Very few posts to this forum. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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Very few posts to this forum.


The Frustration forum is very active, yet this one isn't.

Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?:surprise: I try to stay away from that forum because i feel there's way to much negativity. Where as in this forum and the Triumphs over SA forum i can read about people's everyday triumphs over SA and be part of others positive thinking.

What do you guys think?

Live for the progress that you've made.
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 02:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiserableLife99 View Post
Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?
I thought it was aveeno T-T

I stay away from this forum because I feel like I'm going to run into some unrealistic, overly upbeat, inspirational self-help pep talk that fails to take into consideration the fact that I *have* tried simply 'thinking positively.' (ironic, given much of my comments on others' posts, but I digress.) It feels less conversational, and more preachy.
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by altghost View Post
I thought it was aveeno T-T

I stay away from this forum because I feel like I'm going to run into some unrealistic, overly upbeat, inspirational self-help pep talk that fails to take into consideration the fact that I *have* tried simply 'thinking positively.' (ironic, given much of my comments on others' posts, but I digress.) It feels less conversational, and more preachy.
Theres nothing unrealistic about overcoming SA. The reason it seems preachy is because when you overcome something or you go face to face with what's holding you back, you feel amazing and want the world to know how you did it. I think the majority of people on that forum (not all) just love getting their wounds kissed. Theyre stuck in this negative mindset as a result of everyone dick riding their problems as oppose to helping them. I very rarely see anyone give advice on that forum, everyone just gives an example of how their life suffers as well.

Live for the progress that you've made.
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 08:05 PM
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I don't really like the way you put "bathe in their own sorrow", it implies a general superiority to people who talk about their problems more, or have worse problems and often don't have much control over their depression
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 08:10 PM
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It's easier to relate and commiserate than to offer advice, especially when so many of us are still in the thick of our issues and can't even help ourselves. It helps to know we're not alone, you know? It's great if simply thinking positively has helped you out of your issues; I'm not discounting that at all. But if SA is big enough a problem that it takes drugs, outside professional support and intervention, and a whole host of other methods to simply manage, you have to understand it's not going to be the same level of simplicity for each sufferer, especially when what we specifically struggle with varies person to person.

That said, I am rather wary of the Dating subforum in the Frustration section because a lot of those threads tend to slope into misogynistic territory, and it makes me uncomfortable.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 08:18 PM
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Maybe because some of us don't have any reason to be positive or don't have any triumphs...

When you say it isn't preachy, you have to understand the kind of advice we're usually faced with here. I understand people think they're helping, but most of them are not and are rather attempting to take some spurious highroad by talking about how easy it is, or to think positive, or some other generic drivel we've been fed our whole lives.

How many people are actually putting a genuine effort into being helpful?

And plus, it is the Frustration forum. It is designed for our negativity. Many of us have nowhere else to go with it. I'm sorry that it offends your sensibilities, but that's the way it is. Nobody "dick rides" our problems. It's just that we lack solutions we are capable of enacting.

If people are actually having the serious triumphs you describe, they wouldn't be here. As it is, there's no use to continue to lie to myself with generic positive thinking.

Lots of problems, little success. I think you shouldn't judge and feel superior.

Here's to life, the vice
The great herald of misery
In this cup, spiritus frumenti
For this is the nectar of the spirit
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 09:15 PM
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People need let steam out. A lot people have no one to talk to.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-17-2015, 09:23 PM
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I don't think this is very positive.
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-18-2015, 12:02 AM
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I guess it's because the whole basis and foundation of this forum is stemmed from frustration.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-18-2015, 12:04 AM
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People with SA hardly think positively.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 02:22 AM
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I will admit that I've only looked at this particular section of the forum twice, maybe three times since I signed up here. The sad fact is that I think a lot of us are here because we struggle to find positivity through our experiences with SA. A good number of us, myself included, don't actually have any positive experiences to reflect back upon to try and perform that age-old phrase of "improve ourselves". We need others to give us a helping hand and unfortunately, a lot of us find others are merely hindrances rather than actual help.

If I had something to be positive about, I would do so. Do people honestly think we like to be miserable? I don't understand how anyone can be happy about being sad all the time. This is the whole reason why we come here to see what we can do about it – and of course vent.

There are people out there who have made a real effort to improve and overcome at least some of their SA traits. I've done this myself. However, making the effort doesn't always equal results. Whilst it may for some, others find themselves more or less stuck in place whether through not putting the effort in the right places (maybe through no fault of their own), or in my case really trying to only find our suspicions and fears are re-confirmed when we try to interact and mix with others. I honestly don't know where the positive is in this. We have sought advice. We have put in the effort and unfortunately, still got nowhere! It doesn't make you feel positive. It makes you feel positively cheated.

Again, unfortunately taking advice and acting doesn't always mean success. Nor does repeating the same advice to what has already been given which has proven not to work once, twice, maybe three or more times over before. At what point is it accepted that "maybe this isn't working…"? There's only so many years you can try and fail before you know in your heart that you’re essentially stuck. This is what some people don’t understand.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm open to pretty much any piece of advice I can get because my life is passing me by and I'm still in the same situation I am now than I was when I was 14/15 years old. I'm becoming desperate to change as I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. I've already lost my entire youth to this but unfortunately, I just can't 'grind out' that change to improve despite my efforts.

Please don't interpret this as some sort of 'trolling post'. I'm merely trying to explain why the 'Frustration' section is considerably more popular than here. I only hope I've explained this well enough without others 'rolling their eyes' to this…!

"My life is an endless purgatory, interrupted by profound moments of misery"

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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 04:33 AM
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i think it's kinda ironic that your username has 'miserable' in it lol.
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 05:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiserableLife99 View Post
The Frustration forum is very active, yet this one isn't.

Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?:surprise: I try to stay away from that forum because i feel there's way to much negativity. Where as in this forum and the Triumphs over SA forum i can read about people's everyday triumphs over SA and be part of others positive thinking.

What do you guys think?
Yeah, I'm pretty much like you. I've had to take breaks from SAS, because I let the negativity get to me. I'm thankful for all of you in this section!

Always happy to talk to folks!
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 05:41 AM
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I am positive in areas of life that I know I can improve on. But approaching women is something I know I will never achieve, therefore I do find it reassuring to hear similar stories to mine. So, amid the negativity lies some positivity.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 02:25 PM
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I don't post on these types of sections because they're mostly superficial and self-congratulatory posts that never make me feel better and feel dishonest when I post them. I'm humorous and light-hearted in situations where I don't feel I have to show off how happy I am to strangers who don't care but pretend to in order to keep the atmosphere going, and no stock quotes on how to "just be happy".

There's ample advice out there, but more threads every day than any user could ever post it to. People who want it will find it easily.
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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 02:26 PM
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How does one think positively when they're suffering with a cripplingly mental illness?

????
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 02:57 PM
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Quote:
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How does one think positively when they're suffering with a cripplingly mental illness?

????
Such a paradox. I think we're supposed to make rainbows come out of our asses on top of everything else.

Here's to life, the vice
The great herald of misery
In this cup, spiritus frumenti
For this is the nectar of the spirit
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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 03:13 PM
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Everyone is miserable, god bless us all.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 03:36 PM
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hmm

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and than success is sure," Mark Twain

-------------------------------------------------------
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 08-21-2015, 06:00 PM
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"Misery loves company", right?

Positive change requires action; action requires work. Most people are inherently stubborn. (I'm no exception!)
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