What does positive thinking mean to you? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-28-2019, 10:02 PM Thread Starter
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What does positive thinking mean to you?

I have always interpreted positive thinking as acknowledging the negative but focus on the positive. What is your take? And, is it easy for you to do?
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-08-2019, 01:11 PM
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Remain in denial from the actual problem(s) at hand and find outlets that only escalate the said-problems even further.

Closest to positive thinking for me, really...
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-08-2019, 04:20 PM
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You can be as positive as you like but when you feel like I do at the moment it won't do a thing.

My last therapist wouldn't even see me unless I was taking my medication, so I guess that says a lot. Talking and attitude only does so much.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-08-2019, 05:35 PM
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It is self encouragement to me. Having Faith and Hope in God, motivating myself. Being optimistic. I always look to the brighter side. Towards the horizon.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-08-2019, 05:36 PM
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-15-2019, 04:27 AM
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By thinking less about the problem but focus on all the possibilities available.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-15-2019, 07:09 AM
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awaiting happenings + Luck

Optimism within can be a fair approach but can damage by constant rejection

more disease or deaths
can leave survivors with more hope, space, resources, opportunities

world needs a major paradigm shift

out-of-mud required
empty life. all my abilities not put to use
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-15-2019, 07:29 AM
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There's nothing wrong with positive thinking, but if it's too far from where you actually are emotionally, it can be counterproductive. Can feel almost like self gaslighting lol. If you feel like **** and say my life is amazing or I can do anything, it'll feel like bs.

What you can do is find a thought that feels a little better little by little. If you feel **** it might feel better to say maybe tomorrow could be better. Or maybe I can find help somewhere. Or at least I'm alive and breathing. Or this really sucked, but I got through it. Anything that feels realistic but just a teensy bit better or even a bit more neutral is helpful.

Pple try to go from thinking and feeling complete **** to completely amazing and positive. But you can go from feeling **** to sad to angry to slightly annoyed to whatever feels just a bit better for you. Or from thinking negatively to slightly less negative to neutral to slightly positive to positive, etc.

Just have to be realistic, move up slightly and go easy on yourself.

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Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-15-2019, 08:00 AM
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What @SparklingWater said. You need to choose a tone that works for you and do what you can.

I find ideas of 'positive thinking' and 'optimism' annoying and counterproductive, but I just reframe them as 'pushing through despite', and there you go, it works for me. Sometimes 'today is a hellish day and I'm going to find a way to enjoy myself regardless' works better than 'today is a good day'. I clearly watched too much Rocky/Commando/Die Hard, but you know, whatever works.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-15-2019, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by blue tang View Post
I have always interpreted positive thinking as acknowledging the negative but focus on the positive. What is your take? And, is it easy for you to do?
That's how I see it, too. Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on them.

You also need strong meaning in life. With that, you can handle adversity.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-18-2019, 01:45 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
...You also need strong meaning in life. With that, you can handle adversity.
Hmm... That might be what I'm missing. That might be why I often lack the motivation to push myself through a situation.

Originally Posted by twitchy666
Optimism within can be a fair approach but can damage by constant rejection...
Yeah, I feel that way too. But then again, sometimes I think it might just be in my head and to be safe I kinda reject first.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-23-2019, 10:37 AM
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Always finding the good out of your experiences, even if you fail at the moment.

Like say you fail an exam. Instead of thinking along the lines of I suck at everything think along the lines of I can only do better.

“Just because you have a choice, it doesn't mean that any of them 'has' to be right."
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 04-04-2019, 08:39 PM
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For me, positive thinking entails the acknowledgement that it is ok to strain away from positive thoughts despite having negative thoughts at the same time. We must tell ourselves that we all make mistakes and learning from them teaches us a valuable lesson. If I have a ****ty day and say to myself "I hate life" or "I suck at life, no one likes me", I try to catch myself and say, "I am having a ****ty day, yes it sucks", and, "self loathing will never further my health".

Catching a negative thought and understanding that it is normal to have these thoughts, allows me to appreciate the diverse and ever so vast structure of our psychological being. In essence, understanding the waywardness in our minds conveys the message it is ok to embrace our fallible minds. To strive for strict, regimented positive thoughts only-absent of negative thoughts-is neither feasible nor healthy.

And wet she rose from the lake, and fast and fleet went she
One half the form of a maiden fair with a jet black mare's body

And loud, long and shrill he blew til his steed was by his side
High overhead the grey hawk flew and swiftly did he ride
Saying "Course well, my brindled hound, and fetch me the jet black mare
Stoop and strike, my good grey hawk, and bring me the maiden fair"
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 04-04-2019, 08:42 PM
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Trying to be productive and making the best of poor situations. Not having a victim complex.

I wish I were more positive. I'm working on it.

The world is not my home. I'm just passing through.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 12:25 AM
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Positive thinking is how I'll help myself achieve my goals. Realistically thinking would be acknowledging that there is chance for failure in whatever I do, but positive thinking helps me realize the good in things, helping me get back up on the track!
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-22-2019, 01:10 AM
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I just see a good and humorous side in everything, no matter how grim it looks. Because, let's face it, there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" in the world, there are only things that we choose to categorise as "good" or "bad", and it is completely up to us how to do it.

As an example, I had an absolutely horrible toothache around a year ago. It was so bad that I nearly fainted from pain a few times. But I didn't feel bad about it, because I took in on as a challenge to practice not letting pain affect my life and put my mind into the mode where it deliberately ignored the pain and focused on other things around - and it actually worked. Can't say I absolutely was not affected by the pain, but due to how I chose to approach it, it barely had any effect on my emotional state.

I think many people practice positivity in a wrong way in that they just prefer to focus on a positive outcome, but since deep inside they know that the positive outcome is not guaranteed, they remain anxious about it. The right thing, I think, is to realise that any outcome, positive or negative, is fine and that you will use it to your advantage and move on.
For example, when you are asking someone out, it is pointless to keep self-affirming that "they will accept me": this might boost your chances some, but is unlikely to do much, and you will know that you are lying to yourself deep inside. On the other hand, employing the attitude like "If they accept me, that's great; if they don't, that's fine as well" is going to put your mind at ease. That is practical positivity in a nutshell.
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