Stop thinking about yourself so much - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-07-2007, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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Stop thinking about yourself so much


I think the biggest problem with people with SA is they obsess about themselves so much. Its a constant worry about what people think about them, what people think they look like etc. No matter if its all negative or not, its still just about yourself. Look at this forum for example, its all about talking about yourself. I know its kind of the point, but still....

Instead of focusing on you, focus on other people......go out there and make an effort. At the end of the day you are what you are, and thinking about it and getting yourself down is not gonna change it. Get help by all means but don't focus on yourself all the time, you're just wasting your life......

Stay positive, and think of other things to focus on!!

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.
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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-08-2007, 09:02 AM
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Sounds about right. I know I have a habit of thinking during awkward silence that its my fault, even though the other person is often not making much of an effort.
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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-08-2007, 09:11 PM
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Completely agree with you shy_girl.

I'm not who I have in memory
Nor who is in me now.
If I think, I self-dismember.
If I believe, there is no end.
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-08-2007, 11:32 PM
 
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Re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


i agree

Its the SELF...myself that i'm always imagining/picturing and anticipating being in terrible situations day in day out....i need to let that go and lose myself in focusing and listening to others and being there for others.

My uncle once said people have their own problems they are focused on instead of worrying so much about others issues....its really true. I'm one of those people so focused about what others are thinking when infact others in reality aren't focused on me
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-09-2007, 11:09 PM
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Re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Quote:
Originally Posted by shy_girl
Look at this forum for example, its all about talking about yourself. I know its kind of the point, but still....
I totally agree, and I tend to do it too.
Whenever I see someone telling a problem, it's like at least I wanna make clear my situation is as bad or maybe even worse. While normally I'm not someone who complains to others not even online, so I don't know why I do that here. But fact is that when I leave the computer I'm not feeling any better about myself at all.

Yes this board gives me support in a way that I recognise a lot of issues and I feel less alone with my problems. But at the end of the day I have to face the world here by myself, It's not that there is a SAS village I can move to.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-12-2007, 11:54 AM
 
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Absolutely right, we're so self-obsessed. Actually no one thinks about us that way, people don't judge others all the time. Things we avoid are not a big deal.
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-12-2007, 02:17 PM
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From my experience, I find certain people don't really care. (Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind kind of thing). At the end of the day, you must care (about yourself).
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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-13-2007, 12:07 PM
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


DEF.
i Agree. I don't want to waste my life doing that.
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-13-2007, 02:03 PM
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I agree. The more we focus on ourselves and our anxiety, the more anxious we will be! We can't get into the habit of "checking in" on our anxiety and then doing things on the basis of how we feel. We need to do things whether we feel like it or not. And our focus should never be on ourselves and the way we are feeling. Focus on anything external, whether it be what someone else is saying, music you're listening to, environment, weather, shopping, etc, whatever it takes! Nobody else is obsessing over your every word and action, so why are you? It's just no big deal!!
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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-15-2007, 07:49 PM
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yup, i'm way too obsessed with myself. that's why there's a thread around here about SA being very similar to narcissism.

i'm trying to get over it, but so far it's been unsuccessful..
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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-22-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Well said. I need to hear that from time to time. Haha, again about myself. what are ya gonna do lol
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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-22-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Spot on, Shy_girl!

SA is such a navel-gazing sort of disorder. Getting the focus off of myself and directing my energy outward is one way I try to "snap out of it" when I feel my SA taking over. Focus on the goal, the task at hand, the person in front of me -maybe pay them a compliment if i can't think of anything else to say. Anything to get myself to stop obesessing over what everyone might be thinking about me.
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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-23-2007, 04:07 PM
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Very good advice. I'm so self-centered it's just pitiful.
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-23-2007, 10:32 PM
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Hard to not think about myself. *thinks about the keyboard*

I know you can see me. Bad guys always see me. My plans suck. People die. It's always a mess.
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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-26-2007, 06:19 PM
 
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Wow that is so true!! I constantly analyse myself and search for new "deep reasons" for me being the way i am in other words trying to find someting/someone to blame! love self help stuff! it is a liberating thought that noone actually watches your every move and judges you, well except yourself! but how do you stop it?
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post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 10:28 PM
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


You can't please everybody! We don't have time to be friends with everybody so we might as well just focus on pleasing our selves. if some stranger that doesn't even know you looks down on you for doing something wrong, is that so bad? are there any hardcore consequences associated with that? if you really start to think about it, any type of disaproval is usually temporary...life goes on, the people that truely care about you will still care about you.

these are just some of the thought processes i go through that seem to help, maybe it can help you guys too.....

HOLLER
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post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-06-2007, 04:41 AM
 
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re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Great advice Grantonio!
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post #18 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-08-2007, 12:05 AM
 
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Re: Stop thinking about yourself so much


Quote:
Originally Posted by shy_girl
I think the biggest problem with people with SA is they obsess about themselves so much. Its a constant worry about what people think about them, what people think they look like etc. No matter if its all negative or not, its still just about yourself. Look at this forum for example, its all about talking about yourself. I know its kind of the point, but still....

Instead of focusing on you, focus on other people......go out there and make an effort. At the end of the day you are what you are, and thinking about it and getting yourself down is not gonna change it. Get help by all means but don't focus on yourself all the time, you're just wasting your life......

Stay positive, and think of other things to focus on!!

That is why we are here in one place. Now, I do agree with you. We should stop thinking what other people think. But as I said before, that's why we are here, to overcome that fear and it's not one of the biggest problems, it is the problem. It is the definition of SA! A lot of us wish it was that easy. Easier said than done right? Sa is a long process. Many of us have lived with SA for years and did not know what was wrong with us. So it's a long process of recovery, you have to take that into mind, as long as we are trying and doing everything in our power to deal with it, then it should be fine. And slowly that fear of scrutiny or embarrassment will fade away over time.
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post #19 of 43 (permalink) Old 07-01-2013, 07:02 PM
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for three days I focused on loving others( I had read a Christian book -See with New Eyes-Ty Gibson) that was particularly moving and helpful...

usually I went around with a scrupulous conscience worrying about doing the right thing.. but I remember in a moment one of those days..realizing wow..I have not been worried about my conscience..I guess I was busy doing my best to care for others (my family members in the household, I did not really have friends at the time)

so yeah something I remembered..

now what I think I should learn to do is be confident, knowing who I am in Christ, loving myself as I should, be my best friend..
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post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 07-01-2013, 07:28 PM
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I do think about other people like my classmates but I don't really talk to them plus i am also too lazy and unmotivated to help them. If only I was Ant Man... I will able to get help from the ants

I like robots
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