Honoring your parents after...
In the shadow of my parents and their career, I have a lot of flaws. I don't think I grew up the perfect son as they would have wanted. I am 30 now and in my life I made a lot of mistakes. Addicted to computer games, postponing my education, I feel like a failure. Whenever I watch the success of my parents and feel their love and devotion towards me I feel ashamed. I feel like I could have done better with the life they gave me.
My father, 60 year old pilot captain went of with retirement today. In his career, everyone loved him, and threw him a bit party when he finished.
I do try to show appreciation of my parents when I can. I go home, spend time with them, cut the lawn, watch the house dog, do physical work around the house. I just don't feel satisfied doing so. I still feel they gave me too much and I can't return it. I tell my dad I'm proud of him. I tell my mother I love her.
Writing this I am drinking and felling a few tears. Tomorrow is another day at work and I'm just providing health care to old people. I'm in the national army. I try to improve my life. But I feel like a failure... Thanks for reading.