Can you give some examples? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 07:43 AM Thread Starter
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Can you give some examples?


I see there are studies about the way we think and the effects of it. Like if you think it, then it's most likely to happen.

So my question is: What was you're last experience generated by the positive thinking?

Also, I would like to know about negative thinking too.

My main observation so far it that events won't happen until we make them happen, weather good or bad, simple or complex.

Someone told me to think positive and I still find it the hardest task.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 10:32 AM
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Positive thinking doesn't work for me when I force it. It happens naturally when I'm already happy. I don't really put much effort into changing my thoughts. I mainly stopped thinking negatively because I had become too lazy.

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 06:24 PM
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My favorite recent quote is "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right."

What you describe is also called "self-fulfilling prophecy" -- how what we expect to happen (good or bad) likely will.

My example ... I recently started a new medicine. Before starting it I Googled "positive reviews" on this med. I refused to read anything negative. I read dozens of positive reviews and was so optimistic that this medicine would help my panic attacks at work. Guess what? It works beautifully. I'll bet if I only read negative reviews or just random reviews (good AND bad) I would have a different experience, perhaps not as successful.

I totally believe in the power of the mind to affect change, positive or negative.

Here's another cliche: "Change your mind; change your life."
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 09:03 PM
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I have been practicing positive thinking and doing exercises since the fall and it's been generally working pretty well. I've been doing a LOT of exercises and practices every single day and I'm getting better and better at it. Since you're just starting, here's a link that I just discovered today that I believe will be really helpful for you:

http://www.lawofattraction-resourceg...exercises-1-30
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-12-2014, 03:25 PM
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What you describe is also called "self-fulfilling prophecy" -- how what we expect to happen (good or bad) likely will.
Yes, me and my therapist discussed this term, and how it recently applied to my situation. Here's how it went:

The last few months, I had subconsciously become obsessed with pain. Not self injury, specifically. But, I just had an obsession with getting into a fight, getting "battle scars" (from stuff like bike riding etc). The reason was because I never had been in a fight in my life, and never did risky things. I never got any scars, and felt like I was "missing out" on that whole experience.

I had even written a very strange poem about pain and pleasure, and relationships too.

Fast forward a few months, and I meet a girl and decide to start seeing her. Long story short, she's really into pain: hitting, slapping, biting, clawing, etc. The relationship ended volatile, but I definitely got my "battle scars" that I was so obsessed with.

Talked to my therapist again, and I realized that the poem I wrote before, seemed to describe the girl I was seeing (months before meeting her). My therapist explained that maybe it was as self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe I got involved with this girl because I was subconsciously seeking that painful volatile relationship that I described in my poem.

Basically, I had an obsession with pain. I felt like I deserved to be hurt, both physically and emotionally. And that feeling manifested itself in my actions that led me to be with a person who actually did physically and emotionally hurt me. So my prophecy was fulfilled.

Mind over matter.
By default, these prophecies tend to be negative. You just have to take control of your life, and use it for more positive goals.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-13-2014, 08:58 PM
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read the spaces between my words
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-13-2014, 09:19 PM
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Positive thinking is a scam

you cant make things happen by thinking about them. However by constantly thinking positive, you can thinkyourself into taking riskier actions, which can result in a better life.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-14-2014, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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Wait a minute, Zeeshan. I have a question: what's the first thing you do before taking action?
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-15-2014, 12:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Str View Post
Positive thinking doesn't work for me when I force it. It happens naturally when I'm already happy. I don't really put much effort into changing my thoughts. I mainly stopped thinking negatively because I had become too lazy.
Pretty much this.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-15-2014, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Jef View Post
I see there are studies about the way we think and the effects of it. Like if you think it, then it's most likely to happen.

So my question is: What was you're last experience generated by the positive thinking?

Also, I would like to know about negative thinking too.

My main observation so far it that events won't happen until we make them happen, weather good or bad, simple or complex.

Someone told me to think positive and I still find it the hardest task.
Yesterday, I sat in awe of the world and was filled with a sensation of love that seemed interconnected with the universe. Most cynics would call this a delusion, go off on a tirade regarding people like me, being responsible for the misery of the world... in general try to bring me down.

This experience, was generated by positive thinking and simply letting go of negativity. It was brought on, simply by thinking of the good things in life, and letting myself appreciate them.

When I go to work, I focus on the good things rather than the bad. I know, my coworkers are going to slack off, my boss is going to hand over his responsibilities to me while he socializes with his superiors, that I am going to come home aching in pain.. but, I have a job - something I did without for nearly five years. I also am not stuck there, should I not want to be there. I actually enjoy what I do, even though there are negatives in it.

If I solely focused on the negatives, without looking for the positives then I would not care for the job in the least bit, I too would be slacking off, and probably fired. Plus, it would likely set me in a depression as I looked further and further into the absolute pointlessness to life.

To let go of negative thought, you must first let go of your ego. The ego, the person you expect yourself to be, the persona you and society has built an identity around negativism. You have to rebuild yourself, and your world view. You have to put fourth an effort, because wrestling with the ego is no simple matter. It is much like an addiction, and you will be constantly finding justification in maintaining it.

Thinking positively, does not mean you will be unhindered by life. It does not mean you will never experience tragedy, nor does it mean you will be incredibly successful in life. It simply means, you are able to appreciate what you do have in life, and gain joy from it.

It is all about perspective, you can focus your attention on the bad things, or you can look for the good things. Of course, not everyone is gonna be capable of doing this - I imagine severe depression would put a hinder on anyone and represent a major obstacle to achieving a positive outlook on life.

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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-15-2014, 08:12 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
To let go of negative thought, you must first let go of your ego. The ego, the person you expect yourself to be, the persona you and society has built an identity around negativism. You have to rebuild yourself, and your world view. You have to put fourth an effort, because wrestling with the ego is no simple matter. It is much like an addiction, and you will be constantly finding justification in maintaining it.
Very good observations. I think your are obs are pretty appreciated in real life. I'm saying this because I haven't thought that thinking negative causes pleasure to my ego, even though it does, so it must be a vicious mechanism that I need to undo and start over, making it for the sake of well being.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-15-2014, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
Yesterday, I sat in awe of the world and was filled with a sensation of love that seemed interconnected with the universe. Most cynics would call this a delusion, go off on a tirade regarding people like me, being responsible for the misery of the world... in general try to bring me down.

This experience, was generated by positive thinking and simply letting go of negativity. It was brought on, simply by thinking of the good things in life, and letting myself appreciate them.

When I go to work, I focus on the good things rather than the bad. I know, my coworkers are going to slack off, my boss is going to hand over his responsibilities to me while he socializes with his superiors, that I am going to come home aching in pain.. but, I have a job - something I did without for nearly five years. I also am not stuck there, should I not want to be there. I actually enjoy what I do, even though there are negatives in it.

If I solely focused on the negatives, without looking for the positives then I would not care for the job in the least bit, I too would be slacking off, and probably fired. Plus, it would likely set me in a depression as I looked further and further into the absolute pointlessness to life.

To let go of negative thought, you must first let go of your ego. The ego, the person you expect yourself to be, the persona you and society has built an identity around negativism. You have to rebuild yourself, and your world view. You have to put fourth an effort, because wrestling with the ego is no simple matter. It is much like an addiction, and you will be constantly finding justification in maintaining it.

Thinking positively, does not mean you will be unhindered by life. It does not mean you will never experience tragedy, nor does it mean you will be incredibly successful in life. It simply means, you are able to appreciate what you do have in life, and gain joy from it.

It is all about perspective, you can focus your attention on the bad things, or you can look for the good things. Of course, not everyone is gonna be capable of doing this - I imagine severe depression would put a hinder on anyone and represent a major obstacle to achieving a positive outlook on life.
I had a very similar experience just this week. The funny thing about positive thinking is that it sounds so simple, "Just think positive happy thoughts, and you'll be happy!"

My natural thoughts were always, "Well DUH. Of course thinking happy makes you happy. Its not that easy though, when your life sucks." And the flaw with that response is that its... you guessed it... a negative thought.

But its so hard to be positive when you have been negative for sooo long.
So I read some books, listened to some speeches, and ultimately came upon this audiobook:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O7ReMxt0Ow

Its six hours long, but I GUARANTEE its worth it. Do what I did, and do your dishes while listening to it, or clean your room. Don't just sit there, or you will be bored. lol.

Basically the video just REALLY drives into your head that happiness and love breeds more happiness and love, and negativity breeds more negativity. If you are always looking for the down side in everything... then you will always surely find it.

So I listened to that video entirely in one night. Slept on it. Then woke up the next morning (at 7am all on my own without a clock!). I went into the kitchen (which I had cleaned thoroughly) and sat at the table. Everything seemed soooo bright and colorful! I could see it; the positivity in the world. That everything is inherently beautiful, and all the ugliness is just in my head. Its the way I choose to look at life.

I realized how blessed I am to just be alive, and healthy. And I realized that my family and friends are what are truly important in my life. And that I need to stop wasting time pitying myself!

Yeah, and those cynics are the worst kind of people. They are just awfully negative people, who will do anything to bring you down. I wish them well in life, but they won't go far without an attitude change.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-15-2014, 12:40 PM
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Letting negativity go usually works for me as not giving a crap about most things, unless it's something I really enjoy. Today it was raining and I didn't even notice it until I was already back home. I don't have this attitude often, but it really works for me. This way, I treat bad and annoying things not any more serious than when it would happen in a video game or movie.

If you want to talk to me, send me a message.
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