What compliment do you like to hear the most? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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What compliment do you like to hear the most?

Or what things do you like to be complimented on?

I would say my maths ability.
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 11:34 AM
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It'd be nice for a guy to find me attractive or beautiful, but that's never going to happen (without it being a cruel joke), so...

Ditto with somebody sincerely finding my interests and life experiences interesting. In the past some people said I "seem interesting," and wanted to communicate with me, but it always turned out they weren't into a single thing I was (actually their compliment was always, "I'm not into any of the things you are but you seem interesting..."), and were bored when I'd talk about myself and I was bored by them too, so it'd fizzle out. Don't know what those people were expecting, I'm pretty forward about what I'm like, I'm not sure how anyone could think I'm more fascinating than I am (not). I used to reach out to the rare people whom I found fascinating and thought might be able to relate to me, but they never reciprocated, so likeminded people aren't into me, either. I regularly pour my heart out here (including in this post) but so far nobody's expressed interest in learning more about anything in particular regarding me, so I take it I really am just that boring and unrelatable. Everyone else here seems to easily get into personal convos with each other and I'm painfully envious. -_-


Being complimented on my writing (or art) is always a big boost but unfortunately, it happens maybe once every few years, then I never hear from that person again, which indicates that my work wasn't good enough to hold their attention for long, therefore their compliment couldn't have been as heartfelt as it seemed. (There's a small contingent of people who would only reach out to me and make themselves known YEARS after I'd lost courage and hope and had stalled out on writing or posting an ongoing story, with, "Hi, I used to read 'Such & Such' way back when and enjoyed it, I was wondering if you have any more posted?" and all I could ever think was, well where were you when I was still writing and desperately hoping for a reader to speak up, what made you wait so long??--didn't it occur to you that maybe your comments would've helped keep me going?--but even when I'd respond and thank them and if possible point them out to more of my writing, or even use that boost to write something new and post it for them, they'd never reply again. Sometimes a first-time respondent would tell me, "I won't keep commenting on your story, I'm sure it'd be annoying and you must get tons of messages from readers already!"...no matter how many times I insisted this wasn't so and never has been, they still refused to write back.)

I would have actual return readers by now if my work was any good, but I don't, so it's obviously not.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.


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Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )


"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 02:08 PM
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I will take anything lol.

Honestly a comment on my appearance always hits the spot, but I think if someone complimented me saying I was wise, courageous, strong or compassionate (the values I aspire to), that really hits the spot.

Actually a lady I asked for a reference today said I was courageous, and I thought it was absolutely lovely .

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 02:27 PM
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If someone compliments the animals I look after.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 05:50 PM
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Hmm...Maybe something like being told I made someone's day or that I'm making a positive difference in someone's life

Do those count?
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 05:53 PM
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Lol I don't actually know.

edit: I have thought of some things people have said that I liked but don't want to post them.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 06:14 PM
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Setup progress now at 100% capacity.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 09:28 PM
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really anything that's genuinely complimentary but is said earnestly; that'll get me.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-19-2020, 12:03 PM
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That I’m good at my job.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 09:16 PM
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My wife has told me a couple of times recently that I did a good job as a father. That means more to me than anything else in the world.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 12:49 AM
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"Close.. but you're not the worst.. yet."

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 02:34 AM
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The compliments I'd like to hear and the compliments I do hear are two different things, lol. No one's ever complimented me on my appearance, which would have been nice, but I guess I missed that boat.

I honestly don't get compliments very often. I guess I've heard things like "you seem pretty smart" and "you're funny" a few times. Can't really think of anything else. How often do people even compliment each other? Seems pretty uncommon. I've had about 100x as many insults as compliments.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 05:12 AM
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my Scorpions concert t-shirt

And I always thought this would be
the land of milk and honey
Oh but I came to find out that it's
all hate and money
And there's a canopy of greed holding me down.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 06:23 PM
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A young therapist at one of the hospitals one time told me I was a very likeable person - that was a very nice thing for her to say and it meant a lot to me. It's a lot more important to me than what they think I look like or something.
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