Compassion helps me feel less alone in my struggles - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 07-01-2020, 06:18 PM Thread Starter
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Compassion helps me feel less alone in my struggles


In the Book of Joy, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu (former archbishop) stress the importance of compassion (and by extension, self-compassion) in lasting happiness. I'm still struggling with compassion because truth be told, I don't have a lot of friends, let alone close friends. It is hard to be compassionate when it feels like no one gives a s*** about me. I constantly would feel like something is wrong with me, or that I'm somehow broken, defective, not worth anyone's time or attention.

But you know, sometimes, when I respond to other people here and elsewhere about their social struggles, and try my best to be compassionate and empathetic in my response, it really helps my mental health, even if just for a moment. Because I'm definitely not the only person who thinks that "something is wrong with me" because of my issues with making friends. It feels like I'm the only person among the people I know in real life, but on the internet, there are thousands, perhaps millions of people who are just as lonely as I am and they must all be hurting, just like me. I can't help them directly with their problems, it's not like I can come over to their house and be good company for them. But, I can still try to be a kind person towards other people. That even when we feel alone and isolated, we never truly are isolated because in a sense we have each other as a community. Perhaps if I met these people in person, I might even end up becoming good friends with them, who knows.

Talking to people about how nothing is wrong with them, I can redirect that positive message towards myself, that nothing is wrong with me. I still have a hard time believing it, but one day I know that I will truly internalize this and believe from the bottom of my heart that I am okay, just as I am. And I will always be "good" enough. If other people do not see that in me, then whatever, who cares what they think.

I'm not pretending that I'm having this huge positive influence on other lonely, socially anxious people's lives. But I try to offer whatever support I can, because it's the least I can do. Hopefully it helps other people just as much as it helps me.
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