Ugh, I hate that all of us have ****ty families lmao. It makes me mad like why tf have a family if you're gonna make it unhealthy and basically **** up your children ffs. :l
When I was younger, I made excuses to love my father but we kept on having major fights/life disagreements, then one day (I think I was 17/18 ) we had another big fight and I was over it, I just gave in, I knew I hated him deep down and stopped speaking to him, stopped making excuses for him. It's been years now and the damage is so deep it can never be repaired, I fking hate him so much, there's literally nothing he can do that can repair the relationship between us.
Ironic because usually when we'd fight before (when I was younger), my innocent child self would talk me back to apologizing and making up "he's your only father" etc but now I don't give a **** anymore because everything's bad that's happened to me and our family, him and mum are the cause.
With mum, I think I love her so I still talk to her, but her vices kill me and make me miserable. Dad's vices are so **** tho, his are part of the big reason I fking hate him and don't respect him because they ruined my life, not just mine, my brother's as well, our health too. But anyway, just both of their vices combined created this huge big ****ing mess that could only result in tragedy... that's where we're all headed basically...
But yeh TL;DR, I basically only talk to mum, fking fking hate dad and never talk to him and am uncomfortable in his presence and hate EVERYTHING he does. Sometimes I feel pity for him with how fking pathetic and horrible he is, but then I get so depressed because I actually came from him, and then want to kill myself. It's like holy fk, I was one of your spermys well fking **** this sucks. Life sucks. I already wanna die if I have to be related to.. you. wow fk.
lol ok Im done. fk me jkust talking about family gets my blood boiling. fking POS, "family" god what a concept.
I just want to be from a normal modest family with common sense. =_=
I don't wanna exist