Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: The Netherlands
Beyond Good and Evil
Positive thinking ain't going to get you anywhere. This goal can be even counter productive. The distinction between a positive and a negative thought isn't straight forward anyway. What's the yardstick?
Many thoughts I've had would undoubtedly be labeled negative by most, while it has greatly helped me to allow them to exist, to not fight them. Encourage them, even. There's always a reason for them, there's always an interest of mine involved. Even though it often is not apparent right away. These thoughts aren't out there to destroy me. In fact, they have led me inwards, rather, the feelings attached to them. Often quite ferociously. Far beyond the capability of "positive thoughts". Pearls are at the bottom. There ain't no scooping them up from the "happy" surface. Any chance of a blessing in disguise is out of the window if only "positives" are allowed. The substrate wil remain. Patiently waiting there for you to catch you off guard. You ain't going nowhere. This is in you, this is also you. You can run but you can't hide. Not forever. There are things in store for you. Like or dislike has nothing to do with it.
So hand in the towel? Succumb to the abyss? I think there's a better way of looking at it. Here's where the title comes in. There are no positive or negative thoughts. There are only thoughts. They present themselves. You're not behind the wheel. No need to. I'd opt for a pragmatic approach. For making the distinction between constructive and non constructive. Thoughts and emotions are a language. An anker lowering you down to the pearls. You can use them, let them show you the way. Be inquisitive. I can't think of anything more interesting, more important, in fact. It has been my core buisiness for twenty years. There have been times the validity of this mindset, this welcoming of everything form the inside, were questioned. Times when I hit the line of suicide, the end of my ability to cope with the relentless onslaught of emotions. I don't know if I can avoid it in the end. There is such a thing as too much to bear. It's beyond a mindset. Beyond my say in this, really. But I don't regret how I approached what life threw at me. Not a second. I honestly believe this was and is the way to go. Because I don't decide what's inside. What has been there for as long as I can remember.
But the constructive and non constructive. I think thoughts and emotions can be welcomed, encouraged, repressed, denied. It has an effect on what you experience at the moment they present themselves. To some extent, in most cases. The weaker the emotions, the more they can be channeled into certain directions. Since coping capability seems to be a finite source and this is the major league we've been trown in, a degree of portion control is in order. It becomes harder, the stronger the emotions. So that's a bit of a catch-22. Over the course of time, however, there's always room to steer towards diving further in or going towards the surface. You can shift your attention towards it or away from it. The former is my default and I think you can see the pitfall in that. You can't pick the war, but you can pick your battles. To a certain extent. What's constructive and what's not may vary with your coping capability. You can encourage "negativity" too much, beyond the point where it leads you to the pearls, where it swallows you hole. You can repress "negativity" too much too. No growth is there to be found. Denial is to throw the kid out with the bath water. It's a fairy tail too. Life aint like that. It's a delicate balance, an equilibrium, between diving in and taking a break. Between making the best of it now and embracing the greatest pain you can imagine in order to grow, to live. It's only when you cought some pearls, you understand what doesn't kill you truly makes you stronger.
((( connect or perish )))