Committing to Basic Self Care - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-03-2020, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
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Committing to Basic Self Care


One of the things about depression that doesn't seem to get portrayed that often is how difficult it can make it to even complete normal tasks that other people would find simple.

Cooking, cleaning, washing up dishes, tidying the house, washing my clothes, ironing my clothes, shaving, getting my haircut, washing my teeth, exercising.


As a result of this I often feel, look and worst of all smell unclean or unhealthy when I go out which of course has a negative knock on effect on my anxiety and self esteem.


If you think I should be ashamed of this, well I am, but to get a better place you have to start by being honest about where you are. I want to get better and so I am setting some specific goals;


-Get my haircut once a month. I got my haircut today and have booked in an appointment for next month so this is a good start.


-Wash my teeth twice a day.


-Shower every day. Actually I usually manage this but I do sometimes miss a day if I am really low.


-Make myself a proper dinner every evening. No binge eating chocolate and no fast food, so I wave goodbye to Ronald Mcdonald for the forseeable future.


-Exercise regularly I have a weighing scales and some new running shoes arriving tomorrow.


-Always wear clean clothes and always iron my work uniform.


-Shave regularly unless of course I decide to grow a beard for reasons other than laziness haha.


-Wash up the dishes straight after every meal. Clean the house at least a bit every day.


If you are like me and struggle with these things feel free to post in this thread and make goals of your own if you want. For me the time has come where I realise I must change for my own physical and mental health.

Hi my name is Matt. How are you today?
"The box will have wings like an aeroplane. And you ask where will it take you? Home I will say"

Last edited by Silent Memory; 09-04-2020 at 06:18 AM. Reason: I put it into paragraphs to make it easier to read. Itís a good post. :) I hope you can stick to this.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 12:06 AM
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I hear you and yes depression can interfere with managing basic tasks. But I also know not everyone is good with completing every chore you mention. So Ive been wondering how do you tell if it's just bad habits?

I might encourage you to pick a few to focus on first and add more later? Just keep improving. Or like modify cleaning the house every other day to make a manageable goal.

But I must admit, would like to improve. I don't do all of these every day: cook every dinner, wash up the dishes straight after every meal, never iron, put clean clothes away immediately, clean the house at least a bit every day.
I did start doing 30 mins exercise 6 days a week. Which I feel good about sticking to. Maybe next is only one take out a week (sometimes its 2 or 3)

Good luck, and if you mess up one day, just keep working at it, don't beat yourself up and quit.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 03:59 AM
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I wouldn't lump in exercise with the rest of this. Scrubbing a brush against your teeth or mopping the floor for a bit can't be compared to stressing your muscles to the point where your body is begging you to stop, again and again. I exercise every day and hate every moment, but apparently some people enjoy it and not even in a masochistic kind of way. Just another way my genes have let me down, I suppose.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by introvert33 View Post
I hear you and yes depression can interfere with managing basic tasks. But I also know not everyone is good with completing every chore you mention. So Ive been wondering how do you tell if it's just bad habits?

I might encourage you to pick a few to focus on first and add more later? Just keep improving. Or like modify cleaning the house every other day to make a manageable goal.

But I must admit, would like to improve. I don't do all of these every day: cook every dinner, wash up the dishes straight after every meal, never iron, put clean clothes away immediately, clean the house at least a bit every day.
I did start doing 30 mins exercise 6 days a week. Which I feel good about sticking to. Maybe next is only one take out a week (sometimes its 2 or 3)


Good luck, and if you mess up one day, just keep working at it, don't beat yourself up and quit.
It's a good question. It's true that a lot of people who don't have any mental illness can still struggle with certain tasks because they are busy, disorganised, or simply don't enjoy them. In my case all the above things are things that I know i am failing to do simply because I have been depressed and not caring about myself. I left out stuff like work on the garden because I know I hate gardening even if I am feeling great about life and myself. You just have to be honest with yourself about the reason why you don't do something and whether it is linked with depression/anxiety or not.Good luck with your exercising and limiting your take out. And don't worry I won't beat myself up when I fail I know this is a long journey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
I wouldn't lump in exercise with the rest of this. Scrubbing a brush against your teeth or mopping the floor for a bit can't be compared to stressing your muscles to the point where your body is begging you to stop, again and again. I exercise every day and hate every moment, but apparently some people enjoy it and not even in a masochistic kind of way. Just another way my genes have let me down, I suppose.
I am one of those strange people who enjoys exercise when I go out and do it, especially if there is a competitive element involved. But because of my stupid depression and anxiety riddled brain I just don't feel up to it a lot of the time. So it's basically a case of forcing myself to do something I will actually enjoy, which probably sound pretty stupid but there you go.

Hi my name is Matt. How are you today?
"The box will have wings like an aeroplane. And you ask where will it take you? Home I will say"
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-06-2020, 09:12 AM
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I don't suffer from depression but still struggle with these things every day. Something useful that I learned was chaining: once you have done one thing, you get the 'high' of accomplishment that can motivate you enough to do a bit more. Hence if you can push yourself just a little and don't leave big gaps in between the tasks, you can chain them together and let that wave of accomplishment help with your motivation.

So for example if I get myself to do some yoga in the morning, I find brushing my teeth and making breakfast much easier than I would otherwise.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-19-2020, 07:49 AM
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I really like this thread. Raw honesty.

OK so some stuff I've got to do:

Help around the house a lot more. I'm better than I used to be but still it's not nearly enough considering all the free time I have, and that I don't have the excuse of being depressed anymore.

Go somewhere, anywhere, every day. Take the dogs out, play guitar, listen to music maybe. But get out of the house.

Visit my grandpa every now and then. Maybe the best way is simply to tag along when my mom goes see him.

Listen to the news on the radio so I know what's going on.

Seriously cut down on my smoking.

Exercise. I don't have a weight problem and don't care much about muscle tone, but I am pretty unhealthy. I do some physical work every now and then and that's when I notice it the most. I hate working out though, always have. This bit?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alleviate Suffering View Post
I am one of those strange people who enjoys exercise when I go out and do it, especially if there is a competitive element involved. But because of my stupid depression and anxiety riddled brain I just don't feel up to it a lot of the time. So it's basically a case of forcing myself to do something I will actually enjoy, which probably sound pretty stupid but there you go.
It seems like a superpower to me. Probably the best choice for me is to ride the bike. Which would also mean I'm outside. Two birds, one stone. (Where are all these psychos killing birds with rocks?) (Actually, I hear all kinds of **** people do to dogs and other animals often, so scratch that.)

Learn more songs on guitar.

Clean my desktop computer, since my brother is willing to pay for its repair as long as it isn't ridiculously expensive.

Put pen to paper again.

Figure out and inform myself on what I'm gonna do next year.



That's it for now. There's more I could list but no. OP, how are you doing? You sticking to it?

Flowers will grow from these wounds.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-26-2020, 09:15 PM
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Good post. My goal is to sleep at least 7 hours each night.
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