Originally Posted by Supalady05
That was a very long post.... but it was definitely worth the read... I couldn't agree with you more. I've always let people control how I feel... whether it was if my friends calling me just to see if I'm ok, and if they don't call me, then it makes me upset... or if my boyfriend wasn't able to do something that he promised he would do, that would make me feel upset as well... Your post helped me to realize that NO ONE is responsible for how I feel or how I react to stiatutions in life, except me. And it all begins with my thoughts... Thanks for helping me to realize that.
I wanted to respond to your post so I can further explain what I mean by responsiblity for how one feels...
"I've always let people control how I feel... "
People can't control how you feel. They cannot. There is no way. Someone may say that you are a loser or a bum or w/e but it's not their words that ultimately hurt you. It's you and you only. There are people who choose to let comments roll off their backs as soon as they are said. I have tried to do this many times and it is hard unless you can get to a point where you understand deeply that YOU are in control of your thoughts, which obviously, gives you control over your feelings or reactions to those thoughts. Everything starts with a thought. Nothing ever created wasn't without a thought first. Look around you. Nothing. Not even the "t" in t
It's not a bad thing at all to take responsibility for how you think. There is nothing negative about that. Do you want to feel different? You can do it. Anyone can do it. For some it may take much, much practice and countless hours of reading positive books and listening to tapes, seminars, etc... For others, this message alone. All you have to do it keep at it.
First step is to take responsibility for how you think and react towards things. Remember to take it easy on yourself and avoid self-putdowns. You should take it easy and just look at it as a challenge and not as something you cannot do. You will never overcome anxiety. You will only learn how to minimize it and control it. Everyone feels anxiety... you cannot delete it.
But back to the first step... If you can, try to develope a taste for harmonious meanings such as, love, friendships, relationships, mercy, etc. Anything involving fear is negative. SO ANYTIME YOU FEEL FEAR THINK ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT YOU FEAR AND JOT IT DOWN OR REMEMBER IT. This is important because you are now identifying your negative thought. So for instance, if you are going to the store and you feel anxious or nervous try to identify what it is that is making you nervous. Is it what people might think of you on entering? Is it a fear of feeling anxiety? What is it? Write it down or remember it. Doing this first step will help you realize that what you fear revolves around what you THINK. Very important to understand.
Second step is to build positive dialog over your negative thought. Go to the original posting in order to get link to find out how to do this.
Third step is probably the hardest until you get used to it. You must do whatever it is your fear REGARDLESS of how you feel. This will give you insight and build your esteem and lessen your limitations. DO IT ANYWAYS!! Remember, it's all in your head. It isn't real. You won't know what it feels like until you have come out of it. And you will ALWAYS come out of it successfully. There is no failure when it comes to doing your fears. Facing your fears ONLY builds you up and expands your possibilities. Doing nothing will do nothing for you unless you can build positive imagery on w/e it is you fear, and if you can do that then you'll find yourself doing the things you once feared anyways because you'll want to see how far you can push yourself. No matter how slow it may take you, you will automatically do what you think about because EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A THOUGHT. You cannot do ANYTHING without a thought. The more you think about positives and self nurturing the more you'll find yourself WANTING to do those things. And that is written in stone. Remember, positives attract positives and negatives attract negatives. There is nothing no one can do if you think positively because HOW YOU THINK DETERMINES THE WAY YOU FEEL!! Other people shouldn't be held accountable.
I hope this is inspiration for you all...
Read things that motivate you. Listen to ideas and positive lectures. Open you mind and remember that fear is negative. Fear is your ultimate limitation in life. Fear immobilizes you BECAUSE FEAR IS NEGATIVE THINKING. Change your thoughts and the rest will follow. That is guaranteed to you! Don't be hard on yourself in the process because by trying too hard or putting yourself down you only add NEGATIVE condensations to yourself. Respect yourself knowing that by respecting yourself you are giving yourself responsibility to feel GOOD. See how it works? Just THINK about what you can do and build on that.