i feel hard to make friends - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-10-2020, 04:58 AM Thread Starter
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i feel hard to make friends

Hello. I am 25. I think making friends is much harder than when i was a kid. First, it is hard to find free time to hang out with friends. I also find it difficult to let conversations into deeper aspects though i can sometimes find common values/ stuffs to share with each other. This always happens when i talk to male/female colleagues close to my age. It feels like very hard to move on another stage which any words make great differences to each other. They sounded like they didn't care about my words so much.

I remember when i was a kid, its like a piece of cake to click/connect with anyone in schools. All things came very naturally to me. I could ask them if they watched one of the tv show series last night/week. And the conversations went into deep sides very quickly. and then we were super excited about talking about the actors/actress. Having a blast with fds was very easy. Do anyone can relate to me?
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-10-2020, 12:55 PM
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I cannot relate at all. I've had difficulty making friends since I was a kid, because I was really socially awkward. I always felt like a loser. I especially had a lot of difficulty making friends with girls, as I felt like they thought I was weird or creepy, that they didn't want anything to do with me. I found it a bit easier during high school, but college was truly some of my loneliest days. I recall taking courses with a small-knit group of about 25 students in third year, and not a single person talked to me or even really said hi. I felt so invisible, so worthless. I honestly felt like I didn't belong in the world, and I cried all the time after class when I was by myself at home. I escaped through video games; it was not really a healthy obsession.

As an adult, it's still hard. I've still never really overcome the idea that "nobody likes me", "I'm a loser", "I am unlikable/unlovable". It feels like something is absolutely wrong with me compared to someone like you who seemed to have an easy time making friends. I just didn't have that same kind of confidence as you.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-13-2020, 08:21 PM
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As you get older due to people having other commitments and obligations it becomes difficult to make friends. I'm blessed with having two close friends and several acquaintances who I haven't been seeing due to the pandemic, but I still keep in touch with them. I focus on myself and make friends less nowadays because I also really enjoy solitude. Being a hermit is actually awesome at the best of times.

I think if you let things happen naturally, it will just occur. However, people's opinions of others and the fact our identities develop at a certain age make it harder to make friends as an adult as well. You don't want to let people in as easily as you did when you were a kid.

I commend you for trying as hard as you have so far, and hope you keep going. I know my time here is far from over.
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