The last time I had real friends was when I was around 13-14, so over 20 years ago, I had a rough time at school & was allowed to leave & isolate myself instead of working things through at the time, in retrospect that was a mistake.
As a result I wasn't socialised properly as a young adult & it affected my growth as an adult in a very negative way.
A few aquintances from work, family friends etc have come & gone but it mostly comes down to me, I still always end up isolating myself instead of let anyone in, cause I'm so stubborn, honestly I'm kinda broken & tired of always fighting an uphill battle & quite sick of myself at this point.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. - Macbeth