Committing to Basic Self Care - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-03-2020, 12:48 PM Thread Starter
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Committing to Basic Self Care


One of the things about depression that doesn't seem to get portrayed that often is how difficult it can make it to even complete normal tasks that other people would find simple.

Cooking, cleaning, washing up dishes, tidying the house, washing my clothes, ironing my clothes, shaving, getting my haircut, washing my teeth, exercising.


As a result of this I often feel, look and worst of all smell unclean or unhealthy when I go out which of course has a negative knock on effect on my anxiety and self esteem.


If you think I should be ashamed of this, well I am, but to get a better place you have to start by being honest about where you are. I want to get better and so I am setting some specific goals;


-Get my haircut once a month. I got my haircut today and have booked in an appointment for next month so this is a good start.


-Wash my teeth twice a day.


-Shower every day. Actually I usually manage this but I do sometimes miss a day if I am really low.


-Make myself a proper dinner every evening. No binge eating chocolate and no fast food, so I wave goodbye to Ronald Mcdonald for the forseeable future.


-Exercise regularly I have a weighing scales and some new running shoes arriving tomorrow.


-Always wear clean clothes and always iron my work uniform.


-Shave regularly unless of course I decide to grow a beard for reasons other than laziness haha.


-Wash up the dishes straight after every meal. Clean the house at least a bit every day.


If you are like me and struggle with these things feel free to post in this thread and make goals of your own if you want. For me the time has come where I realise I must change for my own physical and mental health.

"The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the "rat race" - the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing." (David Foster Wallace)

Last edited by Silent Memory; 09-04-2020 at 05:18 AM. Reason: I put it into paragraphs to make it easier to read. Itís a good post. :) I hope you can stick to this.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-03-2020, 11:06 PM
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I hear you and yes depression can interfere with managing basic tasks. But I also know not everyone is good with completing every chore you mention. So Ive been wondering how do you tell if it's just bad habits?

I might encourage you to pick a few to focus on first and add more later? Just keep improving. Or like modify cleaning the house every other day to make a manageable goal.

But I must admit, would like to improve. I don't do all of these every day: cook every dinner, wash up the dishes straight after every meal, never iron, put clean clothes away immediately, clean the house at least a bit every day.
I did start doing 30 mins exercise 6 days a week. Which I feel good about sticking to. Maybe next is only one take out a week (sometimes its 2 or 3)

Good luck, and if you mess up one day, just keep working at it, don't beat yourself up and quit.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 02:59 AM
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I wouldn't lump in exercise with the rest of this. Scrubbing a brush against your teeth or mopping the floor for a bit can't be compared to stressing your muscles to the point where your body is begging you to stop, again and again. I exercise every day and hate every moment, but apparently some people enjoy it and not even in a masochistic kind of way. Just another way my genes have let me down, I suppose.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 03:41 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by introvert33 View Post
I hear you and yes depression can interfere with managing basic tasks. But I also know not everyone is good with completing every chore you mention. So Ive been wondering how do you tell if it's just bad habits?

I might encourage you to pick a few to focus on first and add more later? Just keep improving. Or like modify cleaning the house every other day to make a manageable goal.

But I must admit, would like to improve. I don't do all of these every day: cook every dinner, wash up the dishes straight after every meal, never iron, put clean clothes away immediately, clean the house at least a bit every day.
I did start doing 30 mins exercise 6 days a week. Which I feel good about sticking to. Maybe next is only one take out a week (sometimes its 2 or 3)


Good luck, and if you mess up one day, just keep working at it, don't beat yourself up and quit.
It's a good question. It's true that a lot of people who don't have any mental illness can still struggle with certain tasks because they are busy, disorganised, or simply don't enjoy them. In my case all the above things are things that I know i am failing to do simply because I have been depressed and not caring about myself. I left out stuff like work on the garden because I know I hate gardening even if I am feeling great about life and myself. You just have to be honest with yourself about the reason why you don't do something and whether it is linked with depression/anxiety or not.Good luck with your exercising and limiting your take out. And don't worry I won't beat myself up when I fail I know this is a long journey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScorchedEarth View Post
I wouldn't lump in exercise with the rest of this. Scrubbing a brush against your teeth or mopping the floor for a bit can't be compared to stressing your muscles to the point where your body is begging you to stop, again and again. I exercise every day and hate every moment, but apparently some people enjoy it and not even in a masochistic kind of way. Just another way my genes have let me down, I suppose.
I am one of those strange people who enjoys exercise when I go out and do it, especially if there is a competitive element involved. But because of my stupid depression and anxiety riddled brain I just don't feel up to it a lot of the time. So it's basically a case of forcing myself to do something I will actually enjoy, which probably sound pretty stupid but there you go.

"The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the "rat race" - the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing." (David Foster Wallace)
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-06-2020, 08:12 AM
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I don't suffer from depression but still struggle with these things every day. Something useful that I learned was chaining: once you have done one thing, you get the 'high' of accomplishment that can motivate you enough to do a bit more. Hence if you can push yourself just a little and don't leave big gaps in between the tasks, you can chain them together and let that wave of accomplishment help with your motivation.

So for example if I get myself to do some yoga in the morning, I find brushing my teeth and making breakfast much easier than I would otherwise.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
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