It all started in late 2017.
My brother (who I don't actually know b/c we grew up separately) contacted me and told me some stuff about his childhood. Afterwards, I was flooded with memories. I basically rethought mine and his childhood and the entire family. It took more than a year and was pretty rough. Afterwards though (in early 2019), I had gained an entirely new perspective. So it was good, actually. The process was rough though.
Then, other stuff started coming back to me (mainly the relationship with my Highschool sweetheart). Those memories would occasionally pop up and I would randomly start crying.
In early 2020, love sickness over my Highschool sweetheart hit me badly. I thought about him again in the summer of 2020 and then in the fall. In December (about 7 weeks ago) the entire thing came back to me. Virtually every detail about that 5 year relationship + the love sickness, the breakup and the aftermath. That lasted until a few days ago. I was glad when I felt that I had reached the tail end of all of that.
A couple of days ago then, other memories started popping up. I suddenly remembered that I was very nearly abducted when I was at University in the UK. It was a fellow student and research assistant at the department where I studied. At the time, I just perceived it as an annoying incident that he should say sorry for. My boyfriend at the time was alarmed as was my therapist and every single member of staff as well as students at the department. I couldn't understand why it was such big deal. I just wanted him to say sorry for being rude.
So a couple of days ago it hit me that the fellow student wasn't being rude back then, he actually tried to abduct me. I also realized that he was gone afterwards b/c he was sectioned (= forcibly detained under the mental health act) for what he tried to do to me. The staff, my therapist and everyone else knew about it. I never realized until now. That's quite something to process.
At the time of that event, lots of members of staff and my therapist had lots of conversations with me. As part of those conversations I told them about that one single time in my life that I drank so much that I blacked out. Some guy took me home. It sounded like a story of sexual assault. I still cannot remember what happened but it doesn't look good. Based on that story, everyone knew at the time (except for me, just like with the abduction). So I am dealing with that realization now as well.
On top, I am remembering the time a friend of mine brought me back a dress from Asia. I was offered b/c the dress was huge. I am not that fat! I said. I was so offended about the dress being huge that I never tried it on. I threw it away. She ended the friendship shortly after that. I remembered that just about an hour ago. I feel terrible about throwing away a gift and starting a fight over it.
So, it has been 3+ years of lots and lots of memories and re-thinking stuff. Pretty much all the important events in my life have come back to me. God knows what else will pop up in my head.
I have no idea why all of this is coming back to me. I feel overwhelmed all of the time. WTF.