Join Date: Apr 2020
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My flatmate only talks about herself and I'm already tired of it
And I don't want to sound mean, but I'm very tired... I can't keep this anymore.
I mean, a month ago I ran away from a flat where I was confined with a mean and violent man. I basically ran away from there and my uni helped me by finding me a new place. I met my flatmate, she's a nice girl, I mean, or at least she was at the beginning. She was kind. We would buy things together, she would introduce me to her other friends and we would cook together. So for the first month, it was all fine.
But now that we know each other more, she just doesn't let me talk. All she does is talk about herself and herself, and her problems and wishes and her job and relationships and plans, and she's driving me crazy. She's got to the point too where she's trying to use me, like she would say she's too busy with her job and let me do all the cooking and cleaning just to finish whatever she was doing as I finish cooking.
We don't cook together anymore and if I ever say I feel down or have a problem she's always like: Oh, yes, same happens to me. No matter what I say, she's always had it worse in her life and again she shifts the conversation towards her.
I've tried everything: not to let her interrupt me, but then she will start raising her voice; try to ask for her advice on something, but she always ends up saying she's had a more serious problem than mine; try to avoid her by staying in my room, but then she'll start making any noise to bother me. Why don't I say anything to her directly? Because she's always telling me she's still coming out of depression and I fear she may hurt herself if I ever tell her I'm upset with her.
But I'm so tired... I'm literally counting the days for me to get out of here and never come back. She thinks I'll stay by the end of this month, but actually I'm thinking on leaving. I just hope she would stay even more days at her boyfriend's house and leave me alone.
Because I don't want to be mean, I understand she's been through a lot in her life and all she wants now is people to listen to her and pamper her, but it is just way too unbalanced that I just can't deal with it all the time. It's ok once in a while, but every single day... I can't... I'm already awkward with social interactions and I've never had any healthy friendship before so I don't know what's wrong with me and why I keep meeting people like this... why am I always the one on the listener's end? Are my problems really that trivial compared to other people's?
I don't know, what do you guys think? Do you have any advice as to what I can do while this month passes? Until I can get out of here and never ever come back? Right now, what I did was tell her that I will be eating at different hours "not to bother her when she's so busy". That way I'll cook only for me and restrain her from turning me into her personal chef. I'm also spending more time by myself in my room, not interacting with her at all even if we live in the same house.
I'm also thinking that once this quarantine is over I will try to be outside of home the more that I can. I just don't want to hurt her feelings because I'm afraid she may harm herself as she is known to have done in the past. But no way I'm becoming a "housewife" ever again. I was forced to be one for 8 years, I'm not falling on that trap ever again.
So, do you think these are a good ideas?