SA that it was almost impossible to leave the apartment. Things got a bit better with Xanax but the like the story often goes, it turns against you in long run and increase the anxiety. It also ruined my 5 years relationship, the only woman I have been with.

I quitted Xanax slowly 2018, but I'm still on a little dose of Valium. So not benzo-free yet. My other addiction is weed, daily smoker for about 5 year now... I smoke/vape it very often before I go to social situations, it really helps and I'm much more relaxed. But the long-term use has it downsides and my short-memory is poor and I don't really care about anything. About seeking a job, going on dates etc. But I understand myself why I like weed, it is the few things that make me still smile.

Everyday I wonder if SA is the only reason why I have so addictive personality. At least the Xanax -addiction would have been avoided.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 01:39 PM
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Xanax is nasty and very addictive - I took that for a long time. It really get's it's hooks into you - and because of it's short half-life you keep taking more and more.

I'm not sure about this whole "addictive personality" thing. I know I used to have a drinking problem at one stage too. (while I was taking the Xanax - not a good combination as I'm sure you know). I think it's just because we're constantly looking for ways to reduce our anxiety and turn off the chatter inside our heads.

In the past I did everything to excess - it didn't matter what it was. It could be food, cigarettes - anything. I think part of that was mania though. I tend to really go overboard.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 01:42 PM
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Does not compute.






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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 02:10 PM
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I have had so many addictions I lost track. But a small list :

Very first addiction Valium (took it for over a year at hight doses at the end - 40/50 mg daily), after that I switched to something even more potent (diclazepam). Not registered as a med but research substance. So easy to get and 10x more potent than diazepam. Valium doesn't even compare to the effect you get with diclazepam.

After nearly 18 months of daily abuse, I quite cold turkey. Believe it or not, but I thought I was a goner. The first two days are fine because of the long half life.

After the third you start to feel very bad. The fourth day was HELL. I could barely stand. For about a few hours I kept vomiting and vomiting. At one point, I started to feel like I was going to have a seizure and decided to take a small dose of Valium (2.5 mg) and it really helped. After six days I was feeling way better. And after 10 days, I considered myself off the benzos.

For the next 2 years (yes two years) I didn't took a single benzo pill. Only started again because of problems at work with a coworker. But what I am taking is very small. Max 5 mg Valium per day or sometimes 5 mg clozan.


Than : Phenibut. After only two weeks of usage, I found myself addicted to it. Was quite unexpectedly hard to stop. For two days couldn't leave home, neither eat. But I got over it and threw away what I had left.

Than : Opioids. I took many different opioids. Oxycodone, Durogesic (fentanyl), codein, pholcodine, ethylmorphine etc.

I never took them for long periods, so withdrawal was never very bad and I always got very easily off them. It's also due to the fact that it is very difficult to get those "meds" out of my workplace. So impossible to get addicted.

Alcool : The first year in university, I used to drink a lot to somehow control my SA. Could go up to a few beers per day. I eventually stopped drinking because I was afraid of failing the year because of it. Nowadays, I barely ever drink.

I am probably forgetting a few others. The sad part, none of them actually helped me with my SA.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 02:27 PM
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Does not compute.
Everybody here knows you are addicted to plastic surgery, You even opened a thread about getting a boob job done.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 02:30 PM
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I have had so many addictions I lost track. But a small list :

Very first addiction Valium (took it for over a year at hight doses at the end - 40/50 mg daily), after that I switched to something even more potent (diclazepam). Not registered as a med but research substance. So easy to get and 10x more potent than diazepam. Valium doesn't even compare to the effect you get with diclazepam.

After nearly 18 months of daily abuse, I quite cold turkey. Believe it or not, but I thought I was a goner. The first two days are fine because of the long half life.

After the third you start to feel very bad. The fourth day was HELL. I could barely stand. For about a few hours I kept vomiting and vomiting. At one point, I started to feel like I was going to have a seizure and decided to take a small dose of Valium (2.5 mg) and it really helped. After six days I was feeling way better. And after 10 days, I considered myself off the benzos.

For the next 2 years (yes two years) I didn't took a single benzo pill. Only started again because of problems at work with a coworker. But what I am taking is very small. Max 5 mg Valium per day or sometimes 5 mg clozan.


Than : Phenibut. After only two weeks of usage, I found myself addicted to it. Was quite unexpectedly hard to stop. For two days couldn't leave home, neither eat. But I got over it and threw away what I had left.

Than : Opioids. I took many different opioids. Oxycodone, Durogesic (fentanyl), codein, pholcodine, ethylmorphine etc.

I never took them for long periods, so withdrawal was never very bad and I always got very easily off them. It's also due to the fact that it is very difficult to get those "meds" out of my workplace. So impossible to get addicted.

Alcool : The first year in university, I used to drink a lot to somehow control my SA. Could go up to a few beers per day. I eventually stopped drinking because I was afraid of failing the year because of it. Nowadays, I barely ever drink.

I am probably forgetting a few others. The sad part, none of them actually helped me with my SA.
You've been on a lot of things mate. As I've said before it's very interesting seeing things from the perspective of someone that's also a pharmacist.

In keeping with this thread - what's your take on this whole "disease" concept for people that are alcoholics for example? I used to be forced to go to meetings (and NA ones too of course) when I was in rehab/hospital sometimes getting off the benzos. I always just took it as an oversimplification of their situation.

Sitting through their meetings was usually unbearable - so many smug older people there that liked to be rude to new people. And they'd be justifying their previous drinking with talk of their powerlessness over their "disease."
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 02:41 PM
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I've been clean from heroin about eight years now. Self medicating my anxiety in my teens is what led to me becoming a drug addict. Started out with weed and pills, but weed made my anxiety much worse, so didn't do it long. Then ecstasy pretty heavy for a few years. Then got into opiates and that's when it went downhill for me. Although all the legal troubles I ever had were directly from taking benzos.

I guess I'm addicted to the gym now. Went from devoting a ton of time to getting high to devoting a ton of time eating healthy and lifting weights. At least it's a positive thing for a change. I tend to have no moderation for anything I get into. If I get into a video game it'll be all I do in my free time and same with reading books or binge watching stuff or whatever.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 03:09 PM
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In keeping with this thread - what's your take on this whole "disease" concept for people that are alcoholics for example? I used to be forced to go to meetings (and NA ones too of course) when I was in rehab/hospital sometimes getting off the benzos. I always just took it as an oversimplification of their situation.
I don't agree with addictions being considered as a "disease". Nobody forces people to drink, get high on drugs. They do it on their own.
That said, I somehow agree with helping them cure their addictions. The problem with this, is that I see way to many drug addicts using subsitution meds (completely covered by health insurance over here) as a free way to get high. In five years, I only saw one single client successfully beating his addiction to opioids with a methadone program. Only one out of a few dozens. I see all those programs more like a mean by the government to stop drug addicts of using violent ways of getting their drugs.

Can't really talk about meetings with other addicts. But I know that it is easier to beat an addiction with the support of someone else. Family members, friends. I do think psychological support is very important to overcome addictions.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 03:10 PM
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I've been clean from heroin about eight years now. Self medicating my anxiety in my teens is what led to me becoming a drug addict. Started out with weed and pills, but weed made my anxiety much worse, so didn't do it long. Then ecstasy pretty heavy for a few years. Then got into opiates and that's when it went downhill for me. Although all the legal troubles I ever had were directly from taking benzos.

I guess I'm addicted to the gym now. Went from devoting a ton of time to getting high to devoting a ton of time eating healthy and lifting weights. At least it's a positive thing for a change. I tend to have no moderation for anything I get into. If I get into a video game it'll be all I do in my free time and same with reading books or binge watching stuff or whatever.
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Would be interested to know what kind of legal troubles you got with benzos. It's kind of odd to hear you never had problems with hard drugs but you did with benzos

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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 03:24 PM
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I don't agree with addictions being considered as a "disease". Nobody forces people to drink, get high on drugs. They do it on their own.
That said, I somehow agree with helping them cure their addictions. The problem with this, is that I see way to many drug addicts using subsitution meds (completely covered by health insurance over here) as a free way to get high. In five years, I only saw one single client successfully beating his addiction to opioids with a methadone program. Only one out of a few dozens. I see all those programs more like a mean by the government to stop drug addicts of using violent ways of getting their drugs.

Can't really talk about meetings with other addicts. But I know that it is easier to beat an addiction with the support of someone else. Family members, friends. I do think psychological support is very important to overcome addictions.
Yes, I always just saw it as people of a certain intellectual capability finding something they can latch onto to help deal with their problems. It's absurd.

Obviously good they get the support from other members though - that would definitely help. Plus of course telling themselves it's not really their fault.

That's interesting. I had a close friend for ages a fair while ago that was on methadone after being a heroin addict. He was constantly searching for new ways to get high. He had a small cabinet beside his bed that had tablets that would give you pretty much any emotion you wanted. He's dead now though - a shame, he was a nice guy and very funny.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 04:03 PM
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Would be interested to know what kind of legal troubles you got with benzos. It's kind of odd to hear you never had problems with hard drugs but you did with benzos
High doses of benzos just make me lose all inhibitions and become violent and steal. Never stolen anything in my life when I wasn't on benzos. It was usually stupid stuff. I'd black out and wake up with random stuff like a toothbrush or dash ornament out of someone's car.

@harrison , I think you've also mentioned episodes on benzos?

Search "xanax and stealing" on Google, it's really not uncommon. I'm a really calm and sensible person. Even on heroin I had no desire get myself into any trouble. Throw in a bunch of benzos I'd try to fight strangers and loot random stuff from stores. Got arrested for it quite a few times. Actually went to prison for almost two years for it after they sent me to rehab and it didn't work.

Also agree with your other post about methadone. I went to a methadone clinic for a couple years. It didn't help. I think they're just profit driven places taking advantage of addicts. The clinic charged like $14 a day and I'd actually had a prescription for methadone at one time and it was like $30 a month. But like you said it's just getting high legally. It's best to just get off and get it over with.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 04:20 PM
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High doses of benzos just make me lose all inhibitions and become violent and steal. Never stolen anything in my life when I wasn't on benzos. It was usually stupid stuff. I'd black out and wake up with random stuff like a toothbrush or dash ornament out of someone's car.

@harrison , I think you've also mentioned episodes on benzos?

Search "xanax and stealing" on Google, it's really not uncommon. I'm a really calm and sensible person. Even on heroin I had no desire get myself into any trouble. Throw in a bunch of benzos I'd try to fight strangers and loot random stuff from stores. Got arrested for it quite a few times. Actually went to prison for almost two years for it after they sent me to rehab and it didn't work.

Also agree with your other post about methadone. I went to a methadone clinic for a couple years. It didn't help. I think they're just profit driven places taking advantage of addicts. The clinic charged like $14 a day and I'd actually had a prescription for methadone at one time and it was like $30 a month. But like you said it's just getting high legally. It's best to just get off and get it over with.
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Yeah, I'm still unsure about how much was the benzos and how much might have been mania at the time tbh mate. I used to blame a lot on the benzos and I'm sure some of it was warranted. I can relate to the rage/anger - I could get very angry on them. But I can now when I'm off them too so I don't know what to make of that really.

When I stole a lot of stuff I'm pretty sure I was manic for at least part of it. I was staying at a 5 star hotel here at the time and doing other really crazy stuff. Plus I wasn't on benzos then - had gotten off them and was on an SSRI I think. I was mad as a hatter - driving an unregistered car around the city centre and going through red lights. (according to the police - I still think it was pretty orange if you ask me)

I take a very small dose of Valium occasionally nowadays - whn the anxiety is very high. I think they seem to make me slightly depressed if anything now. And I would never take them every day like I used to with the Xanax. That was terrible and very hard to get off.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 02:51 PM Thread Starter
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I have had so many addictions I lost track. But a small list :

Very first addiction Valium (took it for over a year at hight doses at the end - 40/50 mg daily), after that I switched to something even more potent (diclazepam). Not registered as a med but research substance. So easy to get and 10x more potent than diazepam. Valium doesn't even compare to the effect you get with diclazepam.

After nearly 18 months of daily abuse, I quite cold turkey. Believe it or not, but I thought I was a goner. The first two days are fine because of the long half life.

After the third you start to feel very bad. The fourth day was HELL. I could barely stand. For about a few hours I kept vomiting and vomiting. At one point, I started to feel like I was going to have a seizure and decided to take a small dose of Valium (2.5 mg) and it really helped. After six days I was feeling way better. And after 10 days, I considered myself off the benzos.

.
Damn man.. sounds inhuman.. Wish I hade the strength to do the same, I'm on 30mg Valium /day now. When I was on Xanax I had the dose 6-8mg for years, that's like 150mg valium /day, so the situation is better. I try to quit Valium stage by stage this year.

I didn't steal when I was on Xanax, but it made me do some other things that I regret much. If I took any alcohol the same day as I took Xanax, I tried to keep like 12h gap between the pill and the first drink. But sometimes the gap was too small and as a result I became a moron who had a big mouth and got in to bar fights etc ... I have been sober from alcohol now couple of years, it was an easy decision. ofc I smoke weed everyday, but weed+Valium combination can't kill me, alcohol+Valium can.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 03:24 PM
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Damn man.. sounds inhuman.. Wish I hade the strength to do the same, I'm on 30mg Valium /day now. When I was on Xanax I had the dose 6-8mg for years, that's like 150mg valium /day, so the situation is better. I try to quit Valium stage by stage this year.

I didn't steal when I was on Xanax, but it made me do some other things that I regret much. If I took any alcohol the same day as I took Xanax, I tried to keep like 12h gap between the pill and the first drink. But sometimes the gap was too small and as a result I became a moron who had a big mouth and got in to bar fights etc ... I have been sober from alcohol now couple of years, it was an easy decision. ofc I smoke weed everyday, but weed+Valium combination can't kill me, alcohol+Valium can.
i didn't have much of a choice. I made up my mind I would stop with the benzos. I was starting to have problems remembering things at work. I took 10 days off and so used them to quit cold turkey. It is extremely painful. But, it has one advantage over reducing slowly the doses. Withdrawal is SO BAD, that you simply want to stay away from benzos to never go through that ever again. It somehow worked because for 2 years I didn't took a single pill again.

To bad that my job + SA forced me eventually to take benzos again. The doses I am taking aren't big. 5 mg per day is on the lower end. I probably could stop it easily compared to back than.


A combination of alcohol + Valium will most likely not kill. I did both many times. You are probably thinking about "Alcohol + barbiturate" which can easily kill you.

People tend to overestimate how dangerous mixing alcohol with benzos is. To give you an idea, the LD50 of diazepam on rats is 1200 mg/kg. You can't assume it is the same for humans. But it definitely gives you an idea how dangerous a med really is. To kill a human with diazepam, you would need to swallow a huge amount of pills and you would likely fall asleep way before taking enough of them.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 09:28 PM
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I think it’s very easy to drift into addiction with SA, social situations are constant for most people & if you find something that helps you cope of course you’re gonna take loads of it & possibly to the point of addiction.

Personally, I smoke/vape a lot of herb but not socially but usually daily & the first week when I take breaks my sleep tends to go to **** & I tend to feel restless so I suppose you could consider it an addiction but the worst withdrawals I’ve ever had was from stopping anti-depressants cold turkey. The docs never tell you their addictive outright, they just say when it’s time “we’ll ease you off”. Other than that it’s porn
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