Went to a music fest with a friend
More of a lurker here, but had such a positive experience last night that I wanted to share.
So I went to Panorama Music Fest in NY with a longtime friend yesterday. We had planned this way back in February, with me emailing her the information and she agreeing to go with me. Of course, I fell into a nasty depression over the last few months (perfect timing) and my SA had me dreading this event (thousands of people packed onto one "island" - what could go wrong?) But I'm glad I went because it was the most positive experience I've had in perhaps years.
First of all, the music was orgasmic. The first acts we saw were MØ and Spoon. MØ was full of manic energy on that stage, whoa, and Spoon was ****ing amazing. I'd never heard any of their stuff, but we had to leave to get on the line for tacos (burritos in my case) and find a set on the main lawn/stage for MGMT, Solange, and Frank Ocean.
My friend V and I spent a good portion of the time ripping on Millenials, even though we technically are. She's 31, I'm 29. The crowd was mostly full of 18-25 year olds ("these kids have a lot of ****in' energy" I remarked over and over). But everyone was cool, and the vibe was very laidback. The venue had A LOT of rules in place, so there was no litter or drug use (some hooka/smoking, and of course drinking). I'm sober, so I didn't partake in anything, but I didn't have to. I was high on life (ugh, cliche, but you get me).
The highlight of the night of course were the last two acts, Solange, and the headliner Frank Ocean. Solange delivered, performing most of the tracks from A Seat At the Table. "Look at that Solange/"Knowles hair," I shrieked upon her stage entrance. Just '70s realness, velvet vocals, aggression, energy, and random Thom Yorke-esque dancing fits - she closed the show with seizure-like movements, punching at the air, finally collapsing on the floor. Love her.
Frank was everything. He was the main reason I wanted to go in the first place. But I felt that music in my soul. He did some early songs, but mostly Blonde tracks. Very intimate, just him sitting, standing, or strutting in front of a bunch of sequencers and keyboards. He's a beautiful soul, and very sexy.
I felt very little SA during this event. Making eye contact and even interacting slightly with some people, sitting on the lawn and chatting with a friend, listening to great music, I was mostly at ease. It reminded me of how I used to be, just with greater perspective because of all I've been through these past ten years. It kind of made me want to fight for my life, fight these illnesses, pick up my passions again, take starting therapy seriously, and just get on with it the best way I could. And being my regular old weird self, screaming, and singing, and dancing - and all sober, because I relied on alcohol for so long - it was what I needed more than anything. I hope I'm inspired to approach life differently from now on. It's a lot to ask from just one experience, but maybe that's all it takes.