Staying Positive in the Worst Times - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-17-2014, 09:07 AM Thread Starter
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Staying Positive in the Worst Times


I just came across a website. The site is run by a guy I used to work with on a video game project. Long story short, I was the lead programmer, but buckled under the pressure and had a breakdown. I silently disappeared, due to anxiety, and just kinda stopped responding to him. I was going through the roughest point in my life, and my high point on anxiety.

Regardless, I effectively killed the project by myself.

Anyway, he just got funded for a new project -- $200,000 through Kickstarter.

He got the license to do an official sequel to an old 80's NES game, which just so happens to be my personal favorite game. Its a project we talked about before, but didn't have the resources to do it. Now he's got it funded, and even managed to get a hold of the original director from 20 years ago to oversee the project.

Its a dream job. I could have been on that team. I used to be on his team.

His new team is fully staffed with writers, artists, programmers, etc. -- I don't know if there would be room for me. Not to mention, is it even ok to ask for a position on the team now? I did single handedly kill our previous project...

Anyway, I'm posting this in the Positive Thinking Section, because honestly, I'm feeling pretty good. In the past, I might have beat myself up (really badly) about losing such an amazing opportunity. But right now, while I'm a little frustrated, I'm still feeling pretty positive over all.

I could still use some positive encouragement though. I'm not sure yet if I should respond to this, or just let it go.

Honestly, I'd love to work on this project -- like I said, it would be a dream job. But the main reason I crumbled on our last project is because I felt way in over my head. I got to a point where I was hitting too many roadblocks, and I just wasn't skilled enough at the time to overcome them. Looking at their art and code now, I still don't feel like I'm at a high enough level to be able to keep up.

And unfortunately, my SA and depression has held me back from my full potential. Honestly, I haven't kept up on my art skills, and I haven't touched programming since I left that project almost two years ago. Needless to say, I'd be more than rusty.

But all in all, I'm feeling pretty positive, thanks to extensive therapy and finally unlocking the power of true positive thinking. But a little encouragement and advice still wouldn't hurt.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-17-2014, 03:38 PM
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It's going to be all right. You're only 23, there are many more wonderful things coming ahead in your life and you have all the time in the world for it.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-17-2014, 08:28 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by meepie View Post
It's going to be all right. You're only 23, there are many more wonderful things coming ahead in your life and you have all the time in the world for it.
This is true. I'm feeling pretty good overall. Just taking life day by day.

But I am wondering if I should contact the guy. I kind of would like to help out in any way I can. I'm just not sure what to say. Its been a long time.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-17-2014, 08:37 PM
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This is true. I'm feeling pretty good overall. Just taking life day by day.

But I am wondering if I should contact the guy. I kind of would like to help out in any way I can. I'm just not sure what to say. Its been a long time.
Contact him, but with no expectations. Casual talk, see where it goes. Don't mention anything big.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-17-2014, 08:51 PM Thread Starter
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Contact him, but with no expectations. Casual talk, see where it goes. Don't mention anything big.
Yes, no expectations. This is the key, you are right.

Though as for "mention anything big" I don't know if I'll be able to avoid that. I mean, if I just message him out of the blue with nothing in mind, it'll be a little weird. I don't think I'll be able to avoid the subject of "I saw you finally got your project funded! That's awesome!"

I think if I just make it clear that I'm happy for his success, everything will go well. If I come off as somehow jealous, it'll go bad.

But that shouldn't be an issue, because I don't really feel jealous. I do feel genuinely happy for him. Its his dream project. I wish I could be there too, but I'm not gonna cry over it.

So yeah, basically it boils down to:
"Give everything, expect nothing."
One of my favorite proverbs, and I think it applies well here.

Thanks for the advice.
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