What compliment do you like to hear the most? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 11:26 AM Thread Starter
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What compliment do you like to hear the most?

Or what things do you like to be complimented on?

I would say my maths ability.
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 12:34 PM
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It'd be nice for a guy to find me attractive or beautiful, but that's never going to happen (without it being a cruel joke), so...

Ditto with somebody sincerely finding my interests and life experiences interesting. In the past some people said I "seem interesting," and wanted to communicate with me, but it always turned out they weren't into a single thing I was (actually their compliment was always, "I'm not into any of the things you are but you seem interesting..."), and were bored when I'd talk about myself and I was bored by them too, so it'd fizzle out. Don't know what those people were expecting, I'm pretty forward about what I'm like, I'm not sure how anyone could think I'm more fascinating than I am (not). I used to reach out to the rare people whom I found fascinating and thought might be able to relate to me, but they never reciprocated, so likeminded people aren't into me, either. I regularly pour my heart out here (including in this post) but so far nobody's expressed interest in learning more about anything in particular regarding me, so I take it I really am just that boring and unrelatable. Everyone else here seems to easily get into personal convos with each other and I'm painfully envious. -_-


Being complimented on my writing (or art) is always a big boost but unfortunately, it happens maybe once every few years, then I never hear from that person again, which indicates that my work wasn't good enough to hold their attention for long, therefore their compliment couldn't have been as heartfelt as it seemed. (There's a small contingent of people who would only reach out to me and make themselves known YEARS after I'd lost courage and hope and had stalled out on writing or posting an ongoing story, with, "Hi, I used to read 'Such & Such' way back when and enjoyed it, I was wondering if you have any more posted?" and all I could ever think was, well where were you when I was still writing and desperately hoping for a reader to speak up, what made you wait so long??--didn't it occur to you that maybe your comments would've helped keep me going?--but even when I'd respond and thank them and if possible point them out to more of my writing, or even use that boost to write something new and post it for them, they'd never reply again. Sometimes a first-time respondent would tell me, "I won't keep commenting on your story, I'm sure it'd be annoying and you must get tons of messages from readers already!"...no matter how many times I insisted this wasn't so and never has been, they still refused to write back.)

I would have actual return readers by now if my work was any good, but I don't, so it's obviously not.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.


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Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )


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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 03:08 PM
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I will take anything lol.

Honestly a comment on my appearance always hits the spot, but I think if someone complimented me saying I was wise, courageous, strong or compassionate (the values I aspire to), that really hits the spot.

Actually a lady I asked for a reference today said I was courageous, and I thought it was absolutely lovely .

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 03:27 PM
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If someone compliments the animals I look after.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 06:50 PM
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Hmm...Maybe something like being told I made someone's day or that I'm making a positive difference in someone's life

Do those count?
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 06:53 PM
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Lol I don't actually know.

edit: I have thought of some things people have said that I liked but don't want to post them.

Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 07:14 PM
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-13-2020, 10:28 PM
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really anything that's genuinely complimentary but is said earnestly; that'll get me.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-19-2020, 01:03 PM
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That I’m good at my job.
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 10:16 PM
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My wife has told me a couple of times recently that I did a good job as a father. That means more to me than anything else in the world.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 01:49 AM
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"Close.. but you're not the worst.. yet."

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 03:34 AM
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The compliments I'd like to hear and the compliments I do hear are two different things, lol. No one's ever complimented me on my appearance, which would have been nice, but I guess I missed that boat.

I honestly don't get compliments very often. I guess I've heard things like "you seem pretty smart" and "you're funny" a few times. Can't really think of anything else. How often do people even compliment each other? Seems pretty uncommon. I've had about 100x as many insults as compliments.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 06:12 AM
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 07:23 PM
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A young therapist at one of the hospitals one time told me I was a very likeable person - that was a very nice thing for her to say and it meant a lot to me. It's a lot more important to me than what they think I look like or something.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-12-2020, 07:03 AM
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I like when people mention that they like being around me. It makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy.

Materialistically though, I love when people compliment my style. Makes my ego fly through the roof because it's something I picked out and am low-key proud of and want others to be proud of too. But any compliment is lovely so long as it's not a backhanded or sandwich compliment.

Originally Posted by harrison View Post
My wife has told me a couple of times recently that I did a good job as a father. That means more to me than anything else in the world.
This is such an important one. Me and my parents had such a rough patch when I was growing up so I try to thank them every now and again for raising us with the cards they were given in life and remind them that we appreciate everything they've done for us.

You sound like you must've been a great dad to grow up with.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-12-2020, 04:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Mango__ View Post

You sound like you must've been a great dad to grow up with.
Thank you. I did okay I think - my son loves me and my wife still talks to me. (usually)
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-19-2020, 11:09 AM
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you really do take the biscuit...i'm speechless....get out
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 02:33 AM
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You are so smart

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 02:50 AM
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There is precious little to me to compliment so 99% of the time when someone compliments me in any way I think they must either not know much about me or they want something. And since I don't have much of anything anyone would want, that's freaky.

It upsets me when my parents compliment me because they know me better than most people do and I know them better than they know me and I know they're just doing it because they think it will motivate me to do something I'm never going to be able to do (or want to do).

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 09-03-2020, 02:21 PM
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You look happier.

Hi my name is Matt. How are you today?
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