A Real 40 Year Old Virgin - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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A Real 40 Year Old Virgin


Hi, everyone. In about six months I will be a literal 40 year old virgin...it's not just a character in a movie. I see all these people on the forum that are college-aged, and not to diminish their feelings/ experiences, but at least they have time on their side. I wish I was still young and could do something about it before it's too late; I feel like my life is over. Never been kissed, no date, no nothing.
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post #2 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:11 PM
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Goodlord.. i feel for you, that really sucks bro.

bye
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post #3 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:12 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that you could become a 40 year old virgin. It must of been hard for you to admit that and also you might find someone who you share those experiences with. Its never really too late but with hope I'm sure you will find someone.

"The darkness is death - we can speak, but we are not heard. We can scream but they turn their backs. We can run, but we cannot catch them. It is the dream where arms and legs won't work the way they should, and the air is too thick to breathe. Loved ones walk a mile ahead, forgetting to stop as we fall behind. This is the reality of the darkness. We are buried alive inside ourselves."-Dana-Christene Umanetz
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post #4 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by DisembodiedVoice View Post
Hi, everyone. In about six months I will be a literal 40 year old virgin...it's not just a character in a movie. I see all these people on the forum that are college-aged, and not to diminish their feelings/ experiences, but at least they have time on their side. I wish I was still young and could do something about it before it's too late; I feel like my life is over. Never been kissed, no date, no nothing.
Wow that really sucks. I'm sorry .
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post #5 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:19 PM
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It’s not too late. Don’t give up

“We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.”

http://www.socialanxietycures.org
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post #6 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:35 PM
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Age is just a number, don't get too hung up on it. Have you tried online dating, or posting an ad on craigslist? I hope you are not waiting for "the one" because it's not worth it. Sex is not that big of a deal, but obviously it's bothering you so maybe if you got it out of the way with some meaningless hookup you might become more confident in yourself. Good luck
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post #7 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:55 PM
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Pay a prostitute for sex!
Get rid of this huge pressure and go on with your life!
There's a lot more fun things to do then sex!
But humans are curious ,you just gotta do it so you can give it a proper place in your life!
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post #8 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:00 PM
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^^^ I would def agree especially if i was getting older
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post #9 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by mellie View Post
I hope you are not waiting for "the one" because it's not worth it. Sex is not that big of a deal, but obviously it's bothering you so maybe if you got it out of the way with some meaningless hookup you might become more confident in yourself. Good luck
Uhh. That's not the way everyone feels. Just sayin'. Sex is a big deal for some people, myself included. I'm glad that I waited for someone that I developed deep feelings for.
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post #10 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:15 PM
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It's far better to be a virgin, even later in life, than to have sex, just so you can say you had it. I wish I had waited for the right man, my first time was with a complete a-hole. He certainly wasn't worthy of something so personal.
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post #11 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:18 PM
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I'm The 35-Year-Old Virgin! Just like you, no dating ever. It's almost comical.
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post #12 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:20 PM
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I'm very sorry to hear that.
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post #13 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:21 PM
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I'm a 30 year old virgin, but at the rate I'm going, nothing will change by 40.

It would take a drastic turnaround for me to get to the point of dating.
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post #14 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:41 PM
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im 21 and ill be 40 in ur shoes.....i go to clubs...i go out....no girls want me......it really sucks....not even a French kids from a girl. you say u wish u were young AGAin so u could change it? well being young doesnt change a thing, we are still as helpless as you!
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post #15 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:13 PM
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Pay a prostitute for sex!
That's what I will do if I don't lose my virginity early.
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post #16 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:31 PM
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Uhh. That's not the way everyone feels. Just sayin'. Sex is a big deal for some people, myself included. I'm glad that I waited for someone that I developed deep feelings for.
I can't help but notice these comments often come from females!
Not to be offensive or rude!
But I just think females have a different approach on sex and the first time.And it's only normal we're different after all.

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It's far better to be a virgin, even later in life, than to have sex, just so you can say you had it. I wish I had waited for the right man, my first time was with a complete a-hole. He certainly wasn't worthy of something so personal.
But you have to imagine yourself being a man!
How are you going to seduce or attract someone properly when you're completely plagued by inconfidence,low self-esteem and more!

There's always a chance for bad outcomes even with someone you meet the proper way.
They might laugh at the inexperience of such an old virgin.
Or they might not mind there's no telling.
I really think when you're a 40 year old virgin you don't care about the emotional whatif and whatnot you just want to do it!
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post #17 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:40 PM
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having sex doesn't change anything, all it does is stops you wondering. You think you will feel like the king of the world afterwards, your social anxiety problems will go away and that talking to girls will be easy, it doesn't happen. Its not about what you have/haven't done its how you act
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post #18 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:41 PM
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I lost my virginity to a guy when I was 19 and he turned out to be a douchebag. I wasn't in love with him or in a seriously committed relationship with him. It was a summer fling. It was the summer before my last year of college and I was no closer to finding someone I loved or wanted to be in a relationship with, so I decided to just go for it and experience it with someone. Sex will probably be much better if you are doing with someone you care about, but it will still be sex. And you will still be fulfilling that curiosity and releasing a lot of sexual frustration. So I'm not really opposed to the thought of him going to a prostitute (as long as its safe & protected), its probably not an ideal situation. But having a social anxiety disorder is not ideal either.
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post #19 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:48 PM
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Well if you watched the movie it turned out well for him!
I'm not 40 but I'm in a similar situation.
There's still hope you'll find that special someone.
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post #20 of 118 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Daniel89 View Post
Well if you watched the movie it turned out well for him!
I'm not 40 but I'm in a similar situation.
There's still hope you'll find that special someone.
some people would say "but that's just a movie!" even though nothing really unrealistic happened.

the dude in that movie couldn't get laid because he had given up. he was able to get it done because he got out there and did some things that made him really uncomfortable and scared. but he persevered because he stuck with it and went through the bull****. that's the lesson you should be taking from the movie.
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