Has B... a ..nNed herself
Join Date: Aug 2007
What happens when you die
Well, I've never technically died but I have had something of an out of body experience -that is, if you consider a sudden instance of enlightenment to be such a thing.
And enlightenment, or a 'peak experience', is similar to death even when it is the death of the ego.
But what I wanted to say, is that the joy felt in such an experience is blissful, and this is even when it happens in the midst of pretty horrible circumstances or happenings.
And on top of this, a person loses their shame. You no-longer feel that you are "too fargone" or abnormal and hopeless. You don't compare yourself to people anymore in a way that makes you feel better or less than them. You realise that how worthy a person is really depends on how much they try and because all people try their best, you forgive and forget the past.
The feeling is one of great inspiration. And no matter how many years and how much work it then takes to really make an outer reality of this inner one, a person sticks to it and their success is guaranteed -you cannot fail because you realised that you never did fail.
And I remembered this just recently. And I thought to myself: That it is unfortunate that the vast majority of the time when such "near-death" experiences are not encountered, that we miss seeing and experiencing this higher truth. This reality that actually does justice to a person.
It is the only one that is fair. Any other view or belief demands change where it isn't possible or therefore necessary. And such beliefs and views make changing more difficult than it needs to be if not in fact impossible.
But truly forgiving yourself for your past -seeing how you are innocent and worthy and perfect just as you are now, this is our only hope.
Anything less is unfair. Anything less says lies about who you are.
Anything less gives you little to no possibility of changing; and certainly makes life much more difficult than it should ever in a million years need to be.
So I am saying this because I have remembered recently this feeling and this insight. -It really is one of inspiration, of not being phased or doubting yourself simply because the mountain you have to climb seems steeper than most peoples'.
One thing realised iin a 'peak experience' is that a low exists in exact proportion to a 'high'. Which is to say that all the lowness we experience about ourselves is there because of an equal amount of highness. -You are only as 'bad' as you are 'good'. And for this reason, all of our 'insanity', our 'defectiveness', our 'weiredness', our 'dejectedness', our 'hopelessness', our 'craziness', our 'worthlessness' ...all of this about ourself is worthwhile because it is part of a bigger picture that already exists.
Don't be phased by how you appear to be lesser than others; of feeling and believing yourself to be defective or of having "too much baggage"...
All of us already are equal to others. When you die you won't view yourself in a way that you usually do now. If any judgements are made, they will be of the sort which is able to ascertain what you could have changed and what you couldn't change; and what this means essentially is that you will 'judge' yourself based on how much you tried -which basically means you will not judge yourself at all, because you have always tried your best.
Well, don't judge yourself now: see NOW how you are perfect.
...why wait till you die to realise this truth? Why wait till death to permit yourself to start living? -Why be so hard on yourself when all that it does is make it so difficult for you to do positive things for yourself. (And I don't say "positive" meaning that you are some poor lesser version of others, who should just 'do the best with what they've got' ...no, it is impossible to be lesser than anyone.)
And if you already know this, then you already know that you have found the Kingdom of Heaven. -That is to say, you have already seen how you are whole and perfect, even when to most people most of the time (including yourself), you appear broken and imperfect.
Why wait? What is their to wait for?