WHat advice to your have for someone younger than you with SA - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 08:08 AM Thread Starter
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WHat advice to your have for someone younger than you with SA


Am 23...Well I saw a couple of 21 year olds on this forum,to them I say please try harder : don't settle with just being fine, seek discomfort , allow yourself to live ,bond and love ,Say YES to all social invites , don't always use academics as an excuse not to be social, socializing is not wasting time. This forum is full of depressing things and thoughts but don't just look to relate to us or the posts seek to avoid what we are going through. There can be a better ,healthier path if you try now.


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I really had bad days I felt like am alone but it was once worse. I think am making progress and finding my smile back.
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The link is audios,videos and by that Irish guy Barry McDonagh(one of my favorite Social Anxiety authors ). Sharing is caring.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 08:13 AM Thread Starter
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I meant "what advice do you have for someone younger than you with SA"


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I really had bad days I felt like am alone but it was once worse. I think am making progress and finding my smile back.
What am currently on:
Online Anxiety Help
The link is audios,videos and by that Irish guy Barry McDonagh(one of my favorite Social Anxiety authors ). Sharing is caring.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 09:48 AM
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I didn't have any answers when I was younger and I dont have any answers now. happiness is a mirage.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 10:14 AM
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Don't give in to peer pressure just to get approval from your friends/acquaintances if you are about to do something which goes against your own common sense, I find that people afflicted with anxiety problems are doubly susceptible to this as our incessant self-criticism keeps on casting doubts and problems with every decision we make, and how they could possibly affect others' perception of us, that was the case with younger me anyway.



Also, if they can't respect your decision, then they're no friends of yours.

Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already.



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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 08:57 PM
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Don't quit before you try. Most of life was nonexistent because I was too scared to even try. If you fail you fail but don't quit on yourself...take a leap.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 07:56 PM
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Push through it!
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 08:45 PM
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1. Happiness is a state of mind

2. Think long-term or you will probably live to regret it. What I mean by that is if your main goal in life wherever you are now is to acquire friends, you should probably be asking yourself what they will mean to you 30 years from now. Most of the friendships people forge as young people are superficial and don't last much past the age when everyone starts getting married. The plain truth is (at least where I live) you can live without friends if you have a decent job and good financial sense. It generally does not work out the other way around. When you get older, people see you as a liability if you are needy (financially or socially). Especially since most of your acquaintances will have moved on and have a lot to lose by associating with people who have nothing.

There are some cases where making friends will get you places so there's nothing wrong with experimenting with that if you haven't. Just don't count on it. And remember. These people have somewhere in mind that they want to go while they're doing college or whatever it is. Their goal in life is not to hang out with you. And if it is, you should probably think twice about hanging out with them.

/WYSD
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 08:47 PM
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Don't take my advice too seriously.. ;p What works for me, is not likely to work for others.. wish it would, then I would be some amazing guru..well no, scratch that, I don't want to be an amazing guru, then I would have to live on a mountain, and that would be kind of cool, but people would keep coming to my door asking all sorts of questions about the meaning of life, or what they should be doing.



As such there is no advice to be given. Other than, don't take advice from strangers. I wish you well in your endeavors oh young ones

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin001 View Post
Don't quit before you try. Most of life was nonexistent because I was too scared to even try. If you fail you fail but don't quit on yourself...take a leap.
Agreed. Don't be afraid of failure. Chances are it's going to happen a lot - people won't like you, companies will reject your job applications, your partner may cheat on you or leave you.

Some of us get a smoother ride than others, but it's all part of living and we just make do with the hand we're dealt. Gotta roll with the punches (and kicks)!
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 11:04 PM
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Don't be too hard on yourself when things don't go according to plan. You got out there and gave it a shot, and that's awesome. In fact, it might have gone better than you think. Just take it easy on yourself, take a deep breath, and give yourself time to regroup if you need it. There's no shame in trying and failing, in fact it's a noble thing to do.

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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 11:14 PM
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Originally Posted by leaf in the wind View Post
Agreed. Don't be afraid of failure. Chances are it's going to happen a lot - people won't like you, companies will reject your job applications, your partner may cheat on you or leave you.

Some of us get a smoother ride than others, but it's all part of living and we just make do with the hand we're dealt. Gotta roll with the punches (and kicks)!
Yep

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 05:06 AM
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Have some grounding. Know what you can definitely do, so that when something doesn't go right, you don't go off on a tangent thinking that you can't do anything.

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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 02:05 PM
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Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 02:13 PM
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I'd tell them that attitude is really important. Don't see SA as a hindrance. See it as a challenge.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 02:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHouse View Post
Am 23...Well I saw a couple of 21 year olds on this forum,to them I say please try harder : don't settle with just being fine, seek discomfort , allow yourself to live ,bond and love ,Say YES to all social invites , don't always use academics as an excuse not to be social, socializing is not wasting time. This forum is full of depressing things and thoughts but don't just look to relate to us or the posts seek to avoid what we are going through. There can be a better ,healthier path if you try now.
I am 25 so my advice trumps your advice. I say only say yes to social invites if you think they are going to be fun. DO only what you think you are going to enjoy. You should not feel bad about not doing things you don't enjoy. If you'd rather sit home and read a book, than going to a social event, do that. Do not let other people control what you should do.
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 03:12 PM
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Change is a scary thing but a necessity in order to learn and build your skills, don't let your fear and anxiety stop you from pursuing your goals/dreams because if you never give yourself the chance you will only live within a comfortable misery, wondering with regret what could have happened. Take things slow, start with a small goal and build upon it towards the complete project.
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2019, 05:19 PM
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Yes valium is a good idea, I need drugs asap






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 09:43 AM
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Don't give in to the sirens' call of avoidance.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 12:28 PM
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Don't give in to the sirens' call of avoidance.
^ Agree 100% ... my SA manifests itself as ‘anticipatory anxiety’ ( it’s quite paralyzing sometimes )
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 12:40 PM
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And I always thought this would be
the land of milk and honey
Oh but I came to find out that it's
all hate and money
And there's a canopy of greed holding me down.
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