Books. Reading was one of my first loves as a human being and it is a joy that has somehow survived even though the sadness juice now fills my brain. It's a solitary activity so my enjoyment isn't affected by my social anxiety and although I tend to feel depressed and lonely when doing anything else alone with reading that's not the case. A book with a vividly realised world and characters that I can connect with takes me out of myself and helps me escape. I love the thought and effort that goes into making books, I love the way they feel and smell and everything about them. Libraries and book shops are dream theatres to me. Forgive me for this is turning into a rhapsody but they do give me a lot of pleasure.
"The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the "rat race" - the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing." (David Foster Wallace)